Wishful Thinking
by DOJ
Summary: James is starting his 7th year and he still has a crush on Lily, but she's not sure if she feels the same way. FINISHED! Please R&R! Thanks!
1. Sweet Victories, Sweet Dreams

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I'm still going to continue adding to this but I've changed me mind about one thing, I'm going to separate it into chapters instead of keeping it as one consecutive document. They will most likely be very short chapters. I hope you all enjoy this!!! Please R&R! Oh, and if any of you remember the name of the Caretaker during the Potter's time at school, please tell me! If anyone has a better idea for a title, I'm open to suggestions!!!  
  
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"And, I don't believe it!" the announcer's voice rang out over the filled stadium, "Potter's caught the snitch! Only 5 minutes into the game and Potter's already caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins!"  
  
A red and gold wave of color exploded in the stands, applauding for their team's victory as James Potter flew around the stadium, raising his right hand; the hand that triumphantly clutched the struggling snitch.  
  
"James! That was brilliant!" Remus Lupin shouted over the din as is friend landed on dampened spring grass.  
  
"Barking mad!" Sirius Black laughed as he ruffled his friend's already untidy hair. "Did you see the look on Snivellus' face?"  
  
"Bet he was furious!" James sang gleefully.  
  
"No, you only grabbed the snitch before the Slytherin's seeker had kicked off the ground." Sirius rolled his eyes while Peter Pettigrew, Wormtail, giggled insanely. Staring disgustedly at Wormtail, Sirius suggested James change out of his Quidditch robes and join the others in the common room where there was undoubtedly a party waiting for him.  
  
"Yeah, and Evans will be waiting for you," Remus teased.  
  
James tried to cast a bewildered look at Lupin but as much as he tried, he couldn't hide his growing smile. "And why would I care if Evans was there?" He attempted to yell as his friends, grinning, shoved him into the Quidditch changing room.  
  
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"Password?" The Pink Lady asked James when he approached.  
  
"Bezoar," he ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even more, as the portrait swung open, revealing a room dripping with Gryffindor flags and banners.  
  
"And here he is!" Arthur Weasely cried, "The star of the Quidditch field himself, Jaaaaaaames Potter!" The room erupted in cheers as James stepped through the threshold, performing mock bows for his audience. People laughed at his usual antics then continued on with their previous conversations.  
  
Glancing around the crowded common room, James searched for a glimpse of Evans, Lily Evans. Then suddenly, there she was, standing by the fire, sipping punch with her friend, Maren Goldberg. "She's so beautiful," he whispered to himself. Her red hair fell thickly around her shoulders, setting off her stunning green eyes. Catching her eye, he had just raised his arm to wave when he was surrounded by his friends. It was possibly the one time in his life that he was not glad to see them.  
  
"Prongs! What are you standing in the doorway for?" Sirius questioned.  
  
Tracing the path of James' gaze, Remus suggested: "He was staring at Evans."  
  
The grin faded from Sirius' face. "That's it? You ditching us for her?"  
  
"Sirius, that's not true and you know it!" Remus tried to warn and console him at the same time.  
  
"Ok, ok," Sirius gave in, "but why are you wasting your time on Evans? There are plenty of hot girls waiting for us over there," he gestured to a group of attractive girls who giggled and waved back.  
  
"You mean a group of girls waiting for you," James smirked. No boy would ever manage Sirius' good looks. The way his dark hair fell over is eyes seemed to attract all the Hogwarts girls, no matter what age or house.  
  
"Yeah," he grinned, "but I can't have all of them, there's plenty to go around!"  
  
James laughed and allowed Sirius to drag him and Remus towards the group of coquettish girls as Wormtail trailed behind.  
  
"So what if I hang with other girls?" James thought to himself. "Maybe Lily will see how desired I am and finally realize what she's missing."  
  
Though the majority of the girls spent the evening hanging all over Sirius, a couple were willing to flirt with the Quidditch star, and a bookworm, Christyai, spent the evening immersed in a conversation with Lupin. Even Peter managed to get some attention from some of the shier girls. James was enjoying the intense flirting so much he even managed to forget about Lily for an hour or two. That is, he managed to forget about her until 2 A.M. when the four boys retired to the 7th year dormitories, allowing his mind to be freed from the thoughts of flirting girls and filled with dreams of Lily Evans. As he crashed onto the bed that would one day belong to his future son, James found that sleep would not come. Instead, he was filled with unavoidable thoughts of Lily.  
  
Closing his eyes, desirable fantasies flowed into his mind. Lily was standing with a group of girls, giggling at the hilarious joke he had made - Him stepping off his broom, triumphantly raising the Quidditch cup as Lily ran up and kissed his cheek - He was asking her on a date and she was accepting - smiling to himself at those impossibilities, James finally fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.  
  
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	2. Shared Troubles

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"Pst, Remus!" Sirius' hand reached out from behind a door and pulled Lupin into an empty classroom.  
  
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but.what's going on?"  
  
"Well, you know how we know almost all of the passageways in the school?" James stepped out of the shadows.  
  
"Yeah?" Lupin still sounded fairly uncertain.  
  
"Well, we decided to make a map!"  
  
"A map?" It was clearly not the answer that Remus had expected.  
  
"It was Sirius' idea!" Peter spoke up excitedly.  
  
"Wait, let me get this straight," Remus tried to hide his growing smile. "We're going to make a map of the secret passage ways in the school, and do what with it?"  
  
"Leave it for our future troublemakers to enjoy!"  
  
"And if it falls into the wrong hands?"  
  
"It can't, we're going to bewitch it so that only true trouble makers at heart can use it."  
  
"Yes, they simply say 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good' and the map will appear, when they're finished they say 'mischief managed' and it will clear itself."  
  
"I'm impressed; you guys have really thought this through,"  
  
"Well, we concentrate on the serious things in life," James forced a serious face.  
  
"Yeah, and after becoming an animagus something like this was easy!" Sirius added.  
  
Laughing, Remus agreed to help with the map.  
  
"And well sigh our names as Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," Sirius added. "Now all we need to do is put a bit of ourselves into this map and we will have the perfect creation!"  
  
They put a good half hour or so into creating the map, the map that would reveal the secrets of the school to any mischief-maker and help make their lives easier.  
  
"Well, I think it's finished," Sirius exclaimed happily.  
  
"I dub thee, The Marauder's Map!" Remus declared.  
  
"M-Marauder's?" Peter questioned hesitantly.  
  
"It means raider, troublemaker, something of that sort," James filled in the blanks in his friend's empty mind.  
  
"So what now?"  
  
"We plant it where the future rulers of the school will find it."  
  
"And that is.?"  
  
"You know that drawer labeled 'confiscated' in Filch's office?"  
  
"You have got to be joking!"  
  
"Not at all!" Sirius grinned. "Another adventure for the werewolf quartet!"  
  
Laughing, the boys exited the abandoned classroom and headed to join the rest of the school for lunch in the Great Hall.  
  
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"Would the Head Boy and Head Girl please report to the Head of their house after their final class is finished."  
  
The Gryffindor 7th years were halfway through History of Magic when the announcement came.  
  
"Probably to warn the students not to leave confiscated maps lying around," James muttered to Sirius who in turn, snickered.  
  
"Ahem" Lily cleared her throat and turned around to glare at them.  
  
"Hey, remember the first 'head' meeting James went to? How Evans gave him such a hard time?" Sirius tried not to laugh as James glared at him.  
  
Try as he might, James could not suppress the memory that came rushing back to him.  
  
It was the start of their seventh year, the Head Boy and Girl had been called to the first compartment of the Hogwarts express for their instructions. As he strolled into the compartment, James was not surprised to see Lily standing next to McGonagall, but she apparently was surprised to see him.  
  
Rolling her eyes she slowly walked up to James, whispering, "What are you doing here Potter? Where are the rest of your clones?"  
  
"The same reason you're here without your clones, Evan's."  
  
"You can't possibly mean-" her eyes traced down to the Head Boy badge pinned on his chest. "Oh my God, that's - that's not possible - Professor!" She turned on her heel, "Professor, there must be some mistake! Potter, a Head Boy?"  
  
"I can assure you that there is no mistake, Miss Evans."  
  
"But, are you sure he's responsible enough? Surely Remus Lupin would have been a better choice. I mean, you of all people know of Potter and Black's reputation-"  
  
"Miss Evans, I assure you, both Headmaster Dumbledore and I are quite sure that Mr. Potter is capable of upholding this position, and we hope that as 7th years, you two will respect our decision and work together. Is that clear?"  
  
Lily nodded meekly.  
  
"Good, now, if you two will follow me we can begin the instructions."  
  
The memory faded from James' mind as the bell rang, signaling the end of Last period. Shaking the last wisps of the memory from his mind, James collected his things and proceeded down the hall, after Lily, to McGonagall's office.  
  
"Good, I'm glad you two are here, I'd like to get this over as soon as possible, so.over the past few weeks there have been several accounts of theft. We ignored it at first, thinking it was just forgetfulness, students misplacing things, but it has been becoming more and more serious. Just yesterday Brittany Caston of Huffelpuff reported that her wand was missing, we found it this morning shoved into one of the taps in the prefect's bathroom." Sighing, McGonagall paused to massage her temples. "As Head Boy and Girl, it is your duty to look for any signs as to whom has been committing these crimes."  
  
"Um, Professor, if I may ask, are there any houses that objects have not been taken from?"  
  
Smiling, McGonagall answered, "I know what you are thinking, Mr. Potter, but all four houses have had objects stolen, from first through seventh years, prefects and troublemakers, boys and girls, whoever has been pilfering has been very careful in concealing their identity and their reason."  
  
"But Professor, surely you don't think a Gryffindor student has been committing these crimes!" Lily cried anxiously.  
  
"At this point, I have no idea, but I surely hope that no one from my house would have dreamed of committing anything as heinous as this. Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to speak with the Headmaster."  
  
Taking their cue, James and Lily nodded respectively and exited the room.  
  
"I can't believe a Hogwarts student could be doing this, can you?" Lily asked James in a hushed tone.  
  
Surprised that she was actually speaking to him, yet eager to make it last\, James subconsciously threw on a more mature voice and decided to try not to offend her. "Not at all, you wouldn't have thought that someone would be stupid enough to try it under Dumbledore's nose?"  
  
"Or desperate enough," sighing she added, "It sounds as though it may have started out as a prank."  
  
"But it's too well thought out for that. Someone's been taking time to plan these things out, it's not the work of a simple prankster," he spoke the words the moment they entered his mind.  
  
"Yeah, well you'd know a lot about that, wouldn't you, Potter?"  
  
"I'm not that juvenile!" he retorted.  
  
"Juvenile? Did you learn that word all by yourself? Or did Lupin have to teach it to you?" She put on a false voice as though she were talking to a young child.  
  
"Hey! Just because Sirius and I occasionally cause a bit of trouble does not mean we're stupid!"  
  
"Prove it,"  
  
"If you only knew," James muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing, Lily." The name slipped before he could catch himself.  
  
"What did you just say?" She asked, clearly astonished.  
  
"Nothing, EVANS." He began to walk faster.  
  
"You called me Lily, didn't you?" She maintained the same stride as James, no matter how many times he tried to change the speed.  
  
"Well, that's your name, isn't it?"  
  
"You never call me Lily," her voice softened, "it's always been 'Hey Evans,' 'same to you, Evans,' 'if you go out with me, Evans,'" She stopped, seeing the horrified look on his face after she uttered those final 7 words. "Oh my - oh my gosh."  
  
Horror-struck, James sprinted off, leaving her standing there gaping after him.  
  
"James! James, wait!"  
  
But he would not wait, he ran the rest of the way up to the Pink Lady's portrait, through the Gryffindor common room, and would not stop until the boys' dormitory door was slammed shut behind him and his pounding heart.  
  
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For the next few days, James tried his best to avoid Lily, "At least until the storm lulls," Lupin had said. Despite the fact that Sirius was James' best friend, James had refused from telling him what had happened that night after the meeting. Instead he had gone straight to Remus. Remus was the kind of guy who would give you advice but not tell you what to do, the kind who would not point out your mistakes but simply say what would be a better move next time, he was the kind of guy you could trust to keep a secret without being all cocky about it. In James' mind, Remus was the perfect person to go to.  
  
But as hard as he tried, James could not avoid Lily forever. Almost a week after the meeting, as he was entering the Great Hall, James bumped into someone leaving it, knocking her books to the floor. Being the gentleman that he was deep inside, James bent down to pick up her books. Handing them to her, his breath caught in his throat as he glimpsed her face.  
  
Quickly recovering from his shock, James spat out, "Sorry Evans," and began to stalk off into the hall.  
  
"James-" she reached out and grabbed his arm. She had a surprisingly strong grip for someone with such a goody-good attitude.  
  
"What? Come to humiliate me some more?" The words slipped out coldly. Not having intended this, James could feel his cheeks growing hot.  
  
"No, James, I." she paused, staring at the crowd that was stopping to gawk at them. "I just wanted to apologize for the other night, I didn't mean to make fun of you, it just..slipped out, I didn't realize."  
  
"It's ok," his voice softened, "It's not your fault, I mean, I probably would have laughed too if I were in your place." His voice broke, "I mean, who would be stupid enough to think that - that all-brawn-and-no-brain- Potter would win a date with stunningly-attractive-academic-star-Evans?" And with that, he turned away from his original destination and instead headed towards the empty classroom where he had helped create the Marauder's map only two weeks ago. He needed to be alone.  
  
"I am so pathetic!" James muttered to himself. "Who could have thought that Gryffindor's seeker with the don't-mess-with-me attitude would crack like that because of a girl?"  
  
"Yeah, well, everyone does stupid things when they're in love," a voice came from behind James.  
  
Whirling around, James tried to wipe the terror off his face, "Hullo, Frank. I didn't know anyone else was in here, sorry." he turned to leave but Frank Longbottom called him back.  
  
"Don't leave just 'cause I'm here, unless you want to be alone, that is."  
  
"I don't really know what I want right now."  
  
"Girl trouble?" Frank asked sympathetically.  
  
"The worst!" He moaned.  
  
Laughing, Frank agreed, "Same here, I'm hiding from Alice, you?"  
  
"Lily Evans."  
  
Frank gave a long, low whistle, "we sure know how to pick them, don't we?"  
  
"Only two of the smartest no-nonsense girls in the year!"  
  
Clearly thrilled at having found someone else to talk about girl troubles with, the two boys engaged in a deep conversation for the rest of lunch.  
  
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Meanwhile:  
  
"Lil, what was that all about?" Maren interrogated her as they headed towards the library.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Oh come on! Potter clearly likes you! And you clearly did something to offend him!"  
  
"It's nothing, really,"  
  
"Oh, right, and that's why half the school was watching you two. C'mon Lily, I'm your best friend! Even if it is nothing, I deserve to know! Now spill!"  
  
"Very well, though you're not acting like a best friend."  
  
"It's my job to know! I can't help you if I don't know what's going on!"  
  
Sighing, Lily began her story, "Oh the way back from the meeting, we were talking, and James called me Lily instead of his usual Evans. I just casually teased James about it, I was imitating him and I said 'If you go out with me, Evans' and he froze, and I never knew.I didn't realize he liked me.then he bolted, and he's been really cold towards me ever since."  
  
"You never knew he liked you? Girl, he's liked you ever since you first walked in this building."  
  
"Maren.I don't know what to do!"  
  
"Well, do you like him?"  
  
"I've never thought about it, I mean, this is James Potter we're talking about! That stuck-up, pure-blood Quidditch jerk! I mean, so what if he does look kind of cute when his hair's all messed up, and how sweet he can be when he tires, and how cute he is when he's embarrassed." she trailed off, hardly aware of what she was saying.  
  
"You like him!"  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"You are so in love with James Potter! I cannot believe it!"  
  
"No, no way, there is no possible way that I am in love with James Potter!"  
  
"Oh, but you are! You didn't just hear what I heard! Your eyes spaced out, your voice softened, and you got this dreamy look on your face."  
  
"You are so lying," but the confident defiance that was in her voice earlier had steadily left it.  
  
"Well, there's only one thing for you to do!"  
  
"And that is."  
  
Maren rolled her eyes, "tell him!"  
  
"You say that like it's the most obvious answer in the world."  
  
"That's 'cause it is," Maren interrupted.  
  
"I can't tell him! Not now! Not after all that!"  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"He won't believe me! After all that he's going to think it's just pity! He will never EVER believe me, I don't even believe me."  
  
"If it's so hard for you to go up and tell him how you feel, then that means you fear being rejected, which proves how much you really like him."  
  
"How do you know I just don't have an intense fear of being rejected by anyone? Maybe I'd be afraid that er." she cast around for a name, "Snape would reject me!"  
  
"Ok, any other girl would be begging Snape to reject her."  
  
"I didn't say I liked him," she rolled her eyes, "It was an example. I didn't even say I liked James, let alone Snape."  
  
"Lily, Lily-" Maren wheeled around, pulling her friend to a stop. "Look, you are never going to get Potter to believe you if you don't believe it yourself!"  
  
"Maren, I need to think on this for awhile before I admit I like James. Can you just, just give me some time?"  
  
"Alright girl, but I want to be the FIRST to know when you've come to your decision."  
  
"Ok, you leave me alone say, 'till Christmas holiday is over, and you'll be the first to know, deal?"  
  
"Deal." The girls shook hands, sealing the pack, then turned the corner and headed into the library.  
  
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	3. The Bond of Friendship

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"Maren, I'm going to miss you so much!" Lily murmured, hugging her friend good-bye. Christmas had come and Lily was heading home for the holidays.  
  
"I know, but a nice break with your family will give you plenty of time to think about James."  
  
"Maybe, Petunia will want nothing to do with me, but my parents, they'll be thrilled that they're eldest daughter is home," she rolled her eyes.  
  
Laughing, Maren agreed, "Yeah, mine would be too, except it's Chelsea's first year so she's going home to visit and their letting me spend my final Christmas here."  
  
"Lucky!"  
  
"Yeah, but I'll be working the whole time."  
  
"What to you mean?" Lily inquired suspiciously.  
  
"Finding out what James still thinks of you, of course!" she said with content.  
  
"No, no, no!" Lily's eyes opened wide in terror. "You wouldn't dare!"  
  
"Oh wouldn't I?" Maren grinned slyly.  
  
"But, but, we made a deal!"  
  
"And that wasn't part of it!" The Hogwarts Express let out a loud whistle. "You don't want to miss your train!" Shoving her friend between the closing doors, Maren called out, "Have a nice holiday!"  
  
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"This is going to be a long holiday." James murmured. He was sitting in front of a roaring fire in the Gryffindor common room, playing wizard chess with Sirius.  
  
"What makes you say that?" Sirius asked distractedly as he concentrated on his next move.  
  
"The fact that it's only been 49 hours and we've already resorted to playing chess." James answered glumly.  
  
"Well, we could make it more interesting."  
  
"Chess or the holiday?"  
  
"The holiday, you prat!"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well, Snivellus should be around somewhere, he always stays for the holidays, or we could sneak down to Hogsmeade."  
  
"Or," a new, slightly higher voice entered the conversation, "you could tell me why you keep avoiding Lily."  
  
James spun around so fast that the chess board went flying to the floor. "What on Earth are you talking about, Goldberg?" He attempted to recover from his shock.  
  
"Why won't you talk to Lily? Why won't you at least hear her out?" She fired the questions off so fast, James almost couldn't keep up.  
  
"I think you've found yourself a girl," Sirius nodded at Maren, clearly amused.  
  
"Naw, I'm into your friend Lupin, it's Lily that likes Potter."  
  
Completely taken aback by this statement, James couldn't seem to find his voice.  
  
"Just hear her out, Potter, you might be surprised."  
  
"Goldberg," he rasped, "you think I'm going to forgive her, just like that?"  
  
"If you really, honestly love her, yes."  
  
"But she doesn't like me, she made that clear the night she humiliated me," James avoided Sirius who was trying to catch his eye.  
  
"Swallow your pried, Potter. She made a mistake, that thick hair of hers blinded her to the obvious, kind of like how Black's is blinding him." Maren cocked her head in the direction of his puzzled friend. "Just think about it, Potter, you've got the whole holiday to think. You might just want to try to hear her out, after all, absence makes the heart grown fonder." She paused, making sure James was taking all of this in. "Right, I'll leave the task of explaining this mess to Black up to you. Night, Potter." And as quickly as she had appeared, Maren vanished into the growing crowd.  
  
Sighing, James turned to his previously ignored friend. "Right, I guess I should be telling you the story then."  
  
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"Lily! Lily darling!" Lily Evans turned towards the sound of her mom's cheery voice.  
  
"Mum! Dad! Petunia!" Wheeling her trunk toward them, Lily surveyed the group before her. Her parents were waving madly, noticeably excited that they're daughter had come home. But excited was hardly the word to describe Petunia. She was staring at a point somewhere beyond Lily, her tight-lipped expression revealed that she was clearly livid at being dragged a long. Ever since Lily had been accepted into Hogwarts 7 years ago, Petunia had not been the same. She was no longer the carefree 10-year- old who spent endless hours playing with Lily. No, now she wanted nothing to do with her sister.  
  
"Oh, honey!" Her mom swallowed her daughter in a hug, "it's so good to see you! How's school?"  
  
"Now, now Iris," Lily's dad broke in, "Lily can tell us all about it in the car. Let's just get her stuff there first." Smiling, Mr. Evans took the cart from Lily and pushed it towards the waiting car.  
  
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"It's great, they've been keeping us really busy, after all, it is our last year and we need to be prepared to face the world once we're out of school." Lily was safely in the car, going into detail about the first half of her school year.  
  
"That sounds wonderful, darling. What about your friends? I'd like it if you were having some fun in-between all that work."  
  
"They're great as well. You remember Maren Goldberg, don't you? I visited her a few summers ago? Well, she's still my best friend. And of course I have plenty of other friends." She added, seeing the concerned look on her mother's face. "I'm not a loner, mum, though sometimes I wish I were, it's almost impossible to get any work done with a group of giggling girls following you." She smiled in spite of herself, she loved those girls and she couldn't care less that they were always following her.  
  
"What about boys, Lil?"  
  
"Yes, darling, tell us!" Her mother sounded eager.  
  
"Well, what about them?" Lily had tried evading this subject for as long as possible. She did not want to bring up the topic of James.  
  
"Come on now, you must have had at least one boyfriend."  
  
"I haven't." She said stiffly. "Is there a law that says I should have?"  
  
"No, but darling, it's just not healthy for a girl of your age to not have had a boyfriend."  
  
Petunia smirked at Lily from across the car. It was the first time she had acknowledged Lily since they had met up again.  
  
"Why, Petunia here," her dad started, proudly, "she's had a good number of boyfriends. Lars, Jason, Ed, Vernon." he ticked the names off on his fingers as he went on.  
  
"Darling, don't be upset, we respect your decision, but honey, you're 17, almost 18, sometimes I think you should concentrate less on your studies and more on your social life."  
  
"But don't you want me to do well?" she chanced a sidelong glance at Petunia who was looking smug.  
  
"Of course we do! But dear, you're a straight A,"  
  
"O," Lily corrected her automatically.  
  
"Right, straight O student, I think you can afford to relax a little."  
  
Watching the smile slide from Petunia's face at the mention of grades, Lily felt slightly cheered. "Mum, I do relax. And it's not like I don't hang out with guys or go on dates, I'm just not deeply interested in a particular one." "Except for James," Maren's voice echoed through her mind. "No Maren, note even James." She thought, disagreeing with one of the first positive thoughts she'd had all day.  
  
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"Ok, so let me get this straight, you like Evans, but you were afraid to tell me because you didn't want me to think you were ditching us?" James had just finished explaining the whole dilemma to Sirius.  
  
"Close enough," he shrugged.  
  
"James, we're 18, we're gonna have to go out with girls sooner or later, mate."  
  
James gave a sigh of relief as Sirius laughed and threw his arm over James' shoulder. "Just make sure she's a worthwhile girl, not some no-brained, no- looks hussy. She's got to go through Padfoot's approval first."  
  
"So, how does Evans check?" James laughed.  
  
"Hm," Sirius feigned a look of concentration, "she passes, though she's not up to Black standards."  
  
"That's good, otherwise you'd have to fight me for her."  
  
"Speaking of fighting, look who just stepped out in front of us."  
  
James took his laughing eyes off the stone floor to find what Sirius was talking about. Catching sight of the oily black-haired student in front of them, James' eyes lost their fire, whereas Sirius' gained it.  
  
Stealing a glance at James' expression, Sirius frowned. "What now, James? Evans isn't here, no one's here except for you, me, and Snivellus."  
  
Regaining his confidence, James muttered an "okay," to Sirius, then, amplifying his voice he said, "Hey, Snivellus!" Have you taken a shower yet this year?" Severus Snape wheeled around. "You better take one soon, even the cockroaches are fleeing."  
  
Sirius sniggered as Snape drew out his wand. "You'll be wanting to put that away, Snivelly, you've forgotten who you're dealing with."  
  
"What? A worthless, brainless Quidditch Seeker with no future and a mangy mutt?" Snape spat out.  
  
Sirius laughed coolly, "Is that the best you can come up with? All that grease must be affecting your brain."  
  
"At least my associate isn't dating a mudblood."  
  
James lunged at Snape, sending him sprawling to the ground before he could even reach for his wand. "You worthless. Filthy. Piece. Of. Scum!" James gasped in between blows to Snape's face.  
  
It was Maren that finally pulled James off of Snape, she had come across the trio on her way to lunch. "James, stop it, he's not worth wasting your energy."  
  
"But he called Lily a-a-" he panted.  
  
"Lily wouldn't have wanted you to do this. Just get up Potter, he's not worth it. Snape, make yourself useful and disappear." Noticing the blood spurting from his nose she suggested, "You might want to get yourself to the hospital wing."  
  
Snape sulkily scampered off as Sirius turned back to James who was staring after Maren's retreating back.  
  
"I'd hate to see what you'd do to him if Lily were actually your girlfriend, mate."  
  
*********************************************************************** 


	4. Hidden Instincts

***********************************************************************  
  
Lily was gently folding clothes, taking them out of her trunk and placing them in her empty wardrobe, when her door flew open behind her, slamming into the wall. Instinct from living in the Wizarding World told her to pull out her wand and turn to face her foe, but a deeper, older instinct was stronger.  
  
"Hey Petunia," she called over her shoulder, never pausing in her task.  
  
"So, mum and Daddy's favorite little girl is back once again. Why don't you stay at that asylum where you belong, with all the other freaks?"  
  
"Because, unlike you, Mum and Dad want to see me. After all, spending all year with their normally deranged muggle child must be driving them insane." She retorted calmly.  
  
"Deranged? Me? I'm not the one who goes around turning teacups into frogs,"  
  
"You're also not the one who goes around spitting out timetables or historical dates. Was that your report card on the fridge? Or did you just learn the 4th letter of the alphabet and were practicing it over and over for your proud parents?"  
  
"That is none of your business!"  
  
"Petunia, I don't even take any of those subjects and I could name all the multiplication facts, all of England's Kings, and the dates of their wars! I hope that if your wasting all your study time on boys you've at least chosen worthwhile ones. But knowing you, you probably went for the one with the smallest brain and biggest muscles."  
  
"At least I have a boyfriend!"  
  
"And who says I don't? Just because I'm their favorite child academically doesn't mean I tell them everything. Gosh," she added with mock concern, "if I did they might not have any pride or love left for you!" And with that, Lily stormed out of her room, distancing herself from Petunia as much as possible.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The Christmas holidays were slowly dragging on for James and Sirius. Even though it was their 7th year, most people had chosen or been forced, to return home for Christmas.  
  
James threw his book, Quidditch through the Ages, down; causing a breeze that blew down Sirius' house of cards. "I hate this! No one's here! Have you ever seen the common room this empty? We're the only one's in here! Sirius - Sirius?" He turned to look at this muted friend.  
  
Sirius was completely singed, from his usually glamorous looking head to toes hidden by wizard robes. A smell of smoke hung in the air, over a scorched mark on the desk where the cards had been only moments before.  
  
"Wh-what happened?" James stuttered.  
  
"Put two and two together," Sirius muttered crossly. When James cast a still bewildered look, Sirius sighed. "I was building the house out of exploding snap cards, the breeze from your book blew it over it exploded, and now I'm like this."  
  
"Jeeze, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen-" He stopped as Sirius held up a hand to silence him.  
  
"Stop babbling, what is it with you? Lately you've been so out of whack!"  
  
"I'm sorry," James said miserably. He collapsed in his chair, placing his head in his hands. "I don't know what's wrong, I feel so pathetic, getting upset over a girl, mad 'cause there's no one here to entertain us, afraid to hex Snape."  
  
"You're not afraid, are you?"  
  
"No, I'm so bored.I'd hex him the minute I saw him,"  
  
"Then what are we sitting around here for? We've got some Snivelly hunting to do!"  
  
************************************************************************  
  
They found him out on the grounds, walking by the frozen lake. Kneeling to the ground, Sirius muttered an incantation, bewitching a few snowballs.  
  
Straightening up he took one in his hand and yelled, "Oy! Snivellus!" As Snape turned around, Sirius slung the snowball in his direction. At first it looked as if the snowball was going to miss horribly, Snape obviously thought so because he just sneered at the duo, but suddenly, the snowball took an unexpected turn and smashed right into Snape's hooked nose. James doubled over in laughter at the look of astonished fury on Snape's face.  
  
"Pretty good aim, eh?"  
  
"You-you-you are so-" but before they could find out what Sirius was, James had flung another snowball that circled around Snape's head before landing in his mouth.  
  
Now it was Sirius' turn to laugh, "How's that taste, Snape?" He spat out in between bouts of laughter.  
  
Snape's pale face turned the shade of wilting pink roses. Fuming, he began blasting the snowballs as they came near him, hoping to discourage his attackers, but this just provided more of a challenge for them.  
  
Laughing, both Sirius and James threw snowballs at the same time. The balls both zoomed towards Snape's face then split, each taking a different direction. Snape seemed unsure which to hit first, and before he could stop it, they had both rammed into a different side of his head, boxing his ears.  
  
Roars of laughter erupted from around the fight were a crowd of bystanders had formed. A few Slytherin students stood there looking unsure of whether they should stand up for a fellow Slytherin or remain in their places where they knew they were safe. One of the bigger, burlier Slytherin 7th years strode forward and knocked the snowballs away. He appeared to be the ringleader of the crowd, as 3 other Slythierns immediately followed his lead.  
  
But this just encouraged the Gryffindor troublemakers more. Several students stepped forward behind the duo, assuring them that they had plenty of backup. Glancing around at the team that had assembled behind them, James found that, much to his surprise, Maren and one of her giggling girlfriends had been at the head of the team, signifying their steadfast allegiance.  
  
"Maren? I thought you didn't approve of this sort of thing." James teased.  
  
"Hey, that was when you two ganged up on Snape for no reason, but 5 against 2 really isn't fair. Besides," she added mischievously, "I love seeing a Slytherin get his butt kicked." Scooping up some snow she yelled, "Eat this, Slytherin scum!"  
  
"Maren that snows not-" the snowball flew past his face and hit the ringleader in the gut, "bewitched."  
  
"Potter, just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I need to bewitch snow to hit my target." Staring at his amazed expression she gave an exasperated sigh, "I have 3 muggle brothers, I had to defend myself somehow."  
  
"Right," James shook his head and turned his attention back towards the snowball fight. More students were joining the brawl. It was turning into a free-for-all, fun, childish snow war rather than the intense Gryffindor vs. Slytherin battle. First years were skirting around the crowd nervously while 5th years were laughing in the midst of it, relieved to be able to just let go and forget the tension of studying for O.W.L.s.  
  
Giggling, Maren reached out and grabbed the backs of James and Sirius' robes (the two were standing stupidly in their original spots uncertain of what to do) and pulled them out of the tightening crowd. "That was awesome!" she gasped in between bursts of laughter. "Oooh! I wish Lily had been here! She would have loved that!"  
  
"Whoa, wait, Lily would have loved to have seen Snape get his a-" Maren gave Sirius a reproachful look, "er-butt kicked? Then why does she always give Potter such a hard time when he whips Snape?"  
  
"Lily? She hates Snape just as much as you two do,"  
  
"Then why-" James broke in.  
  
"She also hates," Maren cut him off, "People who pick on others for no reason, people like you, who hex Snape just because you can. Something like this, though, she would have loved. Just as long as she didn't know you were picking on Snape from the start. If she had come in when we had, when you two were outnumbered, she would have loved it."  
  
"She'd have reprimanded you though, if she'd finally discovered you'd started it. Like she did after you're O.W.L.s in the fifth year." The golden haired girl spoke up.  
  
"And you are.?"  
  
"Oh, sorry! I forgot to introduce you guys! Um, Sirius, James, this is Kelly Stevonson - she's in Ravenclaw - Kelly, this is James Potter and Sirius Black."  
  
"Hey," James smiled.  
  
"How do you do?" Sirius' voice had become deeper; more mature. James stared at his friend then looked back to Kelly. She's fairly attractive, he realized with a jolt. Her golden curls splayed out of her pale blue hat and down over her shoulders, standing out against her black robe. Her cheeks were rosy-red because of the cold and her ice-blue eyes blended perfectly with her winter cap. He could see why Sirius was going out of his way to impress her. Sighing, James turned towards Maren who shrugged her shoulders. Cocking her uncapped head towards the school, she silently suggested that she and James leave their friends and their budding relationship alone. Nodding his own head, James gave one last glance to Sirius and Kelly, and then followed Maren up to the castle.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	5. Fitful Slumber

************************************************************************  
  
"Mum, I'm having a great Christmas, really," Lily was talking with her mother after dinner one evening. "It's just that, well, I've been here a week already, and it's my last year at school.I, I'd just like to spend some time with my friends." She tried to break it to her mother as gently as possible. No mother likes hearing that her daughter would rather be hanging out with her friends rather than her family. "It's not that I don't want to stay here, it's just that I may never see some of these people again."  
  
"And how do you propose we get you to school? The train doesn't leave for another week." Her mother said through pursed lips.  
  
"Well, I could apparate to Hogsmead - you know, the village right outside of school - and then walk up to school."  
  
"Honey, I'd rather you walk up with someone, I don't like knowing you'd be alone."  
  
"Well, I could have Mar-" seeing the look of displeasure on her mother's face, she cast her mind around for someone else to meet her. "I could have, er, um." think Lily, think! "James! I could have James meet me and walk me back to the castle."  
  
The displeasure immediately faded from Mrs. Evans face, being replaced by one of unconcealed delight. "A boy, Lil? Who is this, this James? Why haven't you mentioned him before?"  
  
"Mu-um!" Lily blushed, "You know I don't like to draw attention to myself! Besides, he's not a boyfriend, he's just a friend."  
  
Winking, her mother replied, "of course dear."  
  
"So.I can go?" She asked tentatively.  
  
"Well, I can't interfere with true love, now, can I?"  
  
"Mum!" Lily chucked a pillow at her mother.  
  
"Alright, darling! As soon as you get word back from that friend of yours, you may go."  
  
"Thank you!" She kissed her mother's cheek then ran to her room to begin packing.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"James, looks like you've got an owl." James, Sirius, Maren, and Kelly were eating breakfast in the Great Hall when Lily's tawny owl came soaring in, circling above James, then landing gracefully in James' lap.  
  
"Hey!" Maren gasped in surprise. "That's Isis! Lily's owl! Why is she writing to you? She told me I'd be the first to know when she made up her mind!" Maren continued grumbling to herself as James unfolded the letter.  
  
"What's it say, mate?"  
  
"She wants me to meet her in Hogsmead tomorrow."  
  
Maren spat out the orange juice she'd been drinking. "WHAT?!? Sorry, Kel," she added to the disheveled Kelly who had been the victim of her OJ attack.  
  
James silently relinquished the letter to the fuming Maren.  
  
James-  
Let Maren read this letter as well, because it is not what she thinks  
it is. Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. And, as much as  
you hate me right now, I really need to as a favor - could you meet me  
in Hogsmead tomorrow December 30th? I'm going to apparate there around  
1 pm and I need someone to meet me there and walk me to the Castle.  
You see, my mom's very overprotected and she's not satisfied until a  
guy is walking with me, otherwise I'd ask Maren. And, well, if I have  
to have an escort, I'd rather it be you. Send an answer back with  
Isis, if you can't walk with me, well, just say you can so my mom  
doesn't freak or anything.  
  
Thanks,  
Lily  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? Answer her!"  
  
James grabbed the quill and parchment Maren was offering and scribbled a quick reply, still dazed that Lily had actually asked him to come, rather than asked him to sign his name in reply and just send Maren in his place. "She probably feels sorry for you, I mean, after all, you took rejection really hard." One voice spoke up in his mind, "No- maybe Maren's right.it's possible that she may like you."  
  
His thoughts occupied him through the rest of breakfast. As the foursome were leaving, Maren's copper-wires brushed James' face as she whispered, "You're going to go alone, right? Or do you want me to come as well?"  
  
"I, I think I can handle it," he said in a strangled sort of voice.  
  
Maren's face broke into a grin. "Alright! You just may get your girl yet!"  
  
************************************************************************  
  
James woke at an early hour the next morning, unable to sleep any longer. He lay in bed, anxiously anticipating the day that lay ahead of him. Glancing at his clock, James let out a groan; it was only 6:14, 6 hours and 46 minutes until Lily arrived. Rolling over he gazed out the frosted window, watching as snow blanketed the peaceful grounds that had been trampled on only days before. Restlessly, he tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to fall deep into a rested sleep, but he couldn't find the peace that he was looking for. Shaking the sleep from his eyes, James pulled his heavy body out of bed and yanked on a pair of jeans, pulling his bulky winter robes over his bare chest. Giving one more fleeting look out the window, he headed down the frozen staircases to the empty Great Hall, not knowing that across London, another 7th year was having trouble sleeping.  
  
***************  
  
Meanwhile:  
  
Lily tossed and turned under her violet comforter, fitfully wishing that she could call back the moments of rest that she lay in minutes before. Shoving her covers to the foot of her bed, Lily slipped over to the carpeted window seat her father had built for her when she was five. Her bare feet padded lightly over the violet rug as her arms moved vigorously up and down her frozen shoulders that lay blanketed by her flannel nightgown. Wrapping her arms around her knees, Lily curled into a ball on the window seat, peering out at the city below. It had taken her most of the week to get used to sleeping in her room again. She had lay in her room, missing the heavy breathing of her fellow 7th year girls, the hooting of owls and swishing of their wings in the darkened sky, and the occasional howl of a wolf from the forbidden forest. Instead, she was serenaded by the sounds of dogs barking, cars speeding past her frosted window, and the drunken singing and curses of neighbors strolling down the London streets. But tonight, she no longer heard the sounds of the city, instead a peculiar stillness had settled among the suburb. A thick fog covered the rooftops as wispy tendrils of mist curled through her window. She took in a deep breath as descended on her. A deep, melodic cry echoed through the sky, making Lily jump. She raised her hand to shut her Victorian windows, but something stopped her, she had heard that cry before. The familiar cry came again, followed by the swishing sound of wind meeting feathers. "Isis?" She whispered. The hooting came again, this time followed by a ball of feathers swooping through her open window. Isis gracefully dropped a letter on Lily's bed, gave her owner a loving nip on her shoulder, then flew into her open cage, tucking her head beneath her wing.  
  
"Hello to you too," Lily shook her head then turned to her bed where the letter was waiting.  
  
Lily-  
  
I'd love to meet you in Hogsmeade tomorrow. We've all missed you very  
much. Maren was planning on coming as well, but something came up and  
she'll have to stay at the castle, so it'll just be me. I hope that's  
okay. I'll be waiting for you.  
  
Your Friend,  
James Potter  
  
"That'll do for Mum!" She grinned, "That Potter does have class, I must admit, he does have class." And with that, she crawled back under her covers, wondering if he would actually show up or if he'd leave her stranded in the icy streets of Hogsmeade.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
At quarter to 1, James meandered down the twisted dirt path to Hogsmeade, mentally recalling the suggestions that Maren had imprinted in his mind.  
  
Leave early so that you arrive before she does Keep the conversation going so she doesn't feel awkward Offer to carry her trunk for her Give her a hug  
  
The fourth suggestion weighed heavy in his mind. Give her a hug. How on Earth was he ever going to pull that off? He knew that plenty of friends hugged each other; guys hugged girls they liked, and ones that were just friends. But James had never been that close to Lily, physically and emotionally. "I'll just have make sure I do the other three perfectly, then it'll be okay," he attempted to assure himself, though it didn't make him feel any better.  
  
Arriving in Hogsmeade with 5 minutes to spare, James nervously jammed his hands in his pockets and ambled up the street, window shopping along the way. Passing Quality Quidditch Supplies, Zonko's Joke Shop, and Honeydukes, James made his way up to the "Shrieking Shack". He smiled as he gazed at the torn house, pleased that he was one of the few that knew the secret behind its name. As he gazed at the dilapidated building, he heard a faint "pop" behind him.  
  
"Hullo Lily," he turned to face her.  
  
She smiled in return, her cheeks red with the cold, or was it? Was it possible that Lily Potter was blushing with pleasure to see him? "Hi, James,"  
  
"Well, uh.you ready?"  
  
"I guess,"  
  
As she turned to begin walking he extended his hand, "Would you like me to carry your trunk?"  
  
She stared at him, not bothering to hide her surprise, "So when did you become such a gentleman?" She teased.  
  
He his cheeks flushed as he took the bag from her hands, leaving her with an extra arm in which to carry Isis' cage. "Maren never was coming, was she?" Lily turned her almond-shaped green eyes towards his.  
  
"No," he answered simply.  
  
"Why'd you write that anyways? And.why were you so nice? I was sure you were going to write something about, you know, our fight." she trailed off.  
  
"Well, I know mum's, they want to know that they're child has lots of friends and I knew your mum was going to read the letter, so I didn't write anything that might worry her. And I figured, well, since you hadn't written asking me to just write the reply and send Maren in my place, I figured you wouldn't mind if I showed up on my own."  
  
They walked up the stone steps to the castle, pausing their conversation as they breathed heavily from the strain. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, Lily rounded on James, standing between him and the castle doors. "James, I'm so sorry..I never meant to hurt you, I didn't know.I mean, I thought you were always teasing, I never thought you were actually serious when you asked me to go out with you..I never ever thought that..I mean, you..a-and me.it's just.."  
  
James was about to retort with a cruel remark when he noticed tears streaming down her face. "Lily," he started, horrified, "Lily, shh, it's ok, Lily don't cry!" He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close so that her head rested on his shoulder. "Lily, please don't cry." He glanced around, hoping to glimpse someone who could help him as he rocked her back and forth, whispering soothing words to her. As he looked back down at her, he realized with a jolt that he had fulfilled Maren's last requirement: he had given Lily a hug.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	6. Friend or Foe

************************************************************************  
  
James walked down the empty corridor in his tear-soaked robes, completely oblivious to the world around him as he relived the afternoon's events over and over in his mind. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't realize that he was no longer alone in the hallway.  
  
"I've got you right where I want you, Potter." A cold voice whispered.  
  
James whirled around, whipping out his wand, to face Snape. "Expelliarmus!!!" He roared.  
  
But he was too late, "Protego!" James wand flew out of his hand, sending him spiraling through the air. "Impedimenta!" James froze just inches from the ground as Snape murmured the word. Snape laughed a horridly, a sneer growing on his face. "How'd you like that, Potter? A taste of you own medicine. But just you wait; I'm not finished with you yet, not even close."  
  
The curse began to wear off, but as James hit the ground he groaned, "Rictusempra!"  
  
Snape fell to his knees, doubled up in laughter as James dashed to his side and grabbed his wand out of Snape's clenched fist. Pointing his own wand at James, he muttered in-between bouts of laughter, "P-petri-petrificus To- totalus!"  
  
James fell to the floor, rigid as a board, locked in the body-bind curse. As the tickling curse began to wear off, Snape rose to his feet and pointed his wand at James. Muttering incantations under his breath causing gashes to appear on James face, sending blood spurting onto the shining floor. "Like that, Potter? Like being the helpless victim? It's nothing more than what you deserve, you arrogant," blast "stuck-up," blast "worthless," blast "Quidditch freak." He aimed his wand at James' head, only to pull it away when voices echoed down the corridor. Scowling he gave a few swift kicks to James' side and strode down the hall, leaving his prey helpless on the floor.  
  
James lay their, futilely struggling against the invisible bonds. "Please," he prayed, "Please let the voices turn down this corridor, don't let them continue down the hall." Sure enough, the voices became louder and louder as they approached James' mangled form. When a scream pierced the still air, James breathed a word of thanks, and then slipped out of consciousness.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Sirius! SIRIUS!" Lily's frantic voice filled the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"What is it this time, Evans?"  
  
"Sirius..James..Hospital wing..unconscious.." she gasped.  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
Maren stepped forward. "Sirius, some third year girls found James on their way to lunch, he was lying on the floor, unconscious, locked by the body- bind curse with gashes in his face and blood on the floor. Madam Pomfrey thinks he was in a duel, but no one knows because he hasn't wakened yet."  
  
"It was Snape, I know it was," Sirius bolted towards the door as the girls trailed behind him. Storming into the Hospital Wing he yelled, "Madam Pomfrey!"  
  
"Hush! I have sleeping patients!" She reprimanded him with a look of disregard.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey," Sirius hardly bothered to lower his voice, "we want to see James."  
  
"Mr. Potter is still unconscious," she surveyed the group with a look of distrust, then seeing the tearstains on Lily's face, she sighed. "Alright, but only for a few moments."  
  
"Thank you," Lily murmured, moving towards the bed. She hesitated when she saw that curtains had been drawn around the bed.  
  
Sirius, on the other hand, ignored the curtains and strode in. "Hey Potter, you decent?"  
  
Maren walked in after him, dragging an anxious Lily. "Hey James," she whispered.  
  
"I can't believe he let Snape do this to him," Sirius spat out, clearly disgusted.  
  
"Maybe he didn't have a choice,"  
  
"Maren, James can handle Snape,"  
  
"Snape would have killed him if he had had the chance; those girls showing up were the only thing that stopped him."  
  
A horrified gasp came from the shadows where Lily was standing.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes, "You have no idea what he's capable of,"  
  
"Hey, I've seen him in action,"  
  
"Not as much as I have," turning his attention away from Maren, he murmured to James, "I can't believe he did this to you, you think he'd have shown some mercy, after all, you did save his life."  
  
"What?" Maren piped up.  
  
"Nothin'" Sirius replied coolly.  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"Uh, let me think about that, no."  
  
"C'mon" she wheedled.  
  
"Oh gawd, take it outside you two!" Lily shoved the arguing pair out of the curtains, leaving just her and James. "Oh, James!" She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
His eyelids fluttered, "Lily?"  
  
"Hey," she smiled. "You're awake."  
  
"Where am I?" He asked groggily.  
  
"Hospital wing, what happened? Madam Pomfrey thinks you were in a duel."  
  
"Oh God, where's Snape?" He groaned.  
  
Her expression harden, "So it was Snape, was it? What, did you start picking on him again? Well, you certainly got what you deserved-"  
  
"No!" he cut her off, "You don't understand, I was walking in the hall, Snape snuck up behind me and attacked me, I tried to disarm him, but he was too quick. He put the body-bind curse on me, blasted gashes in my face, then kicked me in the side." He winced in pain and in embarrassment. Lily could tell it was hard for him to admit his defeat to her. "The last thing I remember was someone screaming, and then, I was here."  
  
"James, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I accused you," her face softened as more tears welled up in her eyes.  
  
"It's not your fault, I would have said the same thing," he took in a sharp breath.  
  
"James, I'm sorry about before as well, is it, I mean, I understand if you can't, but, is it possible that you could ever forgive me for what I said?"  
  
"Lily, I forgave you the moment I walked away from you, it's impossible to stay mad at an angel." He went on as her cheeks began to match her hair, "It was stupid for me to think it would ever work out, it was more my fault than yours." He gave out a small cry; the effort from talking was taking toll on his pained chest.  
  
"Oh! It's hurting you to talk! This is all my fault, I should go."  
  
"No," his hand grabbed a fistful of her robes. "Please, don't go, I understand if you want to be somewhere else, but," he gave her a sheepish grin, "I don't want to be alone."  
  
She smiled, "Would you rather Sirius come in instead?"  
  
"No, I mean, if you want to go you can, but I'd rather it be you that stayed."  
  
"Shh, don't talk; I'll stay, as long as you promise to sleep." He nodded, then closed his eyes, falling into a peaceful sleep that she was sure he deserved.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Miss Evans," Madam Pomfrey gently shook Lily's shoulder, "Miss Evans, you should return to your dormitory now."  
  
Lily opened her drowsy eyes and watched as Madam Pomfrey changed James' bandages for the third time. Most of his wounds had healed, their were no longer gashes across his cheeks, his skin was as unembellished as it had been before the attack, except for a thin scar that ran up the side of his stomach; the place that had been the brutal target of Snape's foot. That was the only wound that would never heal, that and the wound to his pride.  
  
Yawning, Lily stretched her arms above her head and rose to her feet, grabbing her belongings. "Will he be ok?"  
  
"He'll be fine, Ms. Evans, now return to your dorm."  
  
"He asked me to stay with him," she spoke hesitantly.  
  
"Miss Evans, I am completely aware of that, but you are not ill so you have no place in this wing. Now go to your dormitory or suffer the consequences."  
  
Sighing, Lily turned to leave, casting one more glance at her sleeping friend. As her eyes settled on his peaceful form, her heart fluttered. Unsure of what that could mean, she abruptly turned to leave and thankfully headed up to her dorm.  
  
************************************************************************ 


	7. Just Friends?

Just updated.sorry it's kind of short, but I'm working on it! Tell me what you think!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Classes resume tomorrow and James is still in the hospital wing! How am I supposed to survive classes without him?" Sirius complained as a tired looking Lupin stepped off the Hogwarts Express.  
  
As he opened his mouth to respond, Lupin caught a sight of unruly black hair over Sirius' shoulder. Smiling, he answered, "I don't think that we'll be a problem."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Hey, Black! Thanks for all those lousy 'Get Well' Cards!"  
  
Sirius spun around, grinning at the face of his friend. "Well, you know, I had some homework I needed to catch up on."  
  
"Yeah, right, more likely you were off with Kelly and Maren."  
  
Sirius grinned sheepishly as James turned his attention to Lupin. "Hey Remus, how was your holiday?"  
  
"Well, it just got a whole lot better," he smiled at his bandaged friend. "C'mon, let's get this stuff up to the common room, I'm exhausted." Both his friends grabbed their friend's belongings and made their way up to the Gryffindor Tower.  
  
*************  
  
Meanwhile  
  
"So where were you last night? I couldn't find you at all during the day; you had to have come back past 11 or so. Now spill." It was noon the next day and Maren was interrogated Lily about her late night.  
  
"Hm, well, I spent most of the night in the Hospital Wing.but you don't want to hear about that," she teased.  
  
"I do! Tell me! Please?" Maren pleaded.  
  
Lily's laugh rang out like thousands of tinkling bells, "Actually I have to tell you, we have a deal."  
  
Maren stared at her questioningly when an expression of understanding dawned on her face. "You don't mean-" Lily nodded, "You do?"  
  
"I think I like him, he was so sweet, talking to me last night even though it hurt for him to talk, explaining things to me, admitting things no other boy would, and," she added as an after thought, "he's so cute when he sleeps!"  
  
"I can't believe you like James Potter! Oh my gosh! He's going to be thrilled!"  
  
"Who's going to be thrilled?" A deep voice called from the entrance way.  
  
Spinning around, Maren and Lily blushed at the sight of Sirius, James, and Remus.  
  
"Hm, judging from the looks of it, they were talking about you, Remus." He laughed, "Or maybe you, boy wonder."  
  
Maren recovered first, "Actually, we were talking about you, handsome."  
  
Sirius just laughed. "In your dreams, Goldberg!"  
  
"Every night," she fluttered her eyelashes, flirting madly with him.  
  
As Maren and Sirius battled, Lily turned her attention to James. "Hey James, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Great, thanks to you and Madam Pomfrey."  
  
Lily's face turned redder than her hair, "I didn't do anything," she mumbled.  
  
"Sure you did," James grinned, completely aware of how uncomfortable he was making her.  
  
"Oh gawd," Maren rolled her eyes, "C'mon you two, let's leave them alone." She linked her arms through Sirius and Remus' then dragged them out through the picture frame.  
  
Shocked at being left alone, Lily and James stared warily at each other, neither one of them quite sure what to say.  
  
James had been fully comfortable teasing Lily while his friends were there, but now that they were alone, he didn't quite know what to say. "So.um."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
His face flushed, as did hers, as he tried to come up with something to say. "Well, thanks again.for what you did."  
  
"I really didn't do anything, it's me who should be thanking you," she whispered in reply.  
  
He looked taken aback by what she had said. "What did I do?"  
  
"You forgave me," she answered quietly. "I've never met anyone else who would have done that, after all I said." When she peered up at him, her almond eyes were full of shimmering tears.  
  
"Lily, don't cry again," James pleaded as he sank down, putting his arm around her.  
  
"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I can't help it." And she couldn't, burying her head in his chest her tears flowed more than ever, not helping his picture of her she was sure. Pulling back, she inhaled sharply. "Now you're shirts all wet." she murmured, as though it was the worst possible thing in the world - for her to have soaked his shirt.  
  
"It's okay, really, it's not like tears are going to hurt it," he joked, "it's been in worse situations."  
  
Lily laughed at his lame joke through her tears, and James noticed that the flow had started to cease. He drew in a deep breath, then let out a sigh of relief. He didn't want things to be like this between them, where they could hardly talk to each other anymore without Lily going into a fit of bottled up emotion, or him storming off in anger. Even if it meant not being together as a couple, James wished things would go back to the way they had been before, with him admiring her from afar, but still being able to crack jokes in her presence or playfully tease her when she got on his nerves.  
  
"James," Lily started hesitantly, noticing his zoned expression.  
  
'Oh, God, this is it!' He thought, 'she's going to say she "just wants to be friends" or that she can't stand being around anymore.' "Yes?" he asked, bracing himself for the brutal attack.  
  
"Did you mean what you said the other day? About rather having me there than Sirius?"  
  
Not having been the question that he had been expecting, James looked taken aback. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't."  
  
"Then you.you really do like me?" she asked, James thought he noted a bit of hope in her voice.  
  
His face flushing, James whispered, "Yeah, I really do."  
  
"Good," she whispered back, "Because I think I've fallen in love with you."  
  
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	8. Secret Treasures

I know that after my last chapter, this one is going to seem pretty lame, and I had trouble with the ending of the chapter, so it's not as good as some of the writing earlier in this story. I promise though, the next chapter will be much better! I won't post up any more worthless writing. Even after all I've said, I hope you enjoy it!  
  
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"Now, if you'll turn to your partner you can practice transforming the different objects before you into the label you see placed beneath it." McGonagall's voice trailed off as the students, anxious to be working on their own, turned excitedly to their partners.  
  
"Right, so it says here that we have to change this cup into a miniscule water fountain, so a simple Mitargio would be appropriate, right? Right, James? James?" Sirius cleared his voice and waved his hand in front of his friend's dazed face.  
  
"Sorry, what were you saying?" James asked, rather distractedly.  
  
"Well, I was thinking that if we wanted to ace this assignment and turn this cup into a water fountain we should use the Mitargio spell. What were you thinking?"  
  
"I was thinking that would work, and I was also thinking that we could take turns, you know? You do the first one, I'll do the second?" He attempted to cover-up for his attention lapse.  
  
Sirius sighed and turned back to the cup. Raising his wand above his head, he brought it down swiftly and flicked it to the right just before hitting the cup. "Mitargio!" And with a flash of turquoise lights a tiny stone fountain was standing on the table, water burbling over the top and flowing down its sides, collecting in the pebbled basin. "Your turn, mate."  
  
But James didn't seem to hear the sound of his friend's voice; he was too distracted by the image of Lily sitting across the room, giggling with Maren. 'She loves me, she really loves me.' The thought was enough to send his heart soaring. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't notice it was his turn until he felt the sharp prod of Sirius' wand in his back.  
  
"Ouch!" He yelped. Then, noticing half the class staring at him, he quickly turned his yelp into a cough. "What did you do that for?" He hissed at Sirius.  
  
"Well excuse me for keeping you out of trouble with McGonagall, what's the deal? Evans has never distracted you from class before, why now?"  
  
At the mention of Lily's name James blushed furiously, but he quickly bent his head over the next object, tea kettle that he was to transform into a turtle, and quickly read the criteria for his assignment. "Right, so, a Protilla Mitargio spell will work for this one." And he performed the spell with ease, bringing life to the kettle.  
  
Sirius sighed, knowing that he couldn't pump James for any information at the moment, and continued to work on his transfiguration. As for James, he forced himself to think of anything but Lily, and spent the rest of the period concentrating on the task before him.  
  
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"Did you see how he was looking at you during transfiguration?" Maren giggled. "Like you were some kind of god or something!" She fell into a fit of giggles as Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"Maren, drop it, ok?"  
  
Straightening up, Maren put on a serious face. "What exactly happened last night? After the rest of us left?"  
  
Lily heaved an exasperated sigh, "Maren! We've been through this already, we just talked."  
  
"That's all?"  
  
"Yes," she stated firmly. Then, as if it had only just occurred to her, "What happened to you three after you left us last night?"  
  
She shrugged, "Not much."  
  
"Maren, I've known you too long to believe that. You've been in love with Lupin since our third year, something happened."  
  
Maren gaped at her. "How did you know I like Remus?"  
  
"Puh-lease, I'm your best friend, I've been hanging out with you since we ran into each other on the Hogwarts express. You flirt with every guy except for Remus, you tease and taunt every guy except for Remus, you purposely flirt with Black whenever you're in front of Remus. How much more obvious could you get? You're the opposite of every normal girl, OW!" Lily shrieked in pain as Maren swatted her with her bag. "What was that for?"  
  
"For being a smart-alecky know-it-all and for talking to loudly." She stated smugly.  
  
Lily laughed and playfully shoved her friend. "Like you haven't been on my case everyday since Halloween about James?"  
  
"What are friends for?" Maren smiled toothily at her.  
  
"For information," Lily prompted, "C'mon, tell me what happened with you and Lupin, please!" She stuck out her lower lip, pouting like she had done when she was a child.  
  
Maren laughed, "You should see your face, I pity who ever falls for that pathetic pout!"  
  
Lily joined in her laughing, "That would be my parents, they've bought it since I was three."  
  
"Poor misguided people," Maren feigned a pained expression.  
  
"Hey!" Lily laughed, playfully smacking her friend's shoulder. "Those are my parents you're talking about!"  
  
"Yes," Maren spoke gravely, "and they have you to thank for their misguided actions."  
  
"No, they have me to thank for not forcing them to live a painful live with Petunia as an only child." Lily had meant the comment to come out lightly, but Maren could detect a faint hint of disgust in her words.  
  
Maren opened her mouth to speak but before she could utter a word they're ears were filled with the din of the other students' chatter. Glancing around, Maren nodded her head to the end of the Gryffindor table, "Looks like there are two seats open by the boys."  
  
Lily's heart jumped as her gaze settled on the two opened seats, one next to Lupin, and the other just across from it, next to James. Trying to conceal her delight, she coolly sauntered over to the table, accompanied by Maren, and asked, "Mind if we sit down?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "Alright with me, you three?"  
  
Peter nodded shyly, while Remus smiled with a simple "yes" and James shrugged, attempting to act as cool as Lily, but he could not conceal the pleasure that was flooding through his face.  
  
"Thanks," Maren smiled, once again flashing her pearly white grin as she took the seat next to Remus. Lily merely rolled her eyes at Maren's coquettish behavior, and gracefully placed herself in the seat next to James, brushing his arm with the sleeve of her robe as she did so.  
  
James felt a shiver run up his spine as her robe brushed against his. It was silly, he knew, but it was the closest contact he could have with her. Though she had said that she loved him, no one else knew what had gone on between the two of them in the common room. Sure, all they had done was talk, but for some reason, James didn't want anyone to know the few words they had exchanged. No, he didn't mind telling people that they had talked about their classes, about their past, their feelings towards many things, but those few words about they're feelings toward each other was something that he wanted to keep to himself. He wanted to cherish those words like many people would cherish gold, and at this moment, he didn't want to share his treasure with anyone.  
  
"James?"  
  
"Hm?" He looked up to see the rest of the group staring at him. "Sorry, did I miss something?"  
  
"Yeah, while you're head was in the clouds you missed our transfiguration lesson and now you're dazing away through our conversation, what is-"  
  
"We were talking about how we should all get together for the next Hogsmeade trip," Remus broke in, interrupting the annoyed Sirius who merely stared furiously at him.  
  
"Next trip? Sounds cool, so that would be on." James did some mental calculations. "February 14th."  
  
"Valentines Day," Lily finished for him.  
  
"Which of course is why we should all hook up," Maren stated, "It will be like a triple date."  
  
Lily and James stared dumbfounded at Maren and Remus, but Sirius looked as though the news was nothing new to him.  
  
"What exactly happened the other night?" James questioned.  
  
Both Remus and Maren blushed, but neither of them said anything. When Lily turned to Sirius and Kelly they both shrugged.  
  
"Its not like it should come as that big of a surprise to you," Sirius offered, "James, you knew that Remus fancied Maren and Lily clearly knew that the feeling was mutual."  
  
"But still-"  
  
"Look, the fact is, Sirius and Kelly are together, we're together," Maren smiled at Remus, "and you too are clearly together, so if the guys want to hang out together but still want to be with their girlfriends on Valentines day, this seems like the obvious thing to do."  
  
Lily glanced at James; James glanced at Lily, both of them shrugged.  
  
"Do you want to go?" He murmured softly into Lily's ear.  
  
Feeling her heart flutter at the feel of his breath against her cheek, she simply muttered, "If you do."  
  
Turning back to his friends, James shrugged, "Sure, when do we meet?"  
  
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	9. Conflicting Emotions

A/N: Wow, it's been about 5 months since I last updated, I'm so sorry about that, my muse seems to have left me. Well, I was reading through and I would really like to continue this fic, so if I get at least one review, I'll consider keeping it up. I'm really sorry about the long delay, and I apologize for this being such a short chapter, but please take the time to review!  
  
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Wind biting at his already numb face, James fled down the stairs retreating from the castle. He was late; he should have been at The Three Broomsticks nearly five minutes ago, and here he was just leaving the castle. 'What if Lily thinks I stood her up?' the horrified thought entered James' mind, and he picked up his speed, sprinting down into the village. 'Wait, no, slow down! You don't want to be all sweaty,' he abruptly slowed to a casual walk as he entered the frozen village, trying to maintain his cool composure.  
  
Upon reaching the Three Broomsticks, James paused, checking his reflection in the window, then sauntered inside, trying to look flustered, apologetic, and calm all at once; and failing. Glancing around the crowded room, he found the 5 friends sitting around a round table, each one periodically checking their watch. Rushing over, James quickly spilled out his excuse, "Sorry I'm late, but Drake insisted on an extra Quidditch practice, and threatened to kick me off the team if I didn't come, and well...." he trailed off, the other 5 staring at him. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Sirius and Remus rose from the table, smiling at the girls, "We'll get drinks, do the three of you want Butterbeers?" They nodded, "Alright, we'll be right back." The two boys grabbed James' arms and steered him away from the table up to the counter where Madam Rosmerta was busily taking orders. Her frustrated expression brightened when her gaze landed on the three boys. "Ah! My favorite customers! What can I do for you three? The usual?"  
  
"Actually, we'd like six Butterbeers..."  
  
"Six? Don't tell me the infamous trio is here with others!" Sirius' face grew red as he tried to keep his gaze from flicking over to the table of girls.  
  
Following the boys' spastic glances at the girls, Madam Rosmerta giggled and put on a face of mock shock. "Don't tell me you three actually have dates! Well, I expect its time; after all, girls have been coming in here mooning over you three forever." All three of the boys blushed awkwardly under her playful teasing, even though they knew she was mainly talking about the many girls whose hearts Sirius had managed to break. "So, who are the lucky girls?"  
  
Remus cleared his throat, glancing nervously at the other two before calmly answering, "Well, I'm here with Maren Goldberg, Sirius is with Kelly Stevonson, and James is with Lily Evans . . ."  
  
Madam Rosmerta gave a titter of surprise, "Not the crowd I'd ever have pictured you three with. Hopefully those girls will shape you up a bit." She smiled at the blushing boys as she handed them their order, "I've got work to get back to, you three take care, you hear?"  
  
The boys nodded, thanking her for the drinks, and then quickly evacuated the crowded bar, hurrying back to the table where their girlfriends sat. Taking their seats and passing around the Butterbeer, the six launched into an animated conversation about the latest Quidditch game, egging on a play- by-play description by James with commentaries added in by the other two boys.  
  
As the conversation slowly tapered off, James leaned back in his chair, observing his friends as though he were an outsider, not someone who had known them for the past 7 years. Sirius sprawled out in his chair, like one who was kept in a space to small, his dark hair fell over his opaque eyes with a casual elegance. He had booming laughter that filled the room with his mirth, laughter that James had been part of for the greater part of his life. Next to him, Kelly sat primly on the edge of her spindly chair, her golden curls spilling over her straightened shoulders, her bell- like laughter echoing throughout the room. Remus, the quieter one in the group, sat straight in his chair like an eager school boy, his tattered robes clinging to his thin body. But what he was lacking in looks he easily made up with his intelligence. Copper-wire hair rippling as she laughed, Maren sat bent over on the edge of her chair, clinging to every word as though her life depended on it. She was an outgoing girl, James could have seen it without ever having spoken to her, and she brought life to the girls' side of the group. Last of all, there was Lily, her flaming red hair cascading down her shoulders in a shimmering veil as she giggled appreciatively with the other girls. Her incandescent green eyes shone out like two pools of liquid light, smiling upon James. Sitting their, James was so captivated by her beauty that he didn't even notice the lapse in the conversation that the girls seemed to have commandeered.  
  
Sirius nudged James, causing him to choke on his Butterbeer. "What?" He sputtered. But Sirius only tilted his head towards the doorway so as not to alert the chatting girls. Following Sirius' gaze, James' eyes landed on the sneering face at the door. Blood pounded in James' ears, his breathing became harsh and deliberate, and his knuckles were white from the force on which his hand squeezed the glass bottle. "Snape," the name was poison on his tongue. He pushed his back his chair, prepared to fight, but a cold hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.  
  
"James," Remus whispered, "you really think that Lily's going to be glad if you fight? Snape is not worth losing her."  
  
Relaxing his tense muscles, James shook his head as though to clear his thoughts. "Thanks, Remus."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
James slouched back in his seat, now may not be the time, but Snape could not evade James' wrath forever. The sniveling pallid boy had physically and mentally tormented James, he had made of fool of the highly respected Quidditch star, and James was not about to let that go unnoticed. Sooner or later, James would get his revenge.  
  
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	10. Under the Crescent Moon

A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Radiion-hobbitwarrior who gave me that one review I needed to continue ^_^, and to number1princess who was constantly reading the fic until my bout of writer's block. Much thanks to both of you!!!  
  
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Gazing up at the starry sky, Lily Evans sat on one of the many gilded window seats in the Gryffindor common room. Her tangled red hair spilled over silky green pajamas that matched her glittering green eyes. It had been a long day, a wonderful day, the best Valentine's day she could ever remember having in her lifetime; by all rights she should be fast asleep, dreaming of the charming James Potter – and yet, sleep would not come.  
  
"Beautiful, isn't it?" A voice, one that only weeks ago Lily had dreaded, murmured from the shadows, causing the redhead to emit a startled gasp.  
  
James stepped forth from the shadows, bestowing a solemn smile on his blushing girlfriend.  
  
Having always been quick to collect herself, Lily answered passionately, "The stars? Yeah, it's funny, I've always been fascinated by stars, even after learning the source of their luminescence in astronomy . . . I'm still completely captivated by the magic they seem to hold."  
  
Grin broadening at the logical rationalist turned hopeless romantic, James leaned closer, his breath tickling her ear as he whispered, "I wasn't talking about the stars."  
  
Lily's cheeks flamed, glowing the same color as her radiant hair. Almond eyes dancing in merriment, James gestured for her to move over, allowing him to join her on the red velvet cushion. Staring into Lily's incandescent eyes, James felt his heart skip a beat, butterflies beating their gossamer wings against his stomach. If Cassandra, the great seer herself, had told him only days ago that on this night, the most romantic night of the year, he'd be sharing it with the girl of his dreams, James wouldn't have hesitated in suggestion she should visit St. Mungo's. But here he was, sitting hand-in-hand, stargazing with Lily Evans.  
  
Breaking the heavy silence, James quietly questioned, "Did you have a good time today, Lil?"  
  
A heart-melting smile broke across Lily's face, "The best I've had so far this year," she peered up at him through her dark lashes.  
  
"Really?"  
  
She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Would I lie to you?" She asked in a voice, so purely innocent, that James had to laugh along with her.  
  
As their laughter slowly began to fade, James nervously fumbled with something inside his robes, drawing Lily's attention away from the stars and back to him. Realizing she was staring at him with overtly curious eyes, James felt the heat rise in his cheeks as he met her gaze. Pulling his hand out from inside his midnight black robes, he slowly uncurled his fingers for a tantalizing effect, until his object of pursuit lay open in his palm.  
  
Letting out a gasp of surprise, Lily stared in amazement at the unscathed origami lily lying in his calloused palm.  
  
"I'm sorry I was late this afternoon," he whispered as he handed her the perfect folding. "And I'm sorry I couldn't give this to you early, but with Sirius and them around . . ." he trailed off, afraid that Lily would think him conceited for worrying about his reputation, but the girl just stared in awe as she lifted a silver chain up from amongst the paper petals. Dangling from her emerald painted nails was a silver chain supporting a crescent moon, a tiny heart-shaped emerald embedded in the gleaming metal.  
  
"Go ahead," he murmured, clearly enjoying every bit of the shocked pleasure shown on her now scarlet face. "Open it."  
  
She glanced curiously at him, but James just nodded to the pendant. On closer inspection, Lily noticed it wasn't a pendant at all, but a moon- shaped locket. Pressing the small of her forefinger against the clasp, desperately trying not to leave fingerprints on the clean surface, she triggered the lock, popping the locket open. Sliding her nail between the two sides, Lily almost dropped the necklace in surprise as James' voice resonated from inside, his smooth voice declaring, "I love you, Lily."  
  
Tears glistening in her eyes, Lily stared speechlessly at James as though seeing him for the first time. James noted, with some satisfaction, that for once he had rendered her speechless and not the other way around.  
  
Knowing all too well how it felt to have nothing to say, James quickly came to Lily's rescue, removing the chain from where it had become intertwined in her fingers. "See, I've put a spell on it so that it will repel finger marks, so you won't have to worry about cleaning it." He stumbled over his words, realizing that she was appraising him each and every moment and that this was his one chance to prove his worth. "And every time you open it, it says something different, see?" He hastily demonstrated it for her, his fingers trembling as he placed it back in her hands. "Do you hate it?"  
  
Regaining her composure, Lily smiled at him, removed her hand from his, and fastened the chain around her neck. "I love it," she whispered. And she leaned forward, her ruby lips touching his quivering ones, sealing the end of their perfect Valentine's Day.  
  
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A/N: I have a feeling this chapter was a bit out there compared to my past chapters, but my muse felt like I needed a nice chapter between Lily and James. I hope you all liked it! Remember, reviews are what keep me going! 


	11. Pure Enmity

A/N: Sorry for the major delay, but soccer's been taking up more of my time than I anticipated. I hope you all like this chapter~ it's extra long for you all!  
  
Child-of-Scorpio: Thanks for the sweet review! It's great to know someone's been reading this from the beginning! I hope this chapter is as satisfying as the last~  
  
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One windy evening towards the end of February, a heavy snowfall had confined the Hogwarts' students into the castle for what seemed like an eternity. Imprisoned in their own common room, the Marauders and two of their girlfriends lounged about in a zombie-like state of boredom. Remus and Maren lay curled up in front of a roaring fire – so kindly prepared by the ever-helpful house elves – whispering back and forth to each other, Maren's copper-wire curls brushing against Remus' pale cheeks.  
  
Sirius was sprawled out in a gilded arm-chair, possibly the unhappiest of the group, his eyes skimming "Quidditch through the Ages" while attempting to block out Peter's mindless chatter. His eyes lazily flickered from the book across the room to where a group of giggling sixth year girls was staring avidly at him, admiring his handsome form. Normally, this would have pleased him immensely, but he was currently missing his own girl – as Kelly was similarly confined to the Ravenclaw common room, hopefully ignoring the hungry glances of eager boys and dreaming of Sirius.  
  
The aforementioned Peter – the only Marauder without a girlfriend – was sitting with his plump back against the elegantly curved feet of Sirius' chair, eagerly jabbering on with his take on the past day. It never registered to the often ignored boy that no one was paying him the least bit of attention.  
  
Hair veiling her concentration, Lily bent over one of the room's many desks, quill scratching furiously at a chart of the heavens. Biting her lip as she surveyed the astronomical chart, suddenly breaking into a fit of unrestrained giggles as a wand prodded her side. "James!" She whispered furiously to the boy net to her who looked equally engrossed in his work.  
  
Glancing up at the sound of his name, James turned two widely innocent almond eyes on Lily, "Yes, Lily?"  
  
"Stop it!" she hissed, trying to keep an exuberant smile off her face.  
  
"Stop what?" he blinked his yes at her, sending Lily into another fit of giggles as she turned her attention back to her homework, only to be disturbed by another prod in her side. "James!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Lily rolled her eyes, bending back over her work, her hair shielding her shifting green eyes from her relentless attacker. As James brought his wand to her side once more, Lily's hand shot out, wrenching the mahogany wand from his grasp. "James-" she warned.  
  
"Lily?" he blinked, giving her his best pout.  
  
"James,"  
  
"Lily,"  
  
"James!"  
  
"Lily!"  
  
"Ja-" she was cut off by James' mouth on hers, turning her exasperated yelp into a divine kiss.  
  
Pulling away from the intoxicating kiss, Lily glared at James, "You know, you can't just do that every time you're in trouble."  
  
"Aw," he teased, staring at her with saucer-wide puppy-dog eyes. "But it works so well!"  
  
"Oh, shut it!" She smacked him playfully before returning back to her prolonged homework.  
  
As the head boy and girl focused on finishing their homework, a tense silence filled the room, the same strange silence that filled the static air in the lull before a storm. The silence, however, was broken by a tearful prefect streaking in through the portrait.  
  
"Lily, Lily!" she moaned, skidding to a halt before the table.  
  
"Amanda? What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know!" the fifth year wailed between choked breaths. "I was walking back from the library and-and, two Sly-slytherins ju-jumped me!" Lily could see James' face contorting into a scowl in the corner of her eye, but she could not afford to deal with him now. She forced her attention back to the weepy Amanda. "Pr-professor McGonagall stopped them and took me to the hospital w-wing. D-dumbledore c-came in to see me and I heard him t-talking to McGonagall and he said," the girl's curly-brown hair bobbed up and down as she took a deep breath, calming her frazzled nerves. "He said that this wouldn't be the first of such attacks, that this was only the beginning, and then, then he came in and asked me to get you and the head boy; he wants to see you two right away!" A triumphant smile crawled across the girl's visage, taking place of the grief-stricken one that had been there only moments ago.  
  
Lily exchanged worried glances with James, murmuring, "Thanks, Amanda." The fifth year nodded, and then scampered off to a circle of equally attractive girls, no doubt to tell them all about her past ordeal.  
  
"Well, shall we go then?" Lily questioned, shakily pushing her astronomy homework aside.  
  
James rose to his feet, taking the hand of his trembling girlfriend. "I guess we better."  
  
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"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore nodded, dark circles under his electric blue eyes, causing Lily to wonder when the last time was that he had gotten a decent night's sleep. "I'm sorry if anything Miss Banks (A/N: Amanda) said alarmed you, for that was not my intention. I'm assuming by your expressions that she overheard more than Professor McGonagall and I intended her to?" After a confirming nod from James, Dumbledore sighed, his eyes trailing from the two pupils before him to the alert eyes of previous headmasters that lined his office walls. "As Head Boy and Girl I thought you should be the first to know that what happened to Miss Banks this evening is only the beginning of such attacks." He paused, as if to add dramatic effect, while James leaned forward impatiently in his chair, a perplexed look masking his pale visage.  
  
"Professor, if I may ask-" he was cut off as Dumbledore raised his hand, beckoning silence.  
  
"You were about to ask for me to be more clear, were you not?" Withered fingers massaged a wrinkled brow, "This may be hard for you to comprehend, as it is often hard to understand why you should fear something that seems to have no effect on your daily lives, but as two of the brightest students in this school, I simply ask you to try." When they nodded in consent, Dumbledore proceeded. "As you may have heard, the Dark Lord known as Lord Voldemort is quickly rising to power in the Wizarding World. He has several, shall we say, persuasive methods when it comes to recruiting followers. As you know, he appears to have an inexplicable hatred for muggles and muggle-borns." His piercing eyes steadily held Lily's gaze, impressed by her determined composure despite the trepidation evident in her eyes. "Several of our, less impressive, students feel that Voldemort's rise into power allows them to openly express their opinions on such matters. As you well know, Amanda Banks has two fairly important parents in the muggle world." He sighed, his posture sagging slightly as though a great weight had been lifted off him and only now was he noticing the loss of energy. "I hope, that under your influence and mine we can help to prevent these attacks, but until that day comes, I ask for you two to keep your eyes open more than usual and to report any insubordination immediately to me or Professor McGonagall, understood?"  
  
Beginning to feel like the bobble-headed toys muggle children play with, Lily and James nodded once more, rising in their dismissal. Once out of the safety of the headmaster's office, Lily turned her luminescent eyes on James, face full to the brim with consternation.  
  
Knowing that no words were necessary, James simply took her in his arms, folding her into a hug, kissing the crown of her silken head before pulling out of the embrace.  
  
Interlacing her fingers in his, they set off down the darkened hall, proceeding to their dorms. They'd made it as far as the intricately woven tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy foolishly trying to train trolls for the ballet when a bout of raucous laughter broke out from around the corridor. "Slytherins," James hissed disgustedly. Then, casting a nervous glance at Lily, he began to pace back and forth before the polished wall, a look of deep concentration masking his fear.  
  
"James?" Lily questioned, staring incredulously at the boy, "What the heck are you doing?"  
  
"Shh!" he hushed her as a brass doorknob appeared on the polished wood frame. Yanking the door open, he shoved Lily inside, whispering, "Don't make a sound!"  
  
"But, where, how-?" Lily mused in silent wonder as James shoved her inside, bringing the door to a muffled close just as the band of Slytherins rounded the corner.  
  
"Oi! Potter!" A burly, greasy-haired 7th year with a malicious glint in his stone gray eyes bumped forcefully into the wiry head-boy. "Sorry 'bout that, I didn't see ya there!" His words slurred together and James thought he could detect the distinct smell of fire whiskey on the boy's breath.  
  
"Hertz, Macnair, Avery," James stated coldly, nodding to each one in turn. "Don't you think it's a bit late to be wandering the halls?"  
  
"Ah, but that's the beauty of it, ain't it?" Macnair laughed, clearly unaware of what he was saying. "You never know who you might catch unawares."  
  
James shot a piercing glare as they broke into another round of laughter, exchanging perverted gestures. "You three might want to return to your dormitories, unless, that is, you would prefer if I alerted the headmaster to the fact that three of his upperclassmen were illegally drinking."  
  
Laughter dying on their lips, the three Slytherins gaped at him, before shaking their heads in disbelief and sauntering down to the Slytherin common room.  
  
Once he was certain they were secured in their dorms, James turned his attention to his neglected girlfriend. Lily was sitting cross-legged in the middle of what looked like a miniature library. Books lined mahogany shelves on every side of the deep, cerulean painted wall. A soft, royal blue afghan was draped elegantly over her small shoulders, contrasting beautifully with the silken red hair that lay across it.  
  
"Lil?" James' sweet voice drifted to her ears.  
  
Looking up from her latest endeavor into "The Blue Willow Plate", Lily's complacent smile contorted into a perplexed frown. "You've got a lot of explaining to do, Potter."  
  
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"It's called the Room of Requirement," James spoke less than an hour later as he and Lily patrolled the halls on McGonagall's orders (they had informed her of the drunken Slytherins) "Sirius and I found it quite by accident when we were trying to hide from Filch our first year." He didn't elaborate on the subject, "It's only there when you really need it, and when it is, it's filled with whatever you need at that moment. Like tonight, it was filled with books to keep you occupied while I dealt with the Slytherins."  
  
"Why did you shove me in there in the first place?" She asked coldly. "It's not like I couldn't have handled them! I've taken on guys worse than them before."  
  
"Lils," James heaved an exasperated sigh, stopped in his path, and turned her to face him, "I know you can, but did you listen to anything Dumbledore said? Amanda Banks was a muggle-born, as are you. I know Amanda, she has top-marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts and even she couldn't cope with their hatred of muggle-borns." He stared soulfully into her emerald eyes, "I don't want to see you hurt."  
  
As touched as she was by this sentiment, Lily could not bite back the saucy retort, "Thanks, but I can handle myself."  
  
Knowing that even he could not compete with her persistent determination, James capitulated, admitting his defeat. The couple strolled in tranquil silence until a hoarse voice froze them in their places, dripping with enough enmity to chill the blood in Lily's veins, sending involuntary shivers down her spine.  
  
"Mudblood."  
  
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A/N: Dun dun dun~ I know I promised James' revenge in this chapter . . . but it just wasn't flowing well enough, and I thought I'd leave you here in suspense *evil laughter* This is by far the longest chapter I've written so far, so enjoy it while it lasts! I've got soccer practices 'till 6 ever night, then our end of the quarter projects, and after that SPRING BREAK!!! So it may be awhile before the next chapter is up. Hopefully I'll get it up before the end of this week so as not to leave you all hanging!  
  
See the pretty button in the corner? You just knoooooooooow you want to push it . . . right? The more reviews I get, the faster I post! 


	12. BitterSweet Revenge

A/N: This chapter is only going up because I PROMISED kuliogirl that I'd have it in the past chapter *guilty look* since I didn't include it then, I figured I'd better include it before I left for Spring Break. So you can all bow down to the almighty Kuliogirl for giving you this chapter!  
  
Kuliogirl: Here it is, as promised! I hope it's satisfying enough for you, if not you can always pummel me at school tomorrow! ^_~  
  
~*~*~  
  
Previously in "Wishful Thinking" (a/n: hehe don't I sound like one of those TV Announcers?)  
  
As touched as she was by this sentiment, Lily could not bite back the saucy retort, "Thanks, but I can handle myself."  
  
Knowing that even he could not compete with her persistent determination, James capitulated, admitting his defeat. The couple strolled in tranquil silence until a hoarse voice froze them in their places, dripping with enough enmity to chill the blood in Lily's veins, sending involuntary shivers down her spine.  
  
"Mudblood."  
  
~*~*~  
  
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James whirled around, cloak swirling furiously, mahogany wand outstretched, pointing directly at the heart of Severus Snape.  
  
An insidious smile curled on Snape's snarling lips as he twirled his own hickory wand over in his bony fingers. "Potter," he taunted menacingly, "Mudblood," he turned the word over in his mouth, savoring its bitter edge, before spitting it out in contempt at a very pale Lily.  
  
"Snivellus," she answered coldly, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a quivering voice, though the tightening of her grasp on James' hand did not go unnoticed by either of the boys.  
  
"Take. That. Back!" James hissed, seething in rage.  
  
"What?" Snape asked innocently, his smirk widening, "the truth?" He paused, relishing in their reactions, perfectly aware that as Head Students they wouldn't dare attack him. "You know," he started somewhat conversationally, despite the malice that lined his voice. "She's the one they're all after. You're a disgrace to your kind, Potter. How your parents must feel, knowing their pureblood son is dating a mudblood . . . why, if you were a Black you'd be disowned!"  
  
"That's enough, Snape!" Lily broke in, noticing the fury boiling in James' eyes. "Shouldn't you be in your dorm?"  
  
"I don't take orders from a Mudblo-" Snape was cut off by a purple flash illuminating the hallway.  
  
"Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's not polite to call people names?" James stated coolly, "I think we need to wash those dirty words off your forked tongue. Scourgify!"  
  
Soap suds filled the air, their iridescent surface reflecting the torches' flickering lights, as a coarse brush scrubbed roughly in Snape's gaping mouth.  
  
Staring in wonder at a single, perfect, purple bubble that played with her reflection, Lily took no notice of Snape until the bubble, crossing her eyes, popped on her delicate nose. Jolting out of her trance by the sudden contact, Lily swore under her breath, quickly muttering the spell that could undo James' curse. "Return to your dorm, Snape." She ordered before turning on her heel, dragging James down the hall with her.  
  
"I don't think so, Mudblood," he spluttered, gagging on the soap that had slithered down his throat. "Petrificus Totalus!" The curse was emitted before Lily had even turned around. Lily, rigid as a board, fell to the ground, a resounding crack filling the corridor as her head made contact with the stone floor.  
  
"You. Filthy. Piece. Of. Scum!" James roared, turning his wand on Snape. "Expelliarmus!" Snape's grimy wand flew from his hands into James'. "Sagittalia!" Invisible arrows shot from James' wand, pinning Severus Snape to the wall behind him. Dropping his wand into his robes, James advanced towards the helpless boy, whispering "You'll pay for what you did to her!" With that, he swung, his clenched fist amalgamating with Snape's bony cheek. "She may be the muggle-born," he sent another blow, this time to the boy's stomach, "but you are the one who's a disgrace to the Wizarding World." He gave Snape one final punch before pulling forth his wand, muttering a spell that would transport Snape to the hospital wing.  
  
Glaring in disgust after Snape's floating body, a low moan brought James back to reality. "Lily!" he gasped, rushing to the side of the pale redhead. Thick, red blood matted her previously silken hair, oozing from a wide gash in her temple. "Lily, oh Lily! I'm so sorry! I should have been there!" Tears filled his eyes as he gazed at her seemingly lifeless form.  
  
"Shut it, Potter." Lily's eyes flickered open, a confused look shadowing her face.  
  
"Lil?" James asked anxiously, relieved to hear her voice.  
  
"I was wrong," she laughed weakly, "I can't handle myself." And with that, the world before Lily Evans dissolved into darkness as she lost consciousness.  
  
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A/N: SoOoOoOo . . . what did you think? I'm actually not to happy with this chapter, it didn't turn out quite the way I wanted it to (dang, revenge chapters are hard to write!) but it's here nonetheless. I already know how the next chapter is starting . . . something I wanted to include in here but it wouldn't flow smoothly enough so I figured it would be a good chapter starter ~ Though, unless they have internet access at the hotel, I may not update 'till next week – if so, I promise you a loooooooong chapter!  
  
I only got one review last time ( (from the amazing Kuliogirl herself) can I please, pretty please, have at least 2 for this one? Maybe even 5? *gets down on her knees and begs* Reviews are what keep me going! I need to know that someone has an interest in this story! Hey, I'll tell you what, if you're one of the first 5 reviewers for this chapter, I'll check out and review any one of your stories, how about it? 


	13. Threats of Friendship

A/N: Hola my lovely readers! Many, many apologies for the delay of this chapter. I really don't have a good excuse other than Accelerated Geometry quizzes and soccer practices from 3 – 6 (I scored my first goal of the season today!) but that is really no excuse. Anyways, I was hoping to dedicate this chapter to Penguin'n'Tales who so thoughtfully supplied me with ideas for future chapters (I now know where I'm going with this story!!!) but seeing as how I think this chapter is incredibly lame, I'll hold off 'till I've written a better one. Well, hope you like it!  
  
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Strong arms wrapped around Lily's limp form, James staggered up the last flight of stairs leading towards the hospital wing, panting from the exertion of his strength. As he approached the infirmary doors, James noted, with some satisfaction, that his spell was still in affect and no one had yet to open the wing's door. Snape, suspended by unseen ropes , was still floating above the floor, his head repeatedly bashing itself against the closed doors as the spell attempted to transport him inside.  
  
Hoisting the unconscious Lily higher up on one shoulder, he riskily removed one arm from around her, using it to pound on the closed door. "Madam Pomfrey!" he croaked hoarsely. "Madam Pom-" his yelling was silenced as the mahogany doors flew open, allowing Snape to zoom past the startled nurse's head.  
  
"James Potter, what is going on out here?" her groggy eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of the wound to Lily's head. "Good heavens, child, don't just stand there! Bring her in!"  
  
James trailed after the nurse, arms weakening from his burden as they approached an empty cot. After gently laying his girlfriend on the bed, a ruffled Madam Pomfrey pushed him aside, bending over the patient she had to tend.  
  
As James collapsed in a spindly chair, a resonant clunk filled the room as Snape fell nosily on an unoccupied cot, the spell having just worn off. Shaking his head at the sight, James anxiously turned his attention back to the dressing gown clad nurse who was tending to his precious flower. "Is she going to be alright?"  
  
A grim expression clouding her now alert eyes, Madam Pomfrey answered, "It may take some time for her to properly heal, but eventually, yes, she'll be fine." She glanced at James as he emitted an audible sigh of relief. "I'd ask you to elaborate on what happened, but seeing as I have another patient to tend to, that will have to wait. You don't know what happened to this one, do you?" She cocked her head towards the moaning Snape.  
  
"No," James answered innocently. "He was there when I came up."  
  
Giving a disbelieving snort, Madam Pomfrey shook her head, sleek brown curls tumbling over her shoulder as she turned towards Snape. She was quite a young healer, fairly new at Hogwarts, but as a frequent visitor to the Hospital Wing, James had to admit she knew what she was doing.  
  
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The sun rose high in the cloudless blue sky that Saturday morning, rays filtering in through cracks in the snow caked windows, filling the crowded room with a misty glow as students peered out onto the school's ghostly white grounds. Squeals of delight could be heard coming from first years excited at the prospect of what should be a "smashing good snow fight!" as the Jordan boy put it.  
  
Maren Goldberg had just come tumbling out of the girls' dorm in search for her best friend when Kelly Stevenson came stumbling into the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Maren! You've got to come!" she shrieked, her golden curls spilling over her powder-blue sweater as she talked.  
  
Maren quickly ran to embrace her friend, ignoring the stares and repeated "What is a RAVENCLAW doing HERE?" they were receiving from the other students. "Kel! What's wrong?"  
  
"I was taking Sara – you know Sara, right? – well, I was taking her to the hospital wing and, oh Maren! I saw Lily there and she, she's unconscious!" Tears glistened in Kelly's eyes as her trembling hands grasped Maren's arms.  
  
"I am going to KILL James Potter!" Maren whispered menacingly before tearing past Kelly towards the portrait hole.  
  
"Oy! Remus! Control your girlfriend, will you?" Sirius grabbed a fistful of Maren's robes, holding her back.  
  
Remus glanced up from his essay on Goblin Warfare with a bemused expression gracing his countenance. Looking back from Maren to Sirius, to Maren, back to Sirius, he smiled, replying, "Nah, I learned long ago not to mess with her when she's mad. She's all yours."  
  
Maren whirled around, glaring at her boyfriend and the Marauder clutching at her robes. "Remus! Lily is lying unconscious in the Hospital wing! Tell this oaf to let me go!"  
  
"Lily's in the hospital wing?" in a flash, Remus was up on his feet, coming to the aid of Sirius who had received a brutal kick in the shins from Maren. "Come on," he murmured beneath his breath, watching as Maren and Kelly stormed out of the common room. "We'd best follow them."  
  
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"James Potter, if you've done anything to hurt my friend I swear you'll be living the rest of your life as a toad!" The threatening shriek startled James out of his restless slumber.  
  
'Where am I?' he wondered groggily, 'Who the heck is yelling?' He cast his eyes around, taking the sight of the nondescript curtain that circled his chair and the bed where Lily lay before him. "Lily!" he gasped at the sight of his bandaged girlfriend as memories of the past night came forward in a tumbling rush inside his mind. Amanda's panic, talking to Dumbledore, the drunken Slytherins, Snape, Lily, the hospital wing – the horrid memories spilled forward, captivating James until the threatening shriek was issued once more.  
  
"If you've done anything to harm Lils in any way I'll-" the curtain swung open, revealing a raging Maren with a peeved Sirius attempting to restrain her. "My God, what have you done to her?" Maren wrenched herself free from Sirius' grasp and ran to the edge of her friend's bed while Sirius mouthed a "Sorry, mate" to James and Remus and Kelly hovered in the doorway. (A/N: haha doesn't that just remind you of 'Regis and Kelly'?)  
  
"I didn't do anything except try to protect her," James shot a furious glare at Sirius who had caught sight of Lily and was now mouthing wordlessly.  
  
"Well, you obviously didn't do a very go-" Maren was silenced by a glare from Remus.  
  
"From what?"  
  
James jerked his head back, gesticulating to the beat-up Snape.  
  
"Looks like he got the raw end of the deal," Kelly observed, staring at the pallid boy's blood-stained bandages.  
  
"Him?" Maren shrieked once more, unable to restrain her fury, "Look at Lily!"  
  
"Miss Goldberg," a stern voice spoke from behind, causing the five students all to give a startled jump. Albus Dumbledore stepped forward from behind the curtains, his half-moon glasses glinting in the light. "Now is not the time for threats, nor do I believe Mr. Potter would ever let any harm come to Miss Evans – or any of you – that he could not prevent. Now, if you five will follow me, I believe Madam Pomfrey would prefer if we left her patient to rest. We will depart to my office where I'm sure Mr. Potter would be delighted to tell us the story of last nights events, the *whole* story."  
  
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A/N: So, was it as lame as I predicted? Thank you all so much for the reviews!! Thanks to KrisKG for the support and sweet review and thanks to imagine ~ I'm thrilled you like my fic! Remember my lovely reviewers; reviews are what keep me going! ^_^ 


	14. Painful Absence

A/N: I'm finally back with the newest chapter! Sorry it took me so long to update but I think my muse is on permanent vacation~ Anyways, thanks so much to Danz! You are too sweet for words! Anyways, I have over 50 REVIEWS!!! So I am going to thank each and every one of my first 50 reviewers (crazy, I know, but it'll be fun ^_^) Thank you all so much!!!  
  
Thanks to . . .  
  
Templa Otmena, SilentMidnight, James, Alcapacien, Laina3, trashcan, slippersRfuzzy, SilentMidnight, Mequel, Tanya J Potter  
  
AND  
  
Templa Otmena, number1princess, Catherine24, Angel Street, Indiangurl, kimmerz, Slytherinangel922, Laina3, The Vampire Risika, girlwholived  
  
AND  
  
Lost Angel (take care Lyss), Templa Otmena, champtennis, Laina3, Angelic Moonlight22, Angel Street, number1princess, Alcapacien, no name  
  
AND  
  
Radiion-hobbitwarrior, child-of-scorpio, LiLy MaLfOy13, Megan Evans, kuliogirl, kuliogirl, yayori, sneha, Penguin'N'Tales, BlAH Blah bLAH  
  
AND  
  
Cris, imagine, child-of-scorpio, Penguin'N'Tales, KrisKG, yayori, yayori, KrisKG, Sara, Penguin'N'Tales  
  
And thanks to Danz for reviews 51-62!!! You are just too sweet ^_^  
  
ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
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Emerald eyes gleaming with tired tears, Lily's pale eyelids flickered open, blinding her sensitive eyes with streaming sunlight. Rolling over, the bruised redhead let out an audible moan as her tense body seized up in searing pain. Taking in a sharp gasp of air, Lily frantically searched her mind, trying to remember, but the pain was so intense that she could not concentrate. She felt like the daring heroine in the romance novels she so loved, the ones who would gallantly throw themselves from the highest cliff rather than be forced into marriage with a man she could not love, except that rather than have made the smooth impact against the water, Lily felt as though her body had been continuously berated on the sharp and jagged stones below.  
  
Eyes slowly adjusting to the blinding light, Lily recognized the dull blue curtains drawn around her uncomfortable cot. The Hospital Wing, she was in the Hospital Wing, but why? Try as she might, Lily could not recollect the events that had landed her here.  
  
Glancing around the enclosed area, Lily noticed a spindly bedside table overflowing with richly decorated cards and piled high with what looked like half the Honeydukes storeroom. But despite the alarming amount of well-wished gifts, the object that caught Lily's eye was a single, flaming red tiger lily placed delicately in a sparkling green jar. The flower, even brighter than her fiery hair, stretched its petals towards her, moving like a sunset from a glowing orange near the center to the radiant pink at the tips. Each petal sprinkled with a handful of black freckles, the flower was an icon of perfection, the one true beauty that nature had to hold. Captivated by the flower's radiance, Lily fell into a mesmerized trance, only to be pulled back to reality by the sound of footsteps approaching her enclosure.  
  
"Finally awake, I see!" Madam Pomfrey stated cheerfully as she pulled the curtains aside. "And how is the patient feeling?"  
  
"Like I've been thrown into a wall," Lily mumbled, struggling to sit up as the nurse placed a steaming tray before her.  
  
"Well, eat up, you'll need your strength," the young nurse spoke sweetly before proceeding to shove a thermometer in Lily's mouth.  
  
"-an ooh ell me what a-end?" Lily asked thickly, the thermometer impairing her speech.  
  
"What's that dear?" Madam Pomfrey extracted the thermometer and, apparently pleased with the temperature, urged Lily to eat.  
  
Moving to pacify the nurse, Lily took a sip of hot chocolate, immediately feeling warmth spreading through her tired limbs. Swallowing deeply, Lily repeated her question, "Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
Madam Pomfrey hesitated, smile fleeing from her lips. "Do you not remember?" she questioned timidly.  
  
Lily shook her head, sending a cascade of rippling hair down her back.  
  
"Nothing at all?"  
  
"Well, I . . . I remember going to see Professor Dumbledore, and I remember someone laughing cruelly, but that's all." She frowned, disappointed in her lack of memory.  
  
Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, deep in thought, "Well, I'm afraid I can't give you any facts, you'll have to speak to the headmaster." And with that, she gestured at Lily to finish her meal and bustled out of the room.  
  
Sinking back into the deep pillows, Lily closed her eyes, racking her brain for any inkling as to the past events, but, as before, nothing came. Shaking her head in self-disapproval, Lily limply lifted a piece of buttered toast to her lips, indulging in her meal as her mind chided her for wondering . . . where was James?  
  
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Sorry it's so short! But, yeah, I haven't had much time lately, hopefully I'll be able to update later this weekend! Anyways, if you have any extra time, my friend just posted her first story. It's a James and Lily fic and she'd really like you to check it out if you have time! Her pseudonym is Ansa12 and the story is "James plus Lily equals Love??" so yeah, props to anyone who checks it out! Remember my loverly reviewers, the sooner you review, the sooner you get a new chapter! ^_^ Thanks for all your sweetness! 


	15. Guilt and Suspicion

A/N: I know I promised an update for a week ago, but you know, one thing just led to another . . . ready for my list of excuses? In the past 2 weeks I reread the entire Harry Potter series (and no where does it say that James was a chaser, how does everyone know this?), I had at least 3 soccer games and 4 nights worth of practices, I didn't even get home 'till 10:30 or so one night 'cause the game was up at one of the bases. And then I had that evil pile of homework and projects that those tortuous people who call themselves teachers assigned me . . . I'm not very good at excuses, am I? Well, I PROMISE, that the next chapter is coming soon, because, thanks partly to Penguin'N'Tales, I have an idea and know where I'm going with it!  
  
Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Remember, reviews keep me going! Hope you like this chapter!  
  
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James Potter ran a hand through his inky-black hair, sending it into even more disarray than before. He nervously bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Sirius who was having a word with McGonagall. A flushed Maren had just informed him that Lily was awake and well, recuperating in the hospital wing, and James was anxiously awaiting the chance to speak with his girl friend. It had been nearly three days since their encounter with Snape. His stomach churned with guilt as James thought back to that night, 'It's all my fault,' he thought bitterly. 'If I had just left Snape pinned to the wall, if I hadn't continued to fight, if I'd gone straight to Lily . . .' his throat tightened, 'If I had done more to protect her she wouldn't be in this pain!'  
  
"Er . . . alright there, mate?" Sirius waved a calloused hand before James' hazel eyes.  
  
"Hm? Oh, sorry, what was that?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking we could go up to the Hospital Wing and visit Lils," Sirius said with an air of a teacher patiently talking to a young child, "but if you'd rather stay here and continue your colloquy with the wall . . ."  
  
"Let's go!" James hooked his arm through Sirius', dragging the grinning boy down the hall.  
  
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Lily Evans opened her shining eyes to see an ecstatic Maren Goldberg staring down at her, accompanied by an equally thrilled-looking Remus Lupin. "Hey," she murmured sleepily, staring up at them.  
  
"Hey yourself," Maren grinned, flashing two gleaming rows of pearly white teeth. "How's it going?"  
  
"All right, I guess." Lily shrugged nonchalantly, "Most of the pain has subsided. Madam Pomfrey was able to mend the wounds in about a second."  
  
"You look a lot better than you did three days ago," Maren chirped, "You were a right mess then."  
  
"Three days ago? I've been in here for THREE days?" A panic-stricken expression flitted across Lily's face as Maren bit back her lip.  
  
"Didn't Madam Pomfrey tell you?"  
  
"She hasn't told me anything except that I'm not permitted to leave! She said I'd have to talk to Dumbledore and that he would decide what was right for me to know."  
  
Maren and Remus exchanged anxious glances. "What do you mean 'what was right for you to know'? Don't you remember what happened? Anything?" Maren questioned with the air of someone who was praying that what they thought was wrong.  
  
Lily sullenly shook her head, tousled wisps of hair spilling across her pillow. "I'm seventeen, for the sake of Merlin, don't you think I have a right to know what landed me in here?" she demanded furiously.  
  
"Erm . . ." Maren and Remus exchanged glances once more, searching for an answer within each others' faces.  
  
"You mean you aren't going to tell me?" Lily asked in a menacingly low tone, her voice on the edge of hysteria.  
  
"Hell hath no fury like an angry Lil," a cheeky voice spoke from the doorway. The trio whirled around to find Sirius grinning madly in the doorframe, oblivious to the deadly glares he was receiving from James. "Hullo, Lils, how ya feelin'?"  
  
Despite her mounting anger, Lily had to smile at Sirius' predictable antics. It was somewhat reassuring to know that no matter how much the world changed, Sirius would always be the same. "'lo, Sirius, I'm much better, thanks." The four teens turned their eye expectantly to James who appeared to be at a loss for words. He repeatedly opened and closed his mouth, searching for the right words, but no sound was issued until he received a sharp nudge in the ribs from Sirius. "H-hey Lily," he mumbled softly, "How are you . . . er . . . are you o . . . um, how's it going?" he stumbled over his words and then stood bracingly, as though expecting a harsh rant in response.  
  
"Er . . . hey, James," Lily smiled uncertainly, unsure of why he was acting so strange, so . . . un-James-like.  
  
Sensing the tension in the room, Remus quickly mentioned that he and Maren had been collecting the assignments she'd missed over the past few days. After Lily had goaded Maren into showing her the work (as Remus had hoped she would) Remus quickly dragged James aside.  
  
"Look, Prongs, Lily doesn't remember anything from that night," he started tentatively.  
  
"Not anything?" James gasped, half-horrified, half-relieved.  
  
"Nothing at all, the last thing she remembers is going to Dumbledore's office. She doesn't know what happened with Snape and Madam Pomfrey has forbidden us to tell her unless Dumbledore permits it; she suffered a mild concussion and the added trauma might send her into shock." He paused while James allowed the barrage of information to sink in.  
  
"So, she's not mad?"  
  
"Mad? Confused at your behavior, maybe, and furious at us for not telling her what happened, but that's all. She doesn't blame you in the least for what happened with Snape. Treat her the way she deserves, mate, don't give her any reason to think against you."  
  
James nodded comprehendingly, smiled his thanks to Remus, and then sauntered over to where Lily was moaning over McGonagall's transfiguration essay.  
  
"Oy, Lils," he favored her with a face splitting grin, "it's not that bad, really, I could help you if you like."  
  
Though his typical overly-confident manner was as comforting to Lily as Sirius' teasing had been, Lily couldn't help but wonder at what had brought about the change in James' manner. "Y-you sure you don't mined?" Lily questioned tentatively.  
  
"Aw, Lily," James lowered his voice to a soothing whisper, "You know I'd do anything for you."  
  
"Oy!" Sirius suddenly leapt to his feet, staring avidly at the bare spot on his wrist where a watch ought to have been. "Look at the time! Maren, I only just remembered, that chat with Kelly we fancied? We're going to be late!"  
  
"What chat?" Maren questioned irritably as Sirius hoisted her to her feet, dragging her from the bed where Lily and James sat.  
  
"The chat, about the thing, at the time and place, with the girl and the guy, and the complex plot line," Sirius rambled as he pulled Maren out the door, followed by a beaming Remus. "We'll see you two later!" Sirius waved his hand jubilantly as he shoved the protesting Maren out of the wing.  
  
Lily's eyebrows disappeared under her tangled hair as she and James exchanged amused glances before falling into peals of laughter. "Did you see him," she gasped between bouts of giggles, "checking a watch that wasn't there?"  
  
"Well," James smiled, the first to recover from the giggling fit, "I have to admit, subtlety isn't really his thing." As he watched Lily slowly regaining her breath, James' heart swelled with avid admiration for Lily. She'd been through a terrible ordeal, one many people would love to forget, and all she wanted was to remember it. Her eager persistence reminded James of why he had fallen in love with her in the first place. "Hey, Lily?" He spoke quietly, surprised by the sudden shyness that seemed to have fallen over him.  
  
"Yes, James?" Her emerald eyes turned their questioning light on him.  
  
"Well, erm, I was wondering if maybe, if it was alright with your folks, you'd like to spend Easter vacation with me?" He braced himself for rejection, trying to squelch the feeling of hope that was rapidly burgeoning within him.  
  
Lily looked at him appraisingly, her gleaming eyes filled with glee, "I'd love to."  
  
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	16. A Barrage of Owls

A/N: Hey, look, a new chapter!!! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews!!! I think I got a total of 8!! ^_^ You all make me feel so loved! Thanks for all the support~ I wouldn't be continuing this if it wasn't for all of you!  
  
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Dearest Mum,  
  
How is everything at home? How are Dad and Petunia? I hope everything is going well. Everything is fine here, I had a bit of a fall and had to spend a few days in the Hospital Wing, but Madam Pomfrey fixed me up in a pinch, so, no worries! Well, as you know, Easter break is coming up and, well, James asked if I wanted to spend part of the vacation at his family's home. I would, of course, spend Easter with you, and then he and Sirius will come and pick me up the next day. Please, Mum, I would very much like to go! You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important to me! Send an answer back with Isis as soon as you can! Thanks!  
  
All my love,  
Lily  
  
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Mr. & Mrs. Evans,  
  
How are you? Forgive me if this seems forward, but I was wondering if I could have the pleasure of spending Easter break with Lily. She would, of course, spend Easter Day with you, and then, with your permission, I would arrive the following day to pick her up and bring her to my parents' home, who would be only too glad to have her stay with us. Please send word back with Emrys, my owl, when you get the chance.  
  
Sincerely,  
James Potter  
  
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James,  
  
We would be delighted to have Lily spend Easter Vacation with you, as long as you're sure it's all right with your parents. Lily's thrilled with the invitation. I suppose we'll expect you the day after Easter, unless anything changes, and in that case, please let us know.  
  
Mark & Iris Evans (A/N: I have NO idea what her parents' names are, please correct me if you know!)  
  
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Mum & Dad,  
  
Hullo, how are things going at home? Things are alright here, but it appears as though darker times are approaching. A muggle-born witch was attacked the other day, and it seems as though certain students are taking more and more pride in being pureblood, just like Dad said they would.  
  
On a happier note, I was wondering if Sirius and I could have a visitor this Easter break. If it's alright with you we'd like to invite Lily Evans over for the second half of the week.  
  
Well, class is about to start and McGonagall is yelling something about suspending me (haha, just kidding, Dad!) Miss you!  
  
James  
  
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Dearest Lily,  
  
Oh, Lil! We received an owl from James Potter just moments after yours! He's such a sweet, well-mannered boy! Asking for our permission and everything! I daresay none of Petunia's boyfriends have ever been this polite, but your sister does seem to fancy them . . . Anyways, we'd be happy for you to spend your break with the Potters. But who is this "Sirius" you mentioned in your last letter?  
  
Oh, I thought I should give you a bit of a warning before you visit, but we'll be entertaining Petunia's boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, on the day after Easter, so it would be nice if you could spend part of the day at home. Your friend would most certainly be welcomed to stay as well!  
  
Well, I 'm afraid I have to run. Do take care, Lily, and try not to fall down any more stairs!  
  
All my love,  
Mum  
  
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Prongs –  
  
How goes the Prince Charming mission? Got her parents convinced that you're a sweetheart yet? Better hope she hasn't been spouting off 'bout how much se hates James Potter these past few years! Anyways, full moon this week, you game?  
  
Cheers, mate,  
-Padfoot  
  
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Padfoot, you prat! We sleep in the same friggin dorm! Why are you owling me?  
  
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Prongs –  
  
Well, Emrys is always off on some mission or another what with you trying to organize Easter. And Lils is always off trying to correspond with the muggles, so my owl was getting pretty lonely in the owlry, so I thought I'd write to you. You don't have to be so tetchy. Besides, you never answered my questions! Full moon – this Thursday.  
  
-Padfoot  
  
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Padfoot –  
  
Your owl? This is a school owl! You don't even own an owl! And to your questions; yes, it's all going well, thanks for the reassurance, NOT! You call yourself a best friend?  
  
Thursday – Sure, Whomping Willow at 7?  
  
Prongs  
  
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Prongs –  
  
It may be a school owl, but I'm the only one that ever uses it. Ever since I got him to dive-bomb Alyse Chatterton in our third year. Ah, sometimes my ingeniousness impresses even me!  
  
-Padfoot  
  
P.S. Yes, I call myself a best friend, I never said I was yours  
  
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I am not even going to ask – Prongs  
  
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Mr. & Mrs. Evans,  
  
We're not sure if you're used to Owl Post, please forgive us if this inconveniences you in any way. I don't believe we've met, but I believe that our son, James, fancies your daughter, Lily, and was wondering if she would be permitted to spend Easter Vacation with us. We would, of course, be delighted to have Lily stay with us, as long as it's all right with you. Please send an answer with our owl as soon as you can. We look forward to hearing from you!  
  
Liam & Gwendolyn Potter (A/N: Once again, NO IDEA what James' parents' names are, if you know, please tell me!)  
  
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Mum (And Dad and Petunia)  
  
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much your letter brightened up my day! Anyways, Sirius Black is James' best friend. Apparently he and his family had a falling out when he was 17 (they believe in all this "pureblood" nonsense and Sirius, thankfully, is against all that) and the Potters took him in as a sort-of second son.  
  
Well, I've got to draw up some study schedules for Maren and myself. We've learned so much these past seven years, and NEWTs are supposed to be torture!  
  
All my love~  
Lily  
  
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Liam & Gwendolyn Potter,  
  
Have no worries, Lily uses Owl Post all the time, I do believe she's almost forgotten how to do it the muggle way. Even if we hadn't been as used to owls as we would have liked, I daresay we're plenty used to them after this past week. Not a day has gone past that we haven't received a letter from either Lily or James regarding this coming Easter. To say that Lily fancies your son would be quite an understatement! I've never seen her this excited about a boy before, and if James feels the same of her, it would be a sin to keep them apart!  
  
Do send word of when James will be arriving to pick up Lily. I greatly look forward to meeting your son!  
  
Yours,  
Iris Evans  
  
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James~  
  
Lily Evans, as in, the Head Girl? That cute redhead you and Sirius are always going on about? The one you've fancied since your fifth-year? You two have finally gotten together? (Your father told me to lay it on thick, all howlers should be addressed accordingly to him) Jamsie, I'm thrilled you two have finally gotten together! Of course we'd be willing to have her! Though I must say I am a bit miffed that you wrote to the Evanses without our having said yes. What if we hadn't allowed it? You're getting off easy this time, James, just be thankful your father hasn't found out. (He was so glad you finally found a decent girl that I just couldn't break it to him!) Well, I'm afraid I have to run. Your father's misplaced his glasses yet again. We look forward to hearing form you again soon!  
  
Much love,  
Mum  
  
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Miss Evans,  
  
Headmaster Dumbledore requires your attendance Thursday evening, regarding your mishap last week. Please arrive at his office no later than 7 pm.  
  
-Professor McGonagall  
  
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A/N: So, what did you think? I know this chapter's a bit different than the others, and I know not very much happened, sorry about that. Please review with any comments and please correct me if I've made any mistakes! Thanks for all the lovely reviews! 


	17. Heartbreak and Betrayal

A/N: I know it's been awhile, but here's your next chapter!!! Thanks for all the reviews!!!  
  
Holly_evans & Imagine: Just letting you know, though this chapter is not Easter, hopefully next chapter will be! If not, definitely within the next two chapters~  
  
Star: lol that's a great idea, I'll keep it in mind, thanks  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I usually don't do individual reviewer comments, but if you'd like me to, I could start.  
  
This chapter is dedicated to Penguin'N'Tales, I don't think I ever gave you the chapter I promised, I hope this one's good enough!!!  
  
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"My Grandmother's ill and my father won't be back 'till this weekend, so my mother really needs my help around the house."  
  
Sirius and James watched in amused fixation as a somber Remus talked with Maren.  
  
"Hey," Lily plopped down on the couch beside them, "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing much," Sirius replied, not taking his eyes off Remus, "just watching Lupin trying to explain to Maren why he won't be here this week."  
  
"Oh," Lily strained her ears, trying to catch whispers of the hushed conversation, "Well, I'm glad his grandmother's sick, she must have made quite an improvement."  
  
The two boys wrenched their eyes away from the couple, staring blankly at Lily. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, when he disappeared last month it was to attend his grandmother's funeral." She replied simply.  
  
They exchanged nervous glances, "Erm, it must be his other grandmother."  
  
"Can't be, she passed away in our third year."  
  
"Erm . . . well," James searched for some excuse, some way to cover up fro Remus.  
  
"You know," Lily lowered her voice conspiratorially, "he could have saved me the trouble of looking up lycanthropy and just told me he was a werewolf."  
  
"How . . .?"  
  
"Oh, c'mon, James! I'm not daft! Always sick once a month, his endless excuses, and, remember in our third year? When we had to face the Boggart? Well, it turned into a moon for him," Lily shrugged, "I did some research, just to make sure, but personally, I don't see what the big deal is."  
  
"Lil," James started weakly, looking at a loss for words, "You don't understand, this is the Wizarding World. Werewolves have been feared for centuries, parents wouldn't send their kids here if they knew there was a chance that the might be bitten by a werewolf!"  
  
"Yes, well, that just shows the world how discriminatory Wizards are, doesn't it?"  
  
James shook his head disbelievingly while Sirius mouthed wordlessly behind him.  
  
Lily waved her hand dismissively and her tone became serious, "Anyways, James, do you think I could have a word with you?"  
  
"Yeah, alright," both turned to Sirius who was waiting expectantly for Lily to continue. "She means 'alone', Sirius."  
  
"Hm?" he searched the faces of the two glaring teens. "Fine, then, I'd absolutely hate to intrude on one of your snogging fests," he scowled, making to leave, "But don't' forget, Prongs, 7 pm sharp." And with that he stormed off out of the common room.  
  
James shook his head at the departing Sirius before turning back to Lily. Noting the anxiety that had spread across Lily's face, James' arm snaked around her back, pulling her close. "Hey," he whispered softly, his breath tickling her ear, "What's up?"  
  
Lily drew back, trying to resist the intoxication of his charms, and looked deep into his hazel eyes as though searching for the truth within him. "I just returned from talking to Dumbledore. He told me what happened that night with Snape." She didn't know what kind of reaction she was expecting; maybe a shameless smirk, fury and rage, proclamation that Dumbledore was lying, an excuse . . . but what Lily had never expected was to see a guilt-ridden James Potter sitting across from her, face lined with regret, and eyes filled with sorrow.  
  
"So," his voice cracked as he tried to find the words to speak, "I guess this is it then, huh?"  
  
Confusion etched its way across Lily's face, "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I suppose you think I'm a, what was it? Oh, right, 'an arrogant, bullying toerag'". Lily cringed as James spat out each word. She knew she had been out of line in their fifth year, but she never imagined the pain of which the sting of words caused.  
  
"No, James, I don-"  
  
"You sure? Because I thought you said that I made you sick? That between going out with me or the giant squid, you'd pick the squid?" James had never known he carried such bitter resentment inside him, he didn't even know why he was ranting, but now that he had started, he couldn't stop.  
  
"James, please, stop it!" Tears shimmered in the corners of Lily's eyes.  
  
"Stop what? Telling the truth? That's all you've ever seen me as, Lil! What made you change your mind?"  
  
"You did, James. You showed me that assumptions weren't everything. I've made some mistakes in my life, and I'm sorry, but I thought we were past all that. Besides," she added, eyes averted, not able to look at him, "Professor Dumbledore said you didn't start the fight, Snape did. He said you walked away until Snape attacked me, and that you were only fighting to protect me. The only reason I brought it up was to thank you." Tears were streaming freely down Lily's cheeks now. Her eyes grazed over James' startled face and a sob caught in her throat. Quickly jumping from her seat, she fled to the girls' dormitory, not bothering to give James a second glance.  
  
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"Lils, I'm sure he didn't mean it," Maren cooed soothingly, deftly dividing Lily's thick hair into three fat strands.  
  
"But he just blew up at me! Without even giving me a chance to speak! He just assumed that I assumed that he attacked Snape! Ow!" Lily blinked back threatening tears as Maren yanked hard on her hair, trying to tightly braid Lily's sleek hair.  
  
"That could be because he's had all this bottled up inside him ever since you first turned him down." Maren murmured gently, not relenting on her strenuous task of styling Lily's hair.  
  
"I reckon you're one of the few to have witnessed James' dark side," Andromeda Black, a slender, dark haired witch took her place on the floor beside Lily, closely followed by her friend, Dorcas Meadowes. The four girls had shared the same dorm for seven years now, and though they weren't the closest of friends – Maren and Lily having bonded together and Andromeda and Dorcas having known each other for the entirety of their lives – the girls all got along fairly well. "It's a side he doesn't show often, but it's right horrid, being on the receiving end of his wrath." She shook her dark curls knowingly.  
  
Maren smirked, "Should we assume we're listening to a voice of experience?"  
  
"Aye, Andy's felt the wrath of James Potter on more than a few occasions," Dorcas quipped, before hastily adding, "her being Sirius' cousin and all."  
  
Lily attempted an idyllic smile, but a pained expression was still clouding her startlingly green eyes.  
  
"Ah, Lils," Andromeda slipped her arm around Lily's waist, embracing her friend. "Don't worry about it! What with Sirius and I being so close and all, I've gotten to know Potter fairly well, and, as we all know, he's been through his fair share of girls, but he has never. Ever. Liked a girl the way he loves you."  
  
"Loves?" Lily whispered hoarsely, unable to remover her quivering eyes from the grasp of Andromeda's crystal blue ones.  
  
"Yes, Lily," she pulled away, taking Lily's trembling hands in her own, "Loves."  
  
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"You messed up, so what? Everyone makes mistakes."  
  
"You don't understand, Padfoot, I yelled at her."  
  
"So? How many times has she yelled at you these past seven years? You need to get over yourself, mate, Evans is turning you soft."  
  
A strong gust of wind swirled around the two boys, carefully hidden by James' invisibility cloak, as they strolled across the castle grounds, making their way towards the Whomping Willow. James had just opened his mouth to speak when a dark figure, striding towards the violent tree, caught his eye.  
  
"Padfoot," James started hesitantly, "I thought you said Peter couldn't come tonight."  
  
"He can't."  
  
"Then who is that?" he rose a shaky finger, pointing in the shrouded figure's direction.  
  
Sirius peered into the darkness, freezing mid-step as realization dawned on him. "Snape," he whispered hoarsely.  
  
"And what," James began tentatively, as though he knew he wouldn't like the answer he was about to receive, "is Snape doing, prodding the willow with a stick?"  
  
"Ah, well, you see, you were spending so much time with Evans, and I was getting bored, and then Snape attacked you and, well, I . . ." he wilted beneath James' cold stare, "I told Snape if he wanted to find out the truth about where Remus goes every month all he had to do was prod the knot at the base of the tree . . ." he trailed off meekly.  
  
"Padfoot, you prat!" James roared. "Do you realize what you've done? What if Remus bites Snape? That's all he's ever been afraid of since he's come here!"  
  
"You think I don't know that? I made a mistake, James, I didn't mean for it to go this far . . ." Sirius began, but James was not there to hear the rest of his apology. Slipping out from beneath the cloak, James sprinted across the frozen grounds in pursuit of Snape.  
  
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Severus Snape was nearing the end of the tunnel, 'And about time, too,' he thought bitterly to himself. Fresh air was filtering in, along with thin strands of moonlight. He had to be close. The thought of discovering Lupin's secret, turning him over to the Headmaster, filled Snape with irrepressible glee. Black had been so lonely, what with his too friends so wrapped up in their girlfriends, he had been almost to eager to leak the information to Snape, and now, if things worked out his way, Snape would have all the Marauders expelled.  
  
"Snape! Stop!" a voice echoed down the dark tunnel, followed by the sound of pounding footsteps. Whirling around, Snape caught sight of James' face, flushed from his sudden sprint. 'No!' The thought rang through his mind, he couldn't let Potter prevent him from his moment of glory. Spinning on his heel, Snape began to run down the tunnel, hoping to reach Remus Lupin before Potter could stop him, but he was no match for James' speed. Within seconds the boy was upon, trying to force Snape back through the tunnel towards Hogwarts.  
  
"Potter! Let me go! What do you think you're doing? Protecting your friend? Well, I'll have you know that the minute I discover your friend's secret, I'll have you all expelled!" With that, he jabbed his wand in James' gut, causing the chaser to let him go in surprise.  
  
"Snape! You don't know what's down there!"  
  
"Oh? Don't I? It's your friend Lupin wa-" but Snape was cut off by a harsh growl. Slowly turning, Snape saw the wide, snapping jaws of a wolf coming from the entrance to the tunnel. "A werewolf," the word was whispered in awed silence. Snape knew enough about the dark arts to recognize the snout of a werewolf from that of your common wolf.  
  
"Snape, we have to get out of here!" James hooked his arm through the scrawny boy's, dragging him down the tunnel.  
  
Knowing the danger a werewolf could present to him, Snape allowed himself to be dragged off, trying hard to conceal the excitement spreading across his face. "I'll get you for this, Potter, you and that friend of yours, Black. Mark my words, you'll be on the next train out of Hogwarts tomorrow morning."  
  
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And that's all for now! There you go, a nice long chapter to start of your May. Oooh, and Happy Cinco de Mayo to those who celebrate it!  
  
You know what to do, make my day and review! ^_^ 


	18. Simple Analogies

A/N: I have 100 Reviews!!!! dances in a circle with teary eyes You guys have no idea how much this means to me!!  
  
This chapter goes out to my 100th Reviewer, and, coincidentally, lighter buddy Cutiep2ti89 This is dedicated to you, Yayori!!  
  
For the days that preceded Easter Vacation, Gryffindors would remember the tense silence that filled the common room; a silence so thick that some even doubted a carving knife could cut through. The day following the full moon, the first day of a waning gibbous (A/N: I think that's what follows a full moon, please correct me if I'm wrong), the common room had been flooded by an endless storm of fury. James yelled at Sirius, Sirius at first yelled back then relented to listening meekly. Remus avoided Sirius at all costs and James felt himself drawn more to Remus than to his best friend. It was the first time any of the marauders had had a serious fight; it was a day that would live on in Hogwarts' memory.  
  
No one but the Marauders, Snape, and Lily knew what had happened that night. James had come storming into the common room, his hands shaking, and despite the fight they'd had only hours before, Lily immediately went to him, taking him in her arms on pure maternal instinct, and listened to him pour his heart out. Though she understood the seriousness of what Sirius had done, Lily couldn't help but feel her heart break for him. She had, in coming into James' life, been a fairly large part of what drove Sirius into his act of madness. She couldn't help but feel as though it was her fault; perhaps that's why she felt herself being drawn to him while James was drawn to Remus and Maren. In any case, Lily found herself wandering over to Sirius late one evening following the fight.  
  
Sirius was sitting in a lone chair in a darkened corner of the common room, his shaggy hair hanging unkempt in his eyes, eyes that were staring absently at a blank wall as thought he wall might have the answers to his problem. Throughout the last 7 years, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter hadn't really needed any friends other than each other, but now that the other three didn't need him, Sirius was alone.  
  
"Hey," Lily murmured quietly, taking in his piteous appearance, "Mind if I sit here?"  
  
Sirius stared at her as though she'd grown an extra head, 'Why isn't she of gloating with James?'  
  
Lily shifted uncertainly under his gaze, "Erm. . . I don't have to, if you'd rather be alone, that is . . ."  
  
"No!" Sirius found his voice, "Please, stay."  
  
Lily smiled, igniting her fiery green eyes, "Thanks."  
  
"Not to be rude or anything, but why aren't you with them?" Sirius nodded his head towards James, Remus, and Maren.  
  
Lily surveyed the laughing group closely before shaking her head empathetically, "they've got each other, I figured you needed a friend."  
  
He frowned, not sure if she was showing pity, concern, or if she genuinely wanted to spend time with him.  
  
Lily sighed, her face falling as she did so, her cheerful countenance fading. "Sirius, I know what it's like to be alone. If I were in your position I'd want to know that there was someone there for me. But, then again, I'm not you. If you'd rather be alone, just let me say this first: I'm sorry if it's seemed like I was stealing James from you, I never meant for that to happen. The last thing I wanted was to come in between your two's friendship."  
  
"You're a muggle-born, I take it you know most muggle stories?"  
  
Lily nodded, not sure where this was leading to or what it had to do with her apology.  
  
"Mercutio was so shook up after Romeo left him for Juliet that he welcomed a fight with Tybalt, getting himself killed in the end. I always thought Shakespeare was a queer bloke, but maybe he's got something right after all."  
  
Not for the first time tonight, tears stung Lily's eyes. "Oh, Sirius!" She threw her arms around him, embracing him tightly. "I would never, ever let that happen to you and James! Your guys' friendship is the stuff of legends, and if I'm going to be the ruin of it, then I'll pull out now, I swear it."  
  
Sirius sat in silence, contemplating this for a moment, before a slow grin crept across his face, his first smile in days. "Nah, James needs you, Lils, he's been smitten with you since you first stepped on that train 7 years ago." He smiled again, lost in reminiscence.  
  
"He needs us both, Siir, (A/N: pronounced "seer", credit to TeenTypist) James Potter wouldn't be complete without you."  
  
"And he'd be a real drag without you, Juliet."  
  
Lily laughed at his clever analogy. "I never would have pinned you for a Shakespeare reader, Mercutio."  
  
Sirius laughed, shoving lily off the couch, "You tell anyone and you'll be demoted to Rosaline and shipped off to the nunnery."  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, fair Prince Escalus." She gave a mock bow before turning towards her dorm.  
  
"Hey, Lils?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Anytime."  
  
"I'm gonna miss you, Lily." Most students having opted to stay at Hogwarts to study rather than returning home for the holidays, James, Lily, and Sirius had had no trouble finding an empty compartment in the train.  
  
"James," Lily couldn't help rolling her eyes at his solemnity, "I'm going to see you again in three days, besides, you've got Sirius to keep you company, you'll be having too much fun to miss me."  
  
"Don't count on it," Sirius smirked, lying across the bench across from the couple, "I can't snog him like you can."  
  
Lily blushed furiously while James leaned across the compartment, smacking Sirius on the back of his head.  
  
"Ow!" Sirius reached over and gave James an identical slap.  
  
"Ow! What was that for?" James asked sorely, rubbing his shoulder.  
  
Sirius stuck his tongue out at James, "I don't want you thinking that just 'cause you've got Lils means you're the superior one here."  
  
Lily shook in silent laughter as she watched the two bicker back and forth like toddlers. Normally she would have tried her best to break up the immature fight, but she was so thrilled to see the two boys speaking again that she just let it slide.  
  
"Anyways, Lily," James sat up, panting after their vigorous slap fight. "How are you getting home? Are your parents picking you up?"  
  
She shook her head, "No, they had previous engagements; I'll probably just apparate from the platform."  
  
"You know, you should probably have anti-apparating charms set up around your house, what with you being muggle-born and all."  
  
Lily laughed, "You worry too much! Do you believe someone would really come after me?"  
  
James didn't answer.  
  
"Oh, you can't possibly believe that I'm important enough for Death Eaters to come after. I'm a muggle-born, the only reason they'd come after me would be to make some kind of demonstration out of me or because I threatened them in some way . . ." she trailed off, not believing it. When James didn't answer she just shook her head defiantly. "Even if they did want me for some reason, anti-apparating charms aren't going to stop them. They could just apparate down the street and break in like a common criminal. Once someone that powerful decides they want to kill you, nothing is going to stop them." The brutality of truth in her words hung ominously in the air.  
  
The trio sat in silence for a moment until Sirius cleared his throat, "Right little ray of sunshine, aren't you?"  
  
Lily laughed and pulled Sirius off his bench an onto the one she was sharing with James, slinging one arm around each boy. "I'm going to miss you two!"  
  
"Geez, Lils, it's not like you won't see us in three days," Sirius spoke in a high falsetto, mimicking Lily's voice.  
  
Lily and James laughed, collapsing on each other. Wiping tears from her eyes, Lily sighed, "What am I going to do without you two for three days? I love you both too much to be away from you that long!"  
  
"Both?" James questioned teasingly, "But you love me more, right?"  
  
"Nah, she obviously loves me! I mean, I've got the looks, the charm, the smile, the humor . . ."  
  
"The arrogance," James muttered, sending Lily into another fit of giggles.  
  
"Ah, Siir, you know I love you," Lily confided, but as a cheeky grin spread across his face she continued, "but my heart belongs to James."  
  
James smiled and lovingly kissed her cheek.  
  
"You must have a soft spot for the downtrodden," Sirius smirked, earning himself another smack from James. "Ow! Lily! Keep your boyfriend away from me! Seriously, I suggest you keep him on a leash!" he cowered behind Lily in mock fear as James glared from her other side.  
  
Luckily for Lily, the Hogwarts' express pulled into Platform 9 ¾ before another slap fight could ensue.  
  
Giving Sirius a tight hug and James a gentle kiss, Lily bid farewell to her two friends, wishing she could go straight home with them rather than making the short visit to her own home. Taking a deep, calming breath, Lily Evans closed her eyes and apparated home.  
  
A slight crack in the humid air alerted any passerby on the second floor of #3 Magnolia Crescent that Lily had just arrived in her bedroom. Stepping out of her room and into the topaz painted hallway, Lily noticed that her home was eerily quiet. "Mum! Dad!" she shouted, her voice reverberating off the walls. Moving towards the stairs, she thought her ears detected the faintest tinkle of china.  
  
"Lily! Down in the drawing room!" Her mother's voice carried up the stairs, puzzling Lily. The Evanses never ate in the dining room unless they had special company or something to celebrate. Her parents knew she'd be arriving today, they wouldn't have invited over guests. She vaguely remembered her mother mentioning Petunia's boyfriend in her last letter, but he wasn't due until Easter. What could her family possibly be celebrating?  
  
Glancing at the gilded mirror gracing the hallway wall, Lily quickly ran her fingers through her hair before gliding down the stairs and into the drawing room where she froze at the sight of her parents having tea with Petunia and a heavyset young man.  
  
"Oh, Lily, so good of you to join us." Her mother began, "Oh, dear, there's no rush, you could have changed before coming down!" Lily looked down, realizing she was still wearing robes, Petunia, she noted with slight satisfaction, looked absolutely mortified at the fact that Lily was still clad in her school uniform. "Darling, I don't believe you've been properly introduced! Vernon, this is my other daughter, Lily. Lily, this is Vernon Dursley, your sister's fiancé."  
  
A/N: And that's all for now! 5 pages typed, I hope that's long enough to keep you satisfied for at least a few minutes! Many apologies to all my lovely reviewers, but I have exams coming up within 2 ½ weeks, so I'll have to begin studying fairly soon, meaning it's possible there might be a chapter until June 9th or so. Hopefully I'll be able to get a new chapter up before then, but no promises! Thanks to all my reviewers! You have no idea how much all your reviews mean to me!! 


	19. A Fragile Mind

A/N: Hey all you lucky people, I've been working my butt off, trying to study and get this chapter out before exams for all of ya! 27 chapters of physics!!! I think my brain is melting . . . which will hopefully explain any weirdness that goes on in this chapter.  
  
Oh, I just realized that my stars or asterisks or w/e they're called no longer work on fanfic, so there's probably been some confusion between the different parts of my chapter . . . the parts will now be separated by "" if those work. Sorry!  
  
Thanks for all the reviews! They really made my week Needless to say, they worked, since you're getting this chapter now rather than in June!  
  
  
  
Flashback:  
  
Lily looked down, realizing she was still wearing robes, Petunia, she noted with slight satisfaction, looked absolutely mortified at the fact that Lily was still clad in school uniform. "Darling, I don't believe you've been properly introduced! Vernon, this is my other daughter, Lily. Lily, this  
is Vernon Dursley, your sister's fiancé."  
  
End of Flashback  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Lily," Vernon's double chin wobbled as he bowed. "Petunia has told me much about you."  
  
Lily froze, her eyes searching for emotions on Petunia's face. A slight cough from her mother quickly reminded her of her place, "And I'm very pleased to meet you, er, Vernon." She attempted a sort of curtsy, using her robes in the same fashion as a skirt. Glancing around the room, she noted a bewildered expression gracing Vernon's face – she could only assume it was due to her garb – Petunia's eyes held only fury, and her parents exchanged anxious glances. "Well, I apologize for rushing in like this, I must look a dreadful mess, if I'd known we had company I certainly would have taken time to make myself more presentable, I'll just go change, shall I?" With that she quickly strode out of the dining room, leaving her family to explain her appearance to Vernon.  
  
  
  
Once in her room, Lily sank to her knees in horror, Petunia was getting married. The idea of it just wasn't plausible. To a girl who had spent the better half of her life turning tea kettles into tortoises and commanding pineapples to tap dance across tabletops, it shouldn't seem so unbelievable that her older sister was engaged, but Lily was utterly numb from shock. Staring at her violet rug, Lily listened as the conversation regarding the mess she'd left downstairs infiltrated her normally lucid mind.  
  
Her mother had escorted Petunia to the kitchen, Lily could tell by the high- pitched hysterics erupting from her bedroom vent, and her father was showing Vernon out, their booming voices filtered up the stairs through her bedroom door. As the front door slammed in the entrance way (a/n: is that the best English translation for "genkan"?), Lily shook her head clear, coming to her senses. Pulling her long hair into a high ponytail, Lily quickly stripped off her robes, replacing them with a sheer, long-sleeved green shirt and dark jeans. Casting a careless glance into her mirror, Lily bounded downstairs, preparing herself for the damage that lay ahead.  
  
"Mum! She's ruining everything! She always does! What if," Petunia swallowed, apparently blinking back tears, "what if Vernon calls the wedding off?"  
  
"If he calls the wedding off because your sister's a witch, then he isn't worth your time, Petunia." Lily replied sagely, strolling into the kitchen.  
  
Petunia glared, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen, "Not all the world has the same view as you when it comes to freaks, Lily."  
  
"And, thankfully, the whole world doesn't have the same myopic view as you when it comes to wizards." Petunia flinched at the word as though it would cause her bodily harm. "Look, Petunia, if Vernon loves you he's not going to throw away your engagement because of one stray relative. There are flaws in every family, Petunia, I'm sure there's a weirdo in his as well."  
  
Petunia sniffled, a flicker of hope alight in her beady eyes. "You know, dear," their mother leaned forward, gripping Petunia's shoulder, "She's right."  
  
Lily winced, wishing her mother had thought not to say anything. Petunia may have forgiven Lily for the blemish she left on her perfect life, but the one thing Petunia couldn't stand was hearing that her freakish sister was right.  
  
Sure enough, Lily could see Petunia's form tense beneath her mother's grasp, and her beady little eyes shot to Lily. If looks could kill, as the expression goes, Lily was certain she'd have died a thousand times over from the number of glares she'd received from Petunia over the years since she'd been accepted into Hogwarts.  
  
Stifling a forced yawn, Lily quickly excused herself from the kitchen, assuming her mother could smooth things over better with Petunia than when Lily was present. Sauntering into her room, Lily dimly heard the telephone ringing down the hall. After spending a term at Hogwarts, muggle devices such as telephones seemed strange to Lily, and the loss of muggle contacts meant the phone was rarely for her – unless Maren was bursting with excitement and didn't have the patience to send an owl – but Maren was at Hogwarts now, so it came as quite a shock to Lily when her father called up the stairs, "Lily-flower, it's for you!" Walking down the hall, Lily lifted the receiver tentatively to her hear, unsure of what she would find on the other end. "Hello?"  
  
"Lils," Sirius' voice rasped desperately, "you have got to save me. Not a minute has passed that James hasn't thought of you, and he's starting to drive me crazy with all his heavy sighs and dreamy expressions. I don't know if I'll make it 'till Monday." He gave a dramatic pause, "anyways, in case I don't make it, I want you to promise me that your first son will be named – ow, James, lemme go, no give me the phone, NO LILY DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU! – sorry, Lils, there's this chimp trying to take my – HEY!" A string of colorful swearwords followed Sirius' shouts as Lily tried hard not to laugh into the phone.  
  
"Sirius, you still there?" She asked in a strangled voice, trying to ward off any giggling fits.  
  
"James, give me the phone! No, I NEED to talk to her!"  
  
"Sirius, I will not let you terrorize my girlfriend!"  
  
"I'm not terrorizing her, she's going to save me!"  
  
"From who?"  
  
"You!"  
  
Lily could no longer hold it in, her laughter burst like the bursting of a dam as she heard the argument taking place over in Godric's Hallow. "Um, guys?"  
  
"Yes?" the argument was immediately silenced at the sound of Lily's melodic voice.  
  
"James – don't drive Sirius crazy, I couldn't stand it if he was dead, and Sirius – don't be so hard on James. I'll see you both on Monday! Try not to kill each other before then!" And with that, Lily hung up, noticeably more cheered than she had been the whole afternoon.  
  
  
  
For Lily Evans Easter came and went with little notice, there were the usual chocolate eggs, early morning mass, and exchanging of small gifts and cards among her close family, but nothing that required noting. The real excitement, it seemed, would arrive the following day, when the meeting of Petunia's "normal" boyfriend, and Lily's "freakish" one.  
  
At approximately 6 a.m. Monday morning, Lily's internal alarm went off, rousing her from her fitful slumber. Unable to fall back into her trance, Lily stumbled to the bathroom, allowing herself a long shower before debating what to wear for the day's occasion. Knowing that in only a few hours she would be meeting James again sent butterflies into her stomach, mixed with the anticipation of facing Vernon once more. She could only hope she hadn't humiliated herself too much the last time. Finally agreeing on a simple sleeveless cerulean tee and khaki shirt, Lily headed down to the kitchen in hopes to attempt to force down some breakfast.  
  
  
  
"Padfoot, I don't know, I'm meeting her parents for the first time . . . what am I supposed to wear?" James moaned sulkily, his face buried in his hands.  
  
"What you've got on is fine," Sirius rolled his eyes, not able to believe he was actually having this conversation with James Potter. Cool, calm, collective, suave James Potter was actually falling to pieces over a girl – true, this girl was Lily Evans, but she was a girl nonetheless.  
  
James glanced down anxiously at his blue-collared shirt and khaki pants. "You think so?"  
  
"I know so, now, will you relax? Lily doesn't care what you wear, she'll still love you anyways." If James' mind had not been so preoccupied he may have detected the note of bitter jealousy in Sirius' voice.  
  
"Yeah, you're right."  
  
"Did you ever have any doubt?"  
  
James ruffled his friend's hair affectionately, causing Sirius to yelp at the destruction he was causing. As Sirius fled to the bathroom to apply more gel to his now disheveled hair, James couldn't help but wonder how he was possibly losing his head over a girl.  
  
  
  
"Thank you, Mrs. Evans, the tea was delicious."  
  
"Why, thank you, James!" Mrs. Evans beamed at the smiling boy, pleased that her youngest daughter had found such a catch. James beamed back, equally pleased that Lily's parents seemed to approve of him. "Lily, Petunia, why don't you help me bring the plates back into the kitchen, hm? We'll leave the boys out here to talk awhile."  
  
Lily and Petunia quickly jumped to their feet, obliging their mother, only too happy that their boyfriends appeared to be making such a good impression on their mother. Lily reached out to collect James' cup and smiled brilliantly at him, her hair falling in a thick veil around her face as she bent closer to him, whispering, "You're doing great, James, Mum absolutely loves you!" James could only widen his grin at hearing the praise from Lily's lips as he watched his girlfriend skip into the kitchen behind her mother and sister.  
  
Turning back to Sirius and Vernon, James thought he could just barely detect Vernon muttering quietly to himself.  
  
"He seems sane enough," Vernon murmured beneath his breath, remembering Petunia's warning of the "strange boys" that may be visiting Lily. "So, James, Do you volunteer at the sanitarium often?"  
  
James glanced over at Sirius who merely shrugged, "No, why do you ask?"  
  
"Oh, I just assumed that's where you met Lily."  
  
"How do you mean?"  
  
Vernon looked slightly taken aback, "You mean you don't know? God, Petunia told me ages ago! Typical behavior I suppose, don't pop the news 'till your hitched and saddled with a few kids and it's too late, though you'd probably notice by then . . . unless, of course! Her medication!"  
  
"Excuse me," James broke in, a bit bewildered by the older man's rambling, "but what are you going on about?"  
  
Vernon blinked as if just remembering the other two were there. "Right, sorry, I only just met Lily days ago when she came parading around in robes, thinking she was some kind of wizardress," he chuckled, "I realized right away it must be because of the condition Petunia had informed me of, of course, when I heard about her condition I offered to refer her to my father – he's quite a well-known doctor, you know – but Petunia would have none of it," he shook his head, emphasizing the insanity of the situation. "I guess she just wanted to keep it within the family."  
  
James coughed, clearing his throat, "I'm sorry, Vernon, but I don't quite follow you."  
  
"Oh, don't you, James? Vernon, here, is implying that our Lils is a kook, a mental case, insane," Sirius shook in silent laughter at the idea.  
  
"Lily? Insane? Are you mad?" James gaped at Vernon, contemplating the inner workings of his fragile muggle mind.  
  
"No, I'm not mad, and yes she is insane! Where do you think she spends the year?"  
  
"At school, with me!"  
  
"I daresay not, her own sister informed me that your girlfriend currently resides in London's finest sanitarium."  
  
"No, Lily spends the year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with me and Sirius!" James' voice was shaking with rage.  
  
"School of witchcraft and wizadry?" Vernon chortled again at the thought, "My good fellow, you must be joking!"  
  
"I'm not joking! Lily's a witch and I'm a wizard!"  
  
"My word, you're acting mad as well!" Vernon began to rise from his chair.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" James bellowed.  
  
"To inform Mr. Evans that you need to be restrained."  
  
"Oh no you don't! Locomotor mortis!" a flash o flight filled the air and Vernon fell to the couch, his legs locked tightly together. (a/n: I'm not positive that this is the function of locomotor mortis . . . but I'm too lazy to go look it up, please let me know if I'm wrong!)  
  
"Petunia! Mr. Evans! Help!" Vernon rasped, his eyes wide with terror.  
  
"Oh, bad move, Prongs, should've used the full body-binding curse on him," Sirius, who had been watching the whole scene in amusement, advised.  
  
"Shut it, Siir," James glared furiously at Vernon as Petunia and Lily ran into the room. Quickly muttering the countercurse, James turned towards Lily, "Hello Lils, Petunia," he nodded at each in turn.  
  
Lily cocked her head to the side, looking at James questioningly.  
  
"Vernon?" Petunia's high-pitched tone was coated in anxiety. "Whatever is the matter?"  
  
"He, she, but, not possible," an ashen-faced Vernon spluttered, looking as though he was the one in need of therapy.  
  
"Lils, I think it's best we leave the happy couple alone for awhile," Sirius spoke, warding off any unwanted questions. "How 'bout you collect your things and we'll head to Godric's Hallow?"  
  
Still clanking nervously at Petunia who was cooing over Vernon, Lily quickly agreed, knowing it was best to question the two marauders later. Scurrying out of the room, quickly followed by James and Sirius, Lily muttered quietly so that only the two boys could hear, "You two have a lot of explaining to do."  
  
  
  
And that's all for now! I'm sorry there wasn't more of a "meet the parent's" scene, but I wanted the chapter to revolve mainly around the anxiety and James meeting Vernon. I wish my muse had cooperated a bit more, but I'm currently fight a bit of writer's block, and I really didn't have much time to work on this chapter . . . there will NOT be another update 'till June 9th or 10th, I'm really sorry, but my exams start Friday and if I don't study . . . yeah, anyways, please review! Your reviews really make my day and they're the only things that are going to get me through these hectic two weeks! 


	20. Burning Anxiety

A/N: Hey, sorry for the long delay, my muse has once again abandoned me, so I've got a terrible case of writer's block, but I intend to see this story through . . . it will probably end sometime this summer seeing as how I've got at least 120 hours on the beach, 33 hours on 7 or 8 different planes, 20 or so hours in a car, and numerous hours spent in a lonesome hotel . . . don't I sound like I'm having a lovely summer?  
  
Disclaimer: As well as not owning anything recognizable as J.K. Rowling's, the "self-preservation" line is from "Love Actually" I loved that line, I couldn't help but use it, that guy was cute too . . .  
  
  
  
"I'm afraid to ask, but what happened back there? With Vernon?" Lily half closed her eyes, bracing herself for the response. She, James, and Sirius had apparated into a small grove just on the outskirts of the sleepy little town where James lived.  
  
When James didn't answer, Lily turned her gleaming eyes to Sirius who gleefully replied, "Well, you see, Vernon said some things that didn't sit very well with James, and we all know that Jamsie here has an awful temper, so when Vernon mentioned he was going to find Mr. Evans and report that James needed to be restrained, James did the only logical thing and bound his legs with magic."  
  
"You what?" Lily stared at James, half-horrified, half-amused.  
  
"Lils, I'm sorry! He just set me off, what was I supposed to do? He was saying awful things about you!" James bit back his lip, not sure if he should let it slip that Petunia had fed Vernon all the lies.  
  
"Of course he was saying horrible things! He's marrying Petunia after all," Lily rolled her eyes, trying not to live up to her reputation as a fiery red-head, now would not be a good time to lose her temper.  
  
James gaped at her, amazed by how unfazed she seemed by the whole situation, "Lily! Your sister told her fiancé that you spent the year in an asylum! Vernon was degrading your intelligence, continuously saying that you're insane! How can that not bother you?"  
  
"I never said it didn't bother me," Lily replied softly, her emerald eyes iced over in inner pain, "but it's not the first time, nor the last, that I will face discrimination. I'm a muggle-born witch, James, I don't belong in either world. In the muggle word I'm seen as a freak, and in your world I'm seen as lower than the purebloods. I have to appear unfazed by it all, it's . . . self-preservation." She trailed off, averting her eyes, making it clear that the subject was no longer open for discussion.  
  
James stared at the ground, scuffing his toe through the dirt as the unbearable silence pressed down on him from all angles. How could he have not known all the pain Lily went through every day? Never feeling as though she completely belonged in either world, what kind of boyfriend was he, to not have realized his girlfriend's hidden insecurities? If anyone questioned him later, asking if he had known about Lily's inner traumas, he would reply in his arrogant manner that of course he knew, but inside the battles would rage, furious at himself for not knowing about his girlfriend.  
  
As the trio approached Godric's Hollow, Lily could feel her stomach repeatedly knotting itself, causing her to regret the numerous biscuits she'd eaten earlier that morning. Waves of nausea washed over her, leaving her feeling weak with apprehension. She could hardly pay attention as James explained the many impenetrable charms protecting his home as well as the homes of most aurors. Usually she would have been fascinated by the idea of such charms – ones that hid the homes unless the address was given by a secret-keeper, anti-apparating charms, houses that could only be entered when let in by those from inside – charms that would have kept her mind spinning for days until she had researched every one of them could not quell the growing dread inside her.  
  
By the time they arrived at Godric's Hollow, Lily was so immersed in her anxiety that she did not notice as James stopped to converse with the front door, nor did she notice their arrival, instead she proceeded walking only to collide with the stationery boys.  
  
"What the – oof!" James gasped as he feel hard against the door, crushed beneath Sirius and Lily.  
  
"Sorry," Lily mumbled, but before she could right herself, the door opened, sending the three sprawling to the ground.  
  
"Ow, James, get your knee out of my a-oh, hullo Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter," Sirius blinked innocently up at James' parents, silently berating himself for not assuming that they were the ones who had opened the door.  
  
James quickly untangled himself from the web of twisted limbs, sending Sirius crashing to the hard marble surface. He offered his hand to Lily, gallantly hoisting her to her feet before turning to his parents, earning a sarcastic "Oh, don't mind me, I'm quite enjoying my lay on the floor, it's quite comfortable." Grinning in spite of the nervousness within her, Lily reached down for Sirius' outstretched hand, pulling him up as James spoke, "Hullo Mum, Dad, um, I'd like you to meet Lily Evans."  
  
Lily hastily released her hold of Sirius' hand, stretching her arm out to accept the greetings of the Potters. "It's so nice to meet you," Lily gushed, trying not to sound too desperate for acceptance.  
  
"Same, m'dear, we've heard oh-so much about you!" Mrs. Potter smiled welcomingly.  
  
"Yes, I was beginning to wonder when we'd meet the famous Lily Evans." James groaned inwardly at his father's comment, yet Lily's smile just grew brighter. She could tell already she was going to enjoy the company of these two.  
  
  
  
Half an hour later, Lily found herself chatting comfortably in the Potter's den, all anxiety forgotten in the presence of her boyfriend's parents. James sat beside her on an ancient loveseat, covering her hand with his own as if to remind everyone one that she was his girlfriend.  
  
"So, Lily, have you any thoughts on what you'd like to do after Hogwarts?" Mr. Potter questioned conversationally as their talk had already been turned towards school.  
  
Lily paused for a moment, considering the question, "I'm not too sure, actually, I'm quite interested in charms, it's easily my best and favorite subject . . ."  
  
"And best is an understatement," James chimed in, causing Lily to blush furiously.  
  
"But I'm not quite sure how I want to apply that after school. I suppose it would be useful in any kind of auror training, though I'm not sure that it's for me. I guess I'm really not quite sure." Lily shrugged, noticing the slight glance the Potters had exchanged when she mentioned aurors.  
  
As the conversation began to wind down, Mrs. Potter suddenly turned towards James, "I can't believe I only just thought to ask, James, dear, how was tea this morning?"  
  
The three teenagers exchanged glances, each unsure of how to respond. "It was . . . fine," James finally answered, trying to maintain a calm composure.  
  
"Just fine?" Mrs. Potter stared piercingly at him, wheedling down his confidence.  
  
"Yes . . ." James murmured, his voice becoming decidedly weaker.  
  
"It was lovely, Mrs. Potter," Lily spoke up, earning herself to shocked stares from the boys, each unsure of where this rebellious streak had been aroused. Lily was quite unsure herself, but now that she had spoken, she felt she had to continue. "My parents simply adored James, and we had a lovely chat with my sister and her fiancé. I think that with such a short time, the boys got along as best as could be expected." She held her breath, praying the Potters would buy her lie.  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Oh yes," Lily and the boys nodded vigorously.  
  
"Well, I'm glad to hear it, you won't believe some of the stunts these two have pulled," Mrs. Potter smiled at James and Sirius affectionately, "It's good to hear that they may finally have been learning some manners."  
  
"Oh yes, they can be quite the gentlemen." Lily bit back her tongue, afraid she may be overdoing it.  
  
"Well, it's been a long day for you three, James, why don't you and Sirius show Lily to her room? I daresay she may be wishing a bit of a break from you two."  
  
"Yes, mum," James rose to his feet, and he and Sirius led the way out of the den. As Lily followed the two boys she swore Mrs. Potter gave her a slight wink. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw the woman smile and nod before moving to collect the tea trays.  
  
  
  
A/N: I know that's really short, and I'm really sorry, but I get on a plane in a few hours and well, I didn't have time to type up more. I swear the next chapter will be up soon, maybe not within this week seeing as I'm not quite sure if I have internet access, but the moment I can I'll post it up. If it takes awhile, then I guarantee it will be a long chapter. I already have it started, and I've got 7 or so hours on a plane tonight in which to work on it.  
  
Thanks especially Princess Shadowcat, it's your review that got this chapter up. Yours came about a week after the others and managed to pull me out of a horrible bout of writer's block. Thanks for such a sweet review!  
  
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please please review! 


	21. Beautiful Nightmares

A/N: Hey all! I've finally got internet access!!! Thanks for all the reviews!! You have no idea how good that makes me feel oh, in response to Killerscissors, James and Lily are going out at the moment, and thanks especially to Lady Riddle for the sweet review!!!  
  
Heavy footsteps echoed through the empty halls of Godric's Hallow as James gave Lily a quick tour of his home. Lily attempted to suppress her amazement as James led her up to the winding staircase to the bedroom floor. Pleasantly faced witches and wizards smiled down at Lily from the many gilded portraits lining the second floor hallway.  
  
"So . . ." James began tentatively, "What do you think so far?"  
  
"It's amazing!" Lily gushed breathlessly, knowing that no words could ever describe the breath-stealing abilities of Godric's Hallow.  
  
James released his breath in a contented sigh, "Well, there are only three rooms left, Sirius', the guest room, and mine." He involuntarily held his breath again, as if expecting her to protest, to ask him to just show her to the guest room and leave her be, but Lily just smiled and waited for the tour to continue.  
  
Striding over to the door on the far right, James gave three sharp knocks before hollering, "Hey, Sirius, you decent?"  
  
Sirius poked his head through the door questioningly but as James cocked his head towards Lily he smiled and opened his door wide.  
  
Lily and James stepped inside and Lily grinned in spite of herself. The room was different than that of muggle boys, yet it was visibly the room of a teenage boy. Half-eaten boxes of chocolate frogs littered the floor along with numerous purchases from Zonkos. What set Sirius apart from most boys was the immaculate state of his robes and muggle clothing stacked neatly in drawers and hung in their stately forms in the spacious closets.  
  
"So, this is Sirius' mess of a room-" James started.  
  
"Mess?" Sirius snorted, "She obviously hasn't seen your room yet."  
  
Lily tried to hide her smile as she contributed to the teasing, "Why? How bad is his room?"  
  
"Oh, I'm sure he probably straightened it before you came, you know, swept the dirt under the rug and all that, but usually it looks like a disaster area. You know, the beach after a hurricane, a field after a tornado, a-"  
  
"All right! Sirius, I'm sure she gets it." James' face had flushed with embarrassment.  
  
Lily laughed at James' meek expression and swiftly kissed his cheek. "I'm sure it's not that bad," she giggled. "C'mon, let's go."  
  
As James led Lily out the door, Sirius called out "Remember, Lils, if James' room is too frightening for you, I'm still single!"  
  
Lily dissolved into another fit of giggles as James strode back and slammed Sirius' door, "What does he mean he's still single? He's going out with Kelly!"  
  
"Actually," James hesitated, "Sirius received an owl from her two days ago, she dumped him for that Davies bloke."  
  
The smile vanished from Lily's face, "You're joking!"  
  
"I wish I was,"  
  
"But, why?" Lily stared incredulously at James.  
  
A sarcastic smirk spread across his face, "I guess it was easier for her to date someone from her own house. (A/N: More like I continuously forgot to write her in . . .) You know, same qualities and all. Anyways," he trailed off as they approached a hand-carved mahogany door, the word "James" etched across the arch, "Well, here it is." The door swung open to reveal a room that Lily could only imagine reflected all the qualities of James Potter.  
  
A deep green comforter graced a queen-sized bed with a mahogany frame. Posters of fast moving quidditch players plastered the walls, hiding the wall's true color, faded comic books of "Marvin the Mad Muggle" (A/N: I don't have the fourth book with me now, so if that's wrong, please correct me!) lay scattered across the floor occasionally joined by a stray sock or two, but most of James' clothes seemed to have found their way to a closet or drawer. Old or forgotten school books were tacked neatly in a corner and numerous quidditch books peeked out from under James' bed as if they'd been shoved there as an afterthought. Emrys was sleeping in a golden cage atop a mahogany (a/n: can you tell I like mahogany? ) roll-top desk along with a countless number of unfinished letters and quill stubs. A smeared black line trickled down the leg of the desk, just below a deep scorch mark, suggesting to Lily that James frequently knocked over candles and inkpots. But what intrigued Lily the most were the few muggle devices James had scattered about his room; curving around his bed post was a metallic, flexible lamp, a record player lay between stacks of records labeled with numerous recognizable muggle bands, and a polished phone lay atop the desk.  
  
"James, where did you get this?" Lily walked across to his night stand, lifting a miniature in her hand.  
  
James stood in the doorway shuffling his feet, the blood rushing to his cheeks "Emmeline Vance took it at a quidditch match a while ago. She gave it to Remus 'cause she knew you two were friends, and, erm, he gave it to me because he knew I er . . . fancied you . . ." James mumbled, his face redder than he was sure it had ever been in his life.  
  
Lily smiled as she gazed at the picture. She had a wool-knit cap pulled over her ears and was furiously waving a Gryffindor flag. The wind was pulling her hair in dizzy circles around her head as she laughed into the camera. She remembered that day, cheering as Gryffindor scored another goal, laughing at Emmeline to get the camera out of her face.  
  
"So, Emmeline took this picture and gave it to Remus who gave it to you?"  
  
"It's pathetic, I know," James muttered.  
  
"Pathetic is about the farthest thing from my mind," Lily smiled, placing the picture back on the nightstand she walked over to James, "I think it's sweet." She slipped her arms around James' waist, embracing him. "Hey, you've got a picture of me but I don't have one of you." Lily pushed out her lower lip, causing James to laugh at her faked pouting.  
  
"C'mon," he laughed affectionately, "let's show you to your room."  
  
Beads of glistening sweat clung to his brow as James tossed and turned, green sheets scrunched to a ball at his feet. The pain etched across his face was not the appearance of a dreamer, but one of a child consumed in a nightmare.  
  
James Potter stood alone in an inky-black room void of light. Misty tendrils enshrouded him, curling about his limbs as he stood stock-still amidst it all. "Hello?" he called out tentatively, "Is anyone there?" High-pitched cackling answered his call, chilling his bones. "Lumos," he muttered, hoping that the gift of visibility would aid his predicament. The light at the tip of his wand cast ghostly shadows through darkened space. He placed one shaky foot after another, trying to force his way through the thickening fog, when another form began to emerge from the depths of the mist.  
  
"Hello?" James called again, "is someone there?"  
  
A frightening chill crept down James' spine as his parents stepped forth from the fog, eyes wide and blank, faces full of fear. "James," his father mouthed, James' mother clinging to his side, "Run!"  
  
Before James could respond a flash of green light exploded from the fog, illuminating the void. "Mom? Dad?" James murmured weakly, casting his wand around, the light landed on two stiff corpses of his parents. "No, no . . ." he backed away in horror, not wanting to believe what he was seeing.  
  
"James?" A hoarse voice spoke from behind him. James whirled around to see a pallid Sirius standing there. "James, he's here."  
  
"Sirius, what are you talking about, who's here?" James grabbed his friend's shoulders, trying to shake him back into logical sense.  
  
"He is." Another voice whispered from the shadows.  
  
James spun around to see Remus and Peter approaching. "Not you two too!" He groaned. "Moony, what is with you?"  
  
"You need to run, James," Sirius began again, "He knows, he's after you." Sirius' eyes darted back and forth between Remus and Peter before taking James aside and whispering, "Switch to Peter, he knows I'm your secret keeper, you need to switch to Peter."  
  
"Sirius, I don't understa-"  
  
"James," a soft, lilting voice cut him off. James turned to see Lily standing with a baby wrapped in her arms. "Sirius is right, we need to go."  
  
Before James could respond, a low muttering filtered in through the fog, followed by another blinding flash of green light. "No!" he screamed as Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Lily fell to the ground, the baby tumbling from Lily's limp arms as she hit the ground. High-pitched cackling filled the air yet again, mixed with the baby's wails. James sunk to his knees, cradling his head in his hands as he sobbed. The shadows surrounding him changed from the deepening black to a brilliant blood-red. "No," James moaned, "Sirius, Lily, Remus, no!"  
  
As his sobbing began to subside and the baby's wailing dimmed, James could hear a new sound protruding from the bloody mist. "James! James!" a voice sobbed in terror, "James!"  
  
James Potter started, sitting straight up in his bed, sheets in a tangled mess around his ankles. Panting hard, he looked around his room. "A dream," he murmured reassuringly to himself, "It was just a dream."  
  
"James!" The frightened scream rang again, echoing down the hall. Now consciously awake, James recognized the alarmed voice as Lily's.  
  
Kicking the tangled sheets off from around his ankles, James bolted out of bed and down the hall, his bare feet smacking hard against the wooden floor. Throwing open the guest room door without the slightest hesitation, James caught sight of a sobbing Lily writhing on the bed, covers twisted about her body, confining her movements.  
  
"Lily, shh, Lily, it's okay," James fled to her side, trying to shake her from the nightmare, "Lily, wake up!"  
  
"James?" Lily blinked up through tears, "Is it really you?"  
  
"Yeah, Lily, I'm here." He smiled.  
  
"Oh, James! It was awful! I thought, I thought," she coked between sobs, "I thought you were dead! There was this green flash, and you fell, and I took the baby and ran, and he came after me and, oh, James!" She flung her arms around him and sobbed into his night shirt as he patted her shoulder awkwardly, murmuring to her in a soothing voice. "Shh, Lily, it's okay, it was just a dream, nothing more. Everything's all right."  
  
But as Lily's sobs began to settle and she relaxed in his arms, James couldn't help but reflect nervously on what she'd said about the green flash and baby, both of which had also taken place in his own dream. 'Baby,' James thought to himself, 'we have a baby.'HeH  
  
A/N: I know the idea of James having Lily's picture is extremely overused, but I quite like the idea, I think it's cute, so forgive me for adding it in here. Oh, and I'm just going to assume that Emmeline wasn't a Gryffindor and was in the same year as Lily and James. The dreams are also overused, but what can I say? I guess I'm not very original. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! Please review!!! 


	22. The Dark is Near

A/N: Wow, I know it's been a long time since I last updated, but I'm taking a writing course so that's been keeping me a lot busier than I expected. Anyways, in response to chprincess, yes, Emrys is another form of the name Merlin. In the series "The Lost Years of Merlin," Merlin is originally named Emrys before deciding to take on the new name of Merlin. So, I hope you all like this chapter!  
===  
  
"Well, well, well, doesn't this look cozy?" an amused voice filtered into the room along with morning sunlight, causing James to stir. As he shifted his weight, James felt the strange sensation of blood rushing to his fingers. Peeling open his eyes he noticed Sirius standing smirking in the doorway. Before he could respond, James noticed a flash of red out the corner of his eye. Glancing down, memories of the past night came flooding back to him – his nightmare, waking to Lily's screams, Lily's nightmare, Lily falling asleep on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her waist, and him falling asleep as well.  
  
"Er, look, Sirius," James tried to remove his arm without waking Lily, "this is not what you think."  
  
"Oh?" Sirius' smirk widened, a malicious glint in his eyes. "I'm not sure I agree with you, and I have a feeling Moony won't either."  
  
James' eyes widened as Sirius waved a magically enhanced Polaroid photograph in the air. "Padfoot, you didn't."  
  
"Oh, I did."  
  
"But you wouldn't dare . . ."  
  
"Oh, yes I would!"  
  
"Padfoot! Just wait 'till I get my hands on you!"  
  
"You're going to have to get up first, Prongs, and to do that you'll have to wake sleeping beauty here." Sirius quipped, "Hm, I bet your mum would absolutely love to see this picture."  
  
"Sirius, don't you dare! I swear, I'll rip you limb from limb!" James' threat was lost on Sirius as he cheerfully waved and apparated out of the room, leaving James alone to roil in his fury.  
  
His anger, however, didn't last long; fore no more than 5 minutes after Sirius had gone, Lily had rolled over, murmuring from her sleep. "Mmm," she opened her bleary eyes, smiling at James' blurry face. "Hey,"  
  
"Hey yourself," James' famous arrogant smile split across his face causing Lily to burst into peels of laughter. "What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing really," she giggled, "you just look so cocky when you smile like that."  
  
"I do not!" James scoffed, a look of mock hurt spreading across his face.  
  
"Do too," Lily teased, lifting her head off of James' shoulder and staring mischievously at him.  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"Do too!"  
  
"Do not, do not, do not!" James' fingers mad their way down Lily's side, tickling her all the way.  
  
"Okay, okay!" Lily gasped between bouts of unrestrained laughter. "You win, you win! Please have mercy!"  
  
"So I'm not cocky?" he teased, refusing to capitulate.  
  
"No!" Lily laughed, her face bright red, her eyes on the verge of tearing, "You don't look cocky, you're not cocky, no!"  
  
When James finally released Lily, a satisfied smirk gracing his face, Lily rolled across the bed, gasping for air as James watched from afar, a dignified expression upon his countenance. "Besides," he began proudly, "even if I did look like you said, I'm not cocky, just self-assured."  
  
"Amazingly self-assured," a grin broke across Lily's face as outrage broke across James', "I'm only teasing!" Lily began to inch forward across the bed.  
  
Watching her crawl towards him, James was overwhelmed by the beauty Lily seemed to hold. Her face was veiled by cascading ripples of fiery hair that remained radiant even when scrunched in a tousled mess all one side from having been slept on. Her eyes, still rimmed with the remnants of sleep, sparkled in a suggestive manner whenever she smiled at him. Peaches and cream skin marred by the corrugated patterns of James' shirt still felt soft to the touch as she traced her hand along his face. To be honest, James felt he had never witnessed more beauty in his life than when he saw her there – no poems, paintings, sunsets, or sunrises could possibly contain such radiance as Lily, his Lily. (a/n: sorry, got a bit carried away, but what can I say? I'm a sucker for romance)  
  
"Thank you," Lily whispered as she nestled against him, her head finding its rightful place on his shoulder.  
  
James stared at her bewilderedly, "What for?"  
  
"This, last night," she murmured, "everything. For not giving up on me."  
  
"I almost did," he whispered back.  
  
"Right when I began to see something in you," she smiled, "we're quite a pair, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, we are."  
  
===  
  
"So, Lily, did you get a good night's sleep?"  
  
Lily, Sirius, and James were sitting around an old oak table, quietly spreading peanut butter on thick loaves of bread for their lunchtime meal. "Mmm?" Lily looked up, fingers sticky with strawberry jam, and smiled warily at Sirius, "Oh, yes, very well, thank you."  
  
"That's good," Sirius nodded innocently, "no late disturbances then?"  
  
"No," she answered slowly, clutching the jam knife defensively, "why do you ask?"  
  
"Oh, no reason," Sirius replied lightly, waggling his eyebrows at James.  
  
Choking on his sandwich, James quickly gulped down his milk as Sirius slammed his back, trying not to laugh.  
  
Hand and knife frozen above her sandwich, Lily's eyes flew back and forth between the two boys; Sirius trying to keep a straight face as James' hazel eyes blazed in a fiery glare. "Am I missing something?" she questioned hesitantly.  
  
Before either of the boys could respond, a frazzled Mrs. Potter apparated into the kitchen, her face etched with worry.  
  
"Mum?" James dropped his sandwich on the table, hurrying to his mother's side, "what's wrong?"  
  
Liquid brown eyes full to the brim with anxiety turned on her son, "James, darling, there's been another attack, just outside of London. Three muggle- born wizards are dead, along with four muggles, some of the aurors believe this was just the beginning a preview of things to come. There's a wizarding convention in Manchester tonight, Alastor Moody believes it to be the next target of the Death Eaters. They need all the help they can get, your father and I have been called in to work tonight."  
  
"So, are you on guard duty?" James questioned in a seemingly non- interested voice.  
  
"You know I can't tell you that, and you shouldn't be asking," she replied austerely.  
  
"But Mum,"  
  
"No buts, James. You know the rules, even if your father and I knew where we're going to be posted or how long we'll be gone, we couldn't tell you." Pausing to collect herself, Mrs. Potter gave a brusque smile to Lily before continuing, "Your father and I aren't sure how long our assistance will be required, but until we return home the three of you are not to leave the house. James, Sirius, I mean it, stay in the house and no matter who is at the door do not let anyone in, anyone." After studying the boys' innocent countenances carefully, Mrs. Potter turned to Lily, giving another wry smile. "Lily, darling, I really do hate to leave you like this, especially after just meeting yesterday, but will you do me a favor?"  
  
"Anything, Mrs. Potter."  
  
The older woman smiled, shaking her head, "It's a tough task, but I'd like you to watch after the boys for me. We both know how irresponsible children can be." She winked as Lily tried to restrain her laughing smile.  
  
"Sure, I think I can handle that." She returned the wink as Sirius and James mouthed expletives behind their mother's back. (a/n: Sirius has been living with then long enough that I'm going to consider him part of the family)  
  
"Oh, come here, you two!" Mrs. Potter laughed, tears clouding the corners of her eyes. The two boys obediently shuffled forward into their mother's open arms, secretly enjoying the feel of a mother's embrace, a feeling that seemed so sacred, so precious, during the span of turmoil that was spreading throughout the country. Lily watched on with tears in her eyes as James kissed his mother's cheek, feeling endlessly surprised by this new side of James Potter.  
  
===  
  
A/N: I didn't like this chapter much, but I felt I had to put it up anyways. I hope you all liked it! Keep up the reviews, you don't know how much they mean to me! 


	23. A Well Chosen Friend

A/N: Sorry it's taken awhile for this chapter to go up, the fanfic website was doing weird things and wouldn't let me upload this or any other documents. I'm not to sure I like this chapter, but I felt I needed something more before they arrived back at school so here it is. I hope it's not too disappointing.

**vickiicky** - haha and I've been so careful!! I keep writing Potter and then going back and changing it to Evans shakes head Anyways, thanks for the correction!

**htebazile9851** – Thanks for pointing that out! When I had originally began the story I had decided that I wasn't going to mess with the whole James saving Snape's life thing, but when I noticed Sirius was beginning to feel left out (I had forgotten I'd mentioned the life saving thing earlier in the story) I decided I'd go ahead and give it a shot. Thanks for the correction!

= = =

"They've been gone for thirteen hours," James murmured for the twelfth time that evening as he paced back and forth across the room.

"James," Lily whispered reassuringly for the twelfth time, "I'm sure they're fine."

James paused momentarily, looking at Lily as if contemplating what she'd said, before shaking his head and resuming his pacing. Lily and Sirius looked on helplessly, unsure of what to say to calm their friend.

"Sirius," Lily whispered, inching closer to him on the plush carpet, "we've got to do something."

"I'm working on it," he muttered, rubbing is temple in thought.

"Well, work faster," she hissed through clenched teeth.

"If you're so worried why don't _you_ do something?" he retorted sharply.

"Like what?"

"I dunno, why don't you try and seduce him or something?" Sirius muttered, knowing well how the comment would set Lily off.

Lily opened her mouth angrily, then closed it and, much to Sirius' surprise, rose to her feet with a determined glint in her eyes. Slipping up behind James, Lily slid her arms around his neck, placing her palms flat against his chest. Her hair veiled her face, tickling James' neck as she leaned in closer, whispering in his ear, "James, I'm sure your parents are all right, it's late, why don't you come sit with us?" She finished her act by softly kissing his cheek.

When Lily received no reaction, she threw her boyfriend a disgusted look before surrendering and returning to her spot on the floor. "A lot of good that did," she muttered, "Got any more brilliant ideas?"

Sirius' eyes slid sideways, shifting his gaze to Lily, "Just one." He rose to his feet, nervously patting his pockets, and from the look on his face Lily could tell Sirius would do this for no one other than James. Screwing up his face in determination, Sirius slipped up behind James, sliding his arms around James' neck in the same fashion as Lily. Shaking his shaggy black hair, Sirius whispered seductively, "Hey, James," when he received little reaction, Sirius impulsively whirled his friend around, kissing him full on the lips. James' eyes widened in horror, spluttering as he threw Sirius' arms off of him.

"Ugh, Sirius, what gives?" James spit between each word, trying to wipe the memory of Sirius' kiss from his mind.

Sirius looked equally revolted, "Don't think for a minute that I enjoyed that any more than you did. But we had to jar you out of that misery somehow."

Lily rolled along the carpet, sides aching as she laughed at the two boys staring daggers at each other.

"Couldn't you have found another way to do it?" James hissed angrily.

"You weren't responding to anything else," Lily giggled uncontrollably. "Besides, it certainly was enlightening, I wasn't aware you and Sirius were so fond of each other!"

"Don't forget," Sirius retorted haughtily, "You're the one who couldn't' seduce your own boyfriend."

Lily froze mid-laugh, sinking deeper into the carpet, glaring at Sirius with eyes brimming temporary hatred. Thinking of no better come back, she childishly stuck her tongue out at Sirius, sending the group into a fresh peal of laughter.

"I was really that far gone?" James questioned incredulously.

"Lily, the girl you've dreamed about kissing for 7 years couldn't even reach you? Yeah, you were long gone." Sirius smirked.

A slow blush crept up James' cheeks as he glanced at Lily, burning humiliation rising within him.

All anger within Lily quickly subsided as she watched James struggling with the words to apologize. "It's all right James," she murmured quietly, "You're going through a hard time, I know, but worrying about your parents isn't going to do anything to help them. You've got to relax."

James nodded, "Yeah, you're right." He glanced at the clock, chiming 2 a.m., then glanced at his friends' tired faces. "C'mon, we're leaving for school tomorrow, let's go get some sleep."

= = =

Sleep drifted lazily above Lily's eyes, slowly beginning to shadow her tired mind, when soft sniffling shifted her from her reverie. Lying still against her bed, holding her breath, she waited silently, straining her ears for the sound. Silence filled the near empty manor, ringing her ears with its haunting chords, and just as Lily was about to give in to sleep, the sound came again. Gently extracting herself from her bed, Lily padded barefooted down the hall, past James' open door, and slowly nudged Sirius' open. "Siir?" she questioned hesitantly, "Sirius?" The bare-chested boy grunted in response, muttering sleepily something about Quidditch fouls, and rolled over, his hollow snoring filling the room. Satisfied, Lily traipsed back down the hall to James' room and nervously stepped inside. "James?"

The sniffling abruptly stopped, followed by a heavy swallow and the shaky reply of someone who'd been caught in an act forbidden to them, "Li-lily?"

Lily's heart swelled as the dark form of James' arms quickly wiped tears from his cheeks. "James," she whispered, "there's nothing to be ashamed of; it's all right to cry."

"I wasn't crying," he stubbornly whispered back, "I just can't get to sleep."

Lily padded across the room, cautiously feeling her way through the dark. "James Potter," she climbed atop his bed, wrapping her arms around him in a fierce hug, "don't you ever lie to me."

James sniffled in reply, a hot tear falling from his burning eyes and onto Lily's pale cheek.

A soothing sigh of sympathy caught in Lily's throat as she pulled James close to her, holding him as a mother would hold her child. Her hand moved rhythmically up and down his back, relaxing his muscles and lulling him closer to the sleep he'd been so afraid of. "James," she whispered, her breath tickling his ear, "You know I'm always here to listen if you ever need to talk."

He nodded into her shoulder, searching out her hand with trembling fingers. "I'm just so scared for them, Lily, I don't want to lose them."

"I know, James, I know." She sighed heavily, rocking her boyfriend back and forth until he fell asleep in her arms.

= = =

Mari

How's Easter been with the other half of the Marauders? Everything going well with Remus? Things are all right there, I suppose. James' parents were called in by the aurors so he's worried himself into a state of insomnia. I can't wait to return to Hogwarts. I know you think I'm crazy, what with NEWTs coming up and all, but I miss you! Though James and Sirius are great, I'm seriously lacking in the area of girl talk and someone to confide in. I'll see you tomorrow!

All My Love Lily

= = =

A/N: I'm sorry this was so short, I suppose I could have continued onto the next day, but I thought it best to end here and actually get a chapter posted. The next one should be much longer, as long as I get around to writing it . . . I have it started, I promise! Anyways, please review and let me know what you think! The more reviews I receive, the sooner the next chapter gets up!


	24. The Attack of Safety

A/N: Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated, and I am so sorry . . . but school's started and it's proving to be a lot more stressful than the past year, so I haven't really had all that much free time on my hands. 5 minutes here or there to check my e-mail, but never long enough to write, type, or post. But I AM back!!!

I've gone over this chapter thousands of times . . . and I'm still not satisfied with it. It's another transition chapter, and I know it's not that great, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway!

**Lils**

Hey girl! I'm going crazy being cooped in this castle without you! You think it's hard being stuck with James and Sirius, try a week alone with Remus and Peter! You know I love Remus, but he's been really down lately and quite curt whenever I try to talk to him, and you know as well as I do how dull Peter is. I tried meeting up with Kelly but she's been avoiding Gryffindors like a plague. I saw her walking around the lake hand-in-hand with Davies! What's up with that? I thought she was with Sirius! I would have asked Remus but he's been really tetchy whenever someone mentions Sirius' name, and when I asked Peter he nearly burst in to tears claiming that no one ever tells him anything. So, you see, no matter how bad it is there, it's a lot worse here. Just thought you should know what you're getting into!

**The One & Only Maren**

Sunlight streamed through shafts in the window, dancing across Lily's eyelids. Turning her head away from the light, she buried her face deeper into James' chest. Lying there, entwined in her boyfriend's arms, Lily realized that she'd never felt so completely safe in the entirety of her life. The billowing comforter was tucked protectively around them, encasing them like a shield, and the spicy scent of James' soap filled Lily with each breath she took. Briefly, Lily realized she'd be content to spend the rest of her life in this moment, completely enveloped in James' arms.

Shaking sleep from her eyes, Lily rolled over, her sleep-blurred vision adjusting to her surroundings as she gazed at the blinking alarm clock. 10:15. The time barely registered in her mind before she shot up, tumbling out of James' arms and onto the floor. Panicked, she hastily shook her boyfriend, yelling, "James! We've overslept! We're going to miss the train!"

"Sirius!" Lily yelled from the entrance of King's Crossing Station, "C'mon, we're going to miss the train!"

After oversleeping, missing the knight bus, scrambling to write a note to the still missing Potters, and catching a Muggle taxi cab, Lily, James, and Sirius had made it to the station with five minutes to spare. The bustling post-holiday crowd of Muggles stared bewilderedly at the strange assortment of wizarding objects piled high in the teens' carts, giving the three a wide berth as they passed.

"Anyone else _not_ looking forward to going back to Hogwarts?" Sirius grumbled as he wheeled his trolley towards the frustrated Lily and impassive James.

"Not especially," James agreed with a shrug of his shoulders, running a free hand through his hair, "but it is our last year so we might as well, only a month and a half left."

Lily shook her head at the two of them, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

"Don't," Sirius began, staring at her incredulously, "tell me that you are actually _looking forward_ to going back there, to taking _hours_ worth of NEWTs, spending our last day cramming for exams!"

"No, contrary to your belief I'm _not_ looking forward to all that, but this _is_ our last year, and these tests determine our futures for us, so unless you'd rather have Filch's job, I suggest you two join me on the train." With that, Lily spun on her heel, leaving the two boys staring at her retreating back.

"So, Padfoot," James murmured beneath his breath, "you game?"

Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust, "NEWTs or Filch? Give me NEWTs any day."

Grabbing Lily's forgotten trolley, the two boys ran to catch up with her. The trio had just approached the barrier between platforms 9 ¾ when a resounding crack from behind them caused them to freeze in their tracks. "Please, let that be some stupid sixth year who just passed their apparition test and is just showing off." James muttered through gritted teeth as the three of them slowly turned around.

For James, what happened next felt like the world was spinning in its slowest motion. Lily's hair whipped him across the face, yet he barely felt the sting, Sirius drew his wand inch by inch from his jacket pocket, glancing at James uncertainly. James' eyes widened in horror as black robe-clad figures suddenly appeared in the Muggle station, their eyes darting towards the screaming Muggles, white masks hiding their visage. "Death Eaters," James murmured, the words stinging his tongue like poison as he gripped his wand defensively.

Glancing at his two closest friends, James gave an affirmative nod before raising his wand towards the nearest Death Eater and shouting "_Stupefy_!" All at once, chaos broke out within the station: Muggles screamed in terror, trying to force their ways onto a train or near the exits as they were picked off one by one. Some were sent flying into the air, only to be spun near the ceiling like hundreds of children's tops, others cowered in fear as wizards advanced, muttering curses beneath their breath. James sidestepped a particularly shaky woman who'd been a recipient of the jelly-legs curse as he made his way towards the Death Eater responsible.

"_Incarcerous!_" Coils of rope shot from James' wand, entangling the Death Eater. Holding his wand against the nape of the man's neck, James' hissed menacingly into his ear, "Who sent you?"

A coarse laugh rumbled from the man's throat, "Who do you think?" he growled.

James jammed his wand against the man's throat in frustration, "What are you doing here?" He shouted with such force that sparks flew from his wand, stinging the man's face as they fell.

"I wouldn't be so concerned about what _I'm_ doing here," the man muttered, as what's happening to your friends right now."

James whirled around in time to see Sirius fall to the ground, his body-bound by a curse. A group of five fuming Death Eaters advanced upon his friend, their wands drawn and ready. James swore beneath his breath; _trust Padfoot to take on five of them at once._ "_Mobilicorpus_," he muttered, flicking his wrist and sending the Death Eater soaring into a corner.

Sprinting towards his friend's aid, James lunged on the back of one of the sturdier looking Death Eaters, attempting to stun the others in turn as he half-strangled the one in his grasp. He had succeeded in stunning his Death Eater's four accomplices, when the one managed to throw him off, sending him tumbling to the ground. The Death Eater turned on James, boiling with rage as he advanced, preparing to tear the boy in two with his bare hands. He was sure the man would have succeeded, if Lily had not appeared behind him, using a well-placed body-bind curse.

"Thanks," he gave a strained smile as Lily gave him her hand, raising him to his feet.

"The Aurors are here," Lily murmured, "so are your parents. They said they'll handle the situation, but that they want us on the train now."

Blood boiled in James' eyes at her words, "I can't leave my parents!"

"James," she pleaded, placing her quivering hand on his arms, restraining him, "Your parents wouldn't have told you to go if they weren't worried about you. Please, listen to them. Look at Sirius, he needs help . . ."

James' eyes scanned the unconscious, bruised Sirius, overwhelming pity filling his heart. "You're right," he sighed, "Let's go."

_**Please Review!!!!!**_


	25. A Guilty Conscience

**A/N:** Hey all Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they are seriously what keeps me going!!! I know some of you are wondering how they made the train in the last chapterâ.well, what can I say? Like James noticed, it was all going in slow motion, the reality of the brawl was only a couple of minutesâ4.54 to be exact Once again, my method of splitting sections of a chapter is not appearing on the fanfic site, sorry if this has caused any confusion!

This chapter is dedicated to **katmiester** and her friends I'm glad you like it

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"Is he going to be all right?" Lily questioned later, voicing the words James could not.

Madam Pomfrey glanced over at Sirius' pallid face, his hair matted against his head with streaks of blood, cuts and bruises forming on his cheeks; pursing her lips she bent her head over the broken body, dressing his remaining wounds. "He took a nasty blow to the head, and he has a few cracked ribs, but nothing I shouldn't be able to fix. He'll be a right mess in the morning, though, in some severe pain. I don't know what you three were thinking, rushing off into that fray like that. Should have waited for the ministry wizards you should have."

Lily sank back into her chair, allowing the woman to continue her rant uninterrupted, though she expertly tuned the nurse out. What had they been thinking? For the life of her, Lily didn't know, but she half believed they'd done the right thing. They'd reached the train just as it began to pull away from the station, arriving at Hogwarts only to be ushered to the Hospital Wing by a frazzled McGonagall. They hadn't even been granted the chance to inform their friends of their whereabouts, nor had they been spoken to by any other teachers. Lily knew Maren would be in a right state when she found out what had happened, but truth be told, Lily was more worried about the punishment she believed would be dealt by the headmaster.

When Madam Pomfrey had finished telling the two of them off, she left the small enclosure where Sirius slept, giving Lily and James their "needed space for rest and relaxation," and as she moved, Lily was given a clear view of her sullen boyfriend. James sat limply on the bed adjacent to Sirius', the bandage around his head blotched with splashes of red, a swollen bruise darkening on his left cheek. Lily sighed, gently raising herself from her chair and gingerly sitting beside James on the starch white bed. "Seems we've been here more times than we can count this year, huh?" she murmured laughingly. When James didn't respond she slowly exhaled, her brow furrowing in determination, "James," she rested her hand lightly on his arm, "it's not your fault."

"I never said it was!" he muttered defensively.

"No, but I know you're thinking it. This was Sirius, plain and simple; he makes his own choices, no matter how ruthless. Even you couldn't have stopped him."

James sat in silence, digesting this last idea. "I suppose you're right," he whispered at last, "but I can't help feeling that it's my fault. I'm the one that went charging in, if I'd grabbed his wrist and turned towards the platform he wouldn't be in this mess!"

"If you'd grabbed his wrist, yeah," Lily grasped James' hand, stroking his fingers with her thumb, "but if you'd just turned he wouldn't have followed, you would have had to force him to come. He wanted to be in that fight, James, it would have always been his choice." She laid her head on his shoulder, her hair tumbling down, vibrantly glowing against his dark robes.

The two sat in an uneasy silence, each ensconced in their own memories. James tried hard not to think about Sirius' condition. Sirius, the boy he'd banded with to play pranks on the first day of school, the boy who'd later become the best friend he'd ever had, the boy who'd moved in with him when he'd had no other place to go, the boy who was closer to James than a brother ever could be . . . _"He'll be all right, James, if anyone can pull through, Sirius can."_ Lily's comforting voice caressed his mind reassuringly as her thumb caressed his hand. It was Lily's word that he had to hold on to, the only comforting thought he was capable of processing.

"What do you mean he's 'indisposed'?" A shrill yell broke the silence, causing both Lily and James to jump a foot in the air. "I don't care if he's _indecent_! Sirius Black doesn't have anything we haven't seen before!"

Lily tried to hide her growing smile as the commotion outside their enclosed curtain rose in a crescendo of irritation. "Well, I guess Maren's found us."

"Look, no offense Madam Pomfrey, but you're still a bit new here and all, and well, bed rest and isolation? Nah, that's not how things are done at Hogwarts. No, really, I respect you and all but – what? Me? Impudent? Are you sure you aren't the one who needs the bed rest? I'm sorry for being rude," Maren's voice took on a more innocent tone, one that didn't fool Lily for a minute. "We're just really worried about Sirius, and we know that Lily and James are back there, so if you'll be so kind as to let us join them . . ." The answer Madam Pomfrey whispered back clearly wasn't the one Maren wanted to hear, for her tone became shrill once more. "Look, I really didn't want to have to do this, but if you don't let us in I'm afraid I may have to slug you, hey – OW! Remus! Get off me! Let me go!"

Lily shook her head, knowing it was almost impossible to get Maren to stop once she'd set her mind to something. Stepping out from behind the curtain, Lily tugged gently on Madam Pomfrey's sleeve, whispering pleadingly to just let Maren and Remus in for a few minutes, before someone else ended up in need of medical attention.

It was clear Madam Pomfrey was still fuming from her encounter with Maren, but seeing that she had little options, she reluctantly allowed the two teens back into the curtain with Lily, but not before warning them that if they caused any disturbance she'd inform the Headmaster immediately of their insubordination and lack of respect for their elders.

"Lack of respect for elders my arse," Maren muttered bitterly as Lily drew back the curtain, enclosing them once more, "What is she, twenty? There's no way she's more than five or so years older than I am!"

"Mari," Lily shook her head once more, this time in slight irritation, "unless you want us all to be thrown out, drop it, okay?"

Maren just rolled her eyes, about to retort, but catching sight of Sirius, she fell silent.

"Oh, Merlin," Remus let his breath out in a hiss, sinking down onto the bed beside James as though his legs no longer had the strength to hold him.

"He does not look good," Maren agreed somewhat pessimistically as she sat beside Remus, taking his hand in hers, comforting him as Lily had to James just moments earlier. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Madam Pomfrey said he'll be fine." Lily answered, her voice quavering slightly, "Just a mild concussion and a few cracked ribs, but nothing she can't fix." She tried to sound light-hearted, but knew that her optimism was lost on the others.

When no one replied, she fell back into her chair, lapsing into silence. Her gaze traveled across Sirius and back to James, pained by the guilty expression still gracing his countenance. Lily hated seeing James in pain, back in their fifth year she'd thought him to be invulnerable and had felt no guilt continuously shooting down his attempts to ask her out. But now she knew that James, too, was human, though he tried to hide his emotions, and seeing such a strong person in such visible pain nearly tore Lily's heart in two.

She was about to speak again when Remus rasped from across the room, "I shouldn't have yelled at him."

All three turned, astonished, to face Remus, who sat there with an expression of utmost sorrow as he gazed at his fellow Marauder. "I furious with him when he left, and he still thought that, when he went rushing in to fight, he still thinks I hate him."

Pushing his own guilt aside, James turned towards Remus, tearing his gaze from his best friend. "Remus, it's not your fault. Sirius knew what he did was wrong, and he deserved every minute of the cold shoulder you gave him, but he never thought you hated him."

Sensing that this argument ran deeper than neither she nor Maren could ever begin to comprehend, Lily quickly got to her feet, motioning for Maren to follow. "I think they might want to be left alone," she whispered to her best friend, expecting protests.

But, much to Lily's amazement, Maren nodded her head in agreement despite the confusion that clouded her eyes. "I think you may be right." And with that, the two girls stepped between the folds in the curtains, leaving the two boys alone with their sorrow.

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**Kind of short, but that's all I had time for. I hope you enjoyed it!**

_**Please Review!!!!**_


	26. Irony of Blame

**A/N:** This chapter was somewhat fun to write, I like alternating between the characters, and I've been waiting for a chance to mix Kelly back into the story. I hope you all enjoy it!!!

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"Lily, what the heck happened?" Maren demanded as soon as they were a safe distance from the hospital wing.

Lily shook her head tiredly, a feeble attempt to prolong the inevitable.

"Lil, you're covered in scrapes, James has a bloody bandage wrapped around his head, and Sirius is lying unconscious in the hospital wing!" Maren's shrieks cut through Lily's defenses, causing her to wince with each word. "What happened?"

The tears Lily had tried so hard to hold back burst forth, flooding down her cheeks despite her protests. She needed someone to hold her, to comfort her, to rock her back and forth as she sobbed her sorrows into their shoulder. She had tried so hard to be brave for James that she'd forced her emotions deeper and deeper inside of her, forgetting about her emotional needs, concentrating only on those who needed her, never realizing she needed them just as much. "Oh, Mari," she whispered through her tears, peering up at her friend with tear filled eyes.

"Shh, Lily, I'm sorry," Maren wrapped her arms around her friend, embracing her. "I didn't mean to yell. You don't have to say anything, it's okay . . ." but Lily shook her head, strands of her hair sticking to Maren's robe with the static between them.

"No, I-I need to talk," she mumbled as she slowly began to pull herself together. "Just, not here, okay?"

"All right," Maren glanced around the empty hall uncertainly, "but where? Lil, Andy and Dorcas will most likely be in the dorm . . . and this probably isn't the best way for Andy to find out about her cousin."

Lily sniffled, "Point well taken," she cast her eyes about, trying to gather her bearings. "Mari, where are we?"

"Third floor . . . I think, just outside the charms classrooms."

"Good, turn down the next corridor and head as though you were going towards the kitchens."

"The kitchens?" Maren questioned incredulously, "But Lily-"

"Just do it."

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"I shouldn't have stopped speaking to him like that, I shouldn't have gotten so angry, he left thinking that I hated him . . ."

"Moony, get a hold of yourself," James pressured somewhat bluntly, "It's not your fault. Sirius knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew that if you found out it would most likely escalate to this, don't blame yourself. I was ignoring him too. Lily's the only one who took into account how he might feel."

"But, what if I drove him to this?" Remus fumbled for the words to express his inner pain, even as James tried to convince him he shouldn't be taking the blame, Remus knew he'd never forgive himself if he didn't get this out. He couldn't stop now, he didn't know how to, nor did he want to. "He thought I hated him, he may not have cared anymore . . . what if he was so angry with me, or himself . . . that he just didn't care?"

"Remus," James pleaded, beginning to grow concerned with his friend's dire depression, "It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. Okay? Sirius, _did not blame you_. He knew what he did was wrong, he knew you were upset, and he knew you had every right to be. He brought your anger upon himself. If anyone drove him to anything, it was me who drove him to starting this whole mess in the first place. I knew that Kelly dumped him, and yet I still spent more time with Lily than I did with my best mate. He felt left out, and he entertained himself without really thinking. You didn't force him into that fight, Moony, he went on his own free will, so don't you _ever_ blame this on yourself again, or I may have to cause you severe bodily harm, okay?"

Remus looked up at James, a shadow of a smile flickering across his gaunt face. "Okay."

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"What is this place?" Awe was evident in Maren's voice as she glanced about the room. Velvet cushions lay on Victorian armchairs, beanbag chairs lay scattered on the plush cerulean carpet, and boxes of tissues littered tables around the room, accompanied with boxes of elegant chocolates.

"The Room of Requirement," Lily murmured, impressed as well with the miraculous change that room had undergone since her last visit. "James shoved me in here once, when there was a bit of a fray in the halls. He says that it only appears to those who truly need it, and that the room is always equipped with whatever items fit that person's needs."

Maren let out a low whistle as she allowed herself to collapse on one of the beanbag chairs, "What I wouldn't have given to have known about this place before my last few months at school."

Lily gave her a wry smile, sitting gracefully on the sofa across from Maren, helping herself to one of the many chocolate boxes before fixing her gaze on her friend. "So," she paused to swallow a caramel chocolate, "You're sure you want to know what happened?"

"Only if you want to tell me," her friend answered softly.

Lily considered this, tilting her head to the side as she helped herself to another chocolate. "Well," she shrugged, already much more composed than she'd been minutes ago. "I suppose I'll have to tell you eventually, it might as well be now." She took in a deep breath, searching for a place to start. "We overslept this morning and barely made it to the train station in time. We could have apparated, I suppose, but the Potters were sent out somewhere and had made us promise not to use magic while they were gone. Once we got to the station . . . I suppose we would have avoided the battle completely if Sirius hadn't stopped and debated not returning to school. He and James talked about what a waste it seemed to be, but I was insistent, and we'd just turned towards the barrier when we heard the crack of someone apparating." She shuddered, as she spoke Lily saw the events play over in her mind, each time more horrendous than the first. She saw all the opportunities she'd missed, the chances where she could have saved Sirius. She shook the memories from her mind, continuing on with her monologue. "We turned and saw the hooded figures, and . . . I don't know, we all made a silent pact and rushed into it. I don't think any of us were thinking very clearly. I was fighting one Death Eater, James another, and the next time I looked around, James had four after him and Sirius was lying sprawled on the ground." She shook her head in disbelief, "I still don't know how we managed to hold our own."

Maren's eyes were wide in wonder and fascination as she stared half-horrified at Lily. "Was, you know, _he_ there?"

Lily shook her head numbly, even without the name, Lily knew who Maren was talking about. She didn't even want to think of what would have happened if _he_ had been there. "No," she whispered, "I think it was just a bit of fun on the Death Eater's part, torturing the Muggles." Both she and Maren shivered at their disgusting idea of fun. Both having grown in Muggle families, the girls were horrified with the thought that a similar thing could have happened to their parents or siblings.

Lily's head nodded gently on her shoulder, barely registering the awkward silence filling the room. She was exhausted; the day had been far more than long enough, she couldn't believe that just 24 hours before she'd been comforting James in his bed, and now . . . _now Sirius is lying unconscious in the hospital wing._ She thought bitterly.

"Lil, Lily," Maren shook Lily's shoulder gently, "C'mon, you're exhausted, let's head on upstairs. You _need_ a good nights sleep."

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"Oh, my god." The terrified whisper filtered into James' head, stirring him from his restless sleep. Blinking against the bright sunlight that danced throughout the Hospital Wing, James gave a slight groan as he stretched his cramped muscles. He'd fallen asleep in the chair beside Sirius' bed, how, he couldn't even begin to imagine. It had to have been one of the most uncomfortable sleeping positions he'd ever experienced, but he supposed the day's events had finally caught up with him. Eyes searching the room for whatever had wakened him, he caught sight of Remus curled up in a ball on the adjacent bed. James couldn't help but smile as he observed his friend, sleeping loyally in the curled position of a docile wolf. No matter how humane he appeared, the wolf always lived within Remus, even if it was only released once a month. Shaking his head, James continued his search around the room. His eyes narrowed menacingly as they landed on the slim frame of a tall Ravenclaw, her honey blond hair separated into two braids at the sides of her head.

"What do you want, Kelly?" He whispered, his voice lined with warning.

The girl jumped, and James realized she hadn't noticed anyone in the room other than Sirius. "I – I just, I heard that Sirius was h-here, and . . ." she trailed off, her eyes falling back to Sirius.

James allowed his gaze to wander over toward his friend as well. Despite his unconscious state, Sirius looked a great deal better than yesterday. Color had returned to his sunken cheeks, and though the bruises were a deep purple, all cuts seemed to have healed over night.

"Can I talk to him?" She whispered, her eyes searching James' face for permission.

"What do you have left to say to him?" He snarled, more bitter than he had intended.

Though she flinched, Kelly held his gazed. "I deserved that," she murmured, "and I know you think I'm a horrible person. But I really did like Sirius, and I still do, despite what you might think. I just wanted to apologize to him, let him know why I did what I did."

"Easier to do it now than when he's conscious, isn't it?"

"James," both Kelly and James turned towards the other voice, only to see Remus propped up on his elbow, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Let her speak, she's no more to blame than you or I. No sense taking out your anger on the innocent."

James had to smile at Remus' dry sense of humor and ironic time of recovery. "Fine, but she _should_ know how cowardly her actions are, apologizing while he can't even hear or respond."

Kelly glared at James, "It's hard, all right? Maybe if you let me do this now, I'll gain the courage to repeat my apologies when he can hear, but for now, this is just something I need to do."

_The girl has guts,_ James thought to himself, admiring the determined demeanor that radiated from Kelly. He'd always liked the girl, until she'd dumped Sirius, that is. _Maybe she's finally seen the error in her ways._

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Lily rolled over in her bed, her head throbbing with the kind of pain she could only imagine a hangover could produce. At the thought, Lily's stomach gave a horrible lurch and she stumbled from her bed, trying desperately not to tangle herself in her bed curtains as she ran towards the bathroom, making it just in time to retch into the porcelain toilet.

"You've got it too, huh?" A groggy voice questioned somewhere above Lily's head.

Lily glanced up, wiping her mouth off on the back of her hand. "What do you mean, I've got it too?"

Maren shrugged, "It was the same thing for me, I woke up this morning with a horrid headache, and before I knew it I was vomiting into a toilet."

"Thanks for that," Lily muttered, her face still tinged with green. "Ugh, what is this? The flu's not going around again, is it?"

"Nah," Maren shook her head, "those chocolates last night, the must have been filled with some kind of liquor."

"Oh, god, we like finished a box apiece," Lily moaned, turning her face back towards the toilet as a wave of dizziness swept over her.

"Tell me about it," Maren murmured sympathetically, "You'll be over it within half an hour or so though. Unless there's an after-shock type bout . . ." her face turned green at the prospect of reliving the stomach pains. "Anyways, as soon as you're feeling better we should go visit the guys. According to Frank Longbottom they never showed in the dorm last night."

"Right," Lily gave a weak smile, before heaving out the contents of her stomach once more.

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"Is she still in there?" James whispered in an irritated tone to Remus.

"Well, seeing as how she hasn't come out yet, my guess would be yes."

Finally agreeing to give Kelly some privacy with Sirius, the boys had retreated to the area outside the curtains, though it was quickly wearing down on James' patience. "She's been in there for almost ten minutes; can she really have that much to say?"

Remus shrugged unhelpfully, and was about to reply when a startled shriek from inside the enclosure interrupted his thoughts. Glancing at each other, the two boys leapt to their feet, charging inside the curtain. Kelly was standing pressed against the wall, her hands clasped over her mouth as though her scream had taken even her by surprise. Sirius was lying on the bed, hands clasped about his ears, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Ouch, not so loud there, I already feel like someone's pounding my head with hammer, I don't need you're hysterics adding to it."

"S-Sirius!" James spluttered, "You're awake!"

"No, really? What gave you that idea, genius?"

James could have laughed with joy and hugged his friend, but instead he merely grinned, splitting his cheeks in delight. "We thought we were losing you there, mate, what were you thinking, taking on five Death Eaters at once?"

Sirius considered this for a moment, before grinning as well, "Not much."

The three boys laughed, forgetting that Kelly was standing in the corner, forgetting that the last time two of them had spoken they'd exchanged harsh words, forgetting everything except for the fact that they were the best friends that there ever were, and that nothing could ever change that.

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**A/N:** I was planning on having a bigger part with Kelly in that chapter . . . but the story, as usual, got away from me and I guess I was on a roll. I'll save that bit for next time. Hope you all liked it!! You know, there's no natural high more exhilarating than waking up to an inbox full of reviews

_**Please Review!!!!**_


	27. Tearstained Heartache

**A/N:** Hey, I know you people are out there reading this . . . I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, but if you're going to read can you please send a review? I only got two last chapter . . . and if I don't get many reviews I begin to think no one is interested in this story any more and I won't have the heart to continue it. So, I know this isn't that great, but could you please review?

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Heads throbbing from lack of sleep, Lily and Maren made their way up the stairs and to the hospital wing, each praying for joyous results regarding Sirius' health.

"If we have to climb one. More. Stupid. Staircase." Maren panted, punctuating each word with a heavy thud of her foot. "I swear I'm filling in a request for elevators."

"Muggle electronics don't work here, remember? And besides, we wouldn't even be here to enjoy them."

Maren groaned, "Fine, how 'bout you levitate me to the hospital wing?"

Lily laughed, "Yeah, like that's goin' to happen."

"I promise I'll return the favor . . . eventually." She wheedled, "Please?"

Lily just rolled her eyes, shaking her head in response.

"Fine," Maren pouted, "Some friend you are."

"Oh, get over yourself," Lily playfully shoved Maren, jolting the girl from her sulking.

"Oh, you are so going to regret that, Lil." Maren threatened.

"No, I don't think so," she replied mildly, sticking out her tongue.

"That's it!" Lily gave a startled shriek as Maren lunged towards her. The two girls broke into a sprint, chasing each other down the hall, straight past the hospital wing.

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Sitting cross-legged on Sirius' bed, the three marauders were the perfect imitation of teenage girls fretting at a slumber party. James and Remus' eyes were rimmed with shadows of exhaustion, while Sirius' face was the washed out paleness of a doll that lay forgotten in the sun too long. But if the boys noticed their sorry appearances they didn't let on, rather they basked in the warm glow of their rekindled friendship. They sat in silence, each one searching for a way to broach the subject that was weighing heavy in their minds.

Remus had just opened his mouth to speak when a startled shriek and labored breathing filled the corners of the hospital wing, followed by a shrill giggle.

"Shh, cut that out! You'll wake Madam Pomfrey! I'm surprised you haven't already, what with all the ruckus you caused in the corridor."

"What, going to give me a detention now? Need I remind you that you were screaming too? What will James say when he discovers his girlfriend is a hypocrite?"

"Shut up."

"No, you shut up!"

The curtains rattled on their rungs, pulling open to reveal a disheveled Lily and Maren, their cheeks flushed and eyes bloodshot.

James' eyes widened as a smirk curled on Sirius' lips. "What happened to you two?

"Yeah," Sirius' eyes flashed deviously, "You look like shit."

"Very tactful, Sirius," Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, look at it this way," Maren stated brightly, "at least we know he didn't suffer any serious damage. He's the same old Sirius!"

"Yeah, but is that a good thing?"

Both girls tried to hide their laughter as Sirius let out an offended "Hey!" James ignored Sirius, redirecting his question to the girls. "No, but seriously, what happened to you two?"

"It's kind of a long story." Lily began.

"Basically we got hung over on liquor filled chocolates while Lily recounted the sob story that landed genius over here," Maren nodded to Sirius, ignoring the blatant outrage on his face, "in the infirmary. We were too exhausted to climb the stairs, Lil made some wise-crack comment and shoved me, which forced me to chase her down the hall and threaten to beat the living daylight out of her. See? Not that long." Maren grinned cheekily at Lily.

"Thanks for that, Mari." Lily glared darkly.

The boys stared blankly at the girls before James finally questioned dubiously, "Lily, as in, my Lily the head girl, got high on chocolates?"

"Pretty much," Maren chirped gaily.

"Lunatic," Lily muttered, still glaring at Maren. "I did _not_ get high and I did not intentionally ingest liquor."

"Whatever you say, princess." Maren smirked. Lily turned on her heel, her hair flailing dangerously as she started towards James.

As she crossed over to the bed, she noticed a slender figure pressed against the wall. "Kelly?" she inquired incredulously.

The slim girl peeled herself off the wall as four heads whipped around in astonishment. Kelly's usually perfectly curled hair was flattened against the back of her head, hugging her scalp. Dark blue robes her wrinkled from where they'd creased into the wall's many crevices, and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. "Hey," she murmured quietly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I . . ." her voice faltered and she murmured something incoherent.

"What?"

"I came to see Sirius," she whispered meekly. Lifting her eyes from the floor, Kelly stared imploringly at Lily.

Shifting her gaze nervously around the others in the room, Lily nodded her head in consent. "James, Remus, Maren and I need to talk to you two, c'mon." She began to walk towards the curtain.

"Wait, we're not leaving Sirius-" James began.

"Oh yes you are," Lily grabbed him firmly by the wrist and dragged him out of the enclosure, closely followed by Remus and Maren.

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"What did you do that for?" James sputtered furiously once they'd traveled a safe distance from Sirius and Kelly. "That liquor must have gone to your head! Leaving her alone with Sirius! She doesn't even deserve a second of his time!"

"Maybe not," Lily spoke softly, "but she's been standing there for hours, waiting to talk to him. Not many girls would have remained there with you and Remus in the room. Let her alone for a while."

"She's right, James," Remus lay a calming hand on James' shoulder. "Sirius is an adult, well . . . age wise at least, maybe not maturity wise . . ., let him handle this on his own."

"But we already gave her ten minutes with him!" James was seething, "What more can she have to say?"

"Sirius was unconscious for nine of those minutes, just give her a chance, okay?"

"Fine," he sank to the floor, glaring at the three standing around him, "but if he asks, I did not willingly consent to any of this."

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"What do you want, Stevonson?" Sirius glared menacingly at Kelly.

The girl mouthed wordlessly for a moment, "I . . . I just wanted to make sure you were okay." When Sirius didn't respond a rush of apologies and explanations came spurting from Kelly's mouth, once she started she seemed unable to stop. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. I know you're absolutely furious with me, and you have every right to be, but I couldn't rest knowing that you were hurt and hating me. Sirius, I never meant to hurt you, I really didn't, but things got so complicated . . . we rarely saw each other any more, the rivalry between our two houses just kept us apart, and," she paused, taking a deep breath, "to be honest with you, Siir, I didn't want to be 'Sirius' girlfriend' anymore, I felt like I was losing my identity. I never meant for it to end this way, but I couldn't stand worrying that I might just be this month's fling. It was too much, Sirius, and I'm so, so sorry."

A tense silence filled the air as she finished, staring nervously at him as she waited for a response.

"Get out." He whispered hoarsely.

"What? But Sirius-"

"I said, GET OUT!" His hand was shaking as he pointed towards the door, "Get out, Kelly, and don't, don't talk to me again."

Tears shimmered in the corner of her eyes as she took a step backwards, throwing one glance back at Sirius before running from his side.

Watching her go, her golden hair flying behind her, tears streaming down her cheeks, Sirius felt a dull ache inside him as he fell back onto his bed. He'd never spoken so harshly to a girl before, he'd never intentionally made a girl cry. Darkness swarmed the corners of his eyes as the image of her tearstained face flashed through his mind once more. And with that lingering in his mind, he blacked out.

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**A/N:** The more reviews, the faster the next chapter comes!

_**Please Review!!!!**_


	28. A Tearful Composure

**A/N:** Wow, seriously, wow, thanks so much for all the amazing reviews!!! I feel so loved Well, I should seriously be working on other stuff . . . but this story's fun to write and I got a bit carried away, I know it's short . . . but what with play practice 'till 6 every night and play performances the past 3 nights, it's the best I could do. I hope you like it!

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"Look, I know you think she's harmless, but don't you think the fact that she's your friend may make you slightly biased?" James paced back and forth in front of his friends, still seething in anger.

Maren, Lily, and Remus had all sunk to the floor and were now sitting with their backs to a wall, watching amusedly as James rapidly paced.

"Don't you think the fact that Sirius is _your_ friend is making _you_ biased?" Maren rolled her eyes to Remus and Lily spoke back to James.

"Lily!" James stared at her in disbelief, "Kelly hurt Sirius!" He threw his hands up in exasperation as she continued to glare at him.

Maren nudged Remus softly in the ribs and nodded towards the raging couple. Remus heaved a heavy sigh and was just about to intervene when a hysterical Kelly burst forth from Sirius' curtains. Her eyes were rimmed red and swollen, her lips quivering, and silver tears were streaming down her rosy cheeks. The four friends watched in captivation as she fled past them.

Lily lifted her eyes from the floor only to resume her glaring at James. "Yeah, Kelly may have hurt Sirius, but it looks as if he may have returned the favor." Placing her hands firmly on the floor beside her, Lily pushed herself to her feet, and without a second glance behind her she followed Kelly out of the hospital wing, leaving James gaping after her.

! : ! : !

Lily followed the sound of pounding footsteps down the hall, her own echoing after her. She continued to run until she heard the sound begin to subside. Instead, muffled sobs dimly filled the corridor ahead of her.

Taking a right at a picture of a particularly narcissistic wizard gazing lovingly into a mirror, Lily slowed her steps and cautiously approached a mass bundle of blue robes, golden strands of hair protruding from the top. "Kelly?"

When no response came save for a mournful wail, Lily sat down beside the girl and gingerly paced her arm around her quaking shoulders. "Shh, Kelly, it's going to be okay."

"No . . . i-it's not, L-lil, nothing's going to be okay, Sirius h-hates me!" Kelly broke into a fresh wave of tormented sobs.

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," she murmured soothingly, stroking Kelly's tangled hair.

"But he does! You didn't see the way he looked at me, Lily! You don't look at someone like that unless you absolutely loathe them!"

For once, Lily was at a loss for words. She'd never been on the receiving end of Sirius' anger, but she'd been around him long enough to know it was a feat that she didn't wish upon anyone; least of all Kelly. Unable to find words powerful enough to bring an end to Kelly's suffering, instead, she merely sat with her arms around her friend, rocking her back and forth as Kelly cried inconsolably into Lily's shoulder.

! : ! : !

"Sorry, Professor McGonagall," heads turned as Lily slipped into class half an hour late, handing a creased note to McGonagall. The stern professor scanned the note then gave a curt nod to an empty seat in front of Peter. Giving a slight bow of thanks, Lily sank into the empty seat, determinedly avoiding eye contact with any of her friends.

Taking out a worn quill and piece of parchment, Lily had just begun to take notes when a crumpled ball of paper hit her square on the head and bounced onto her desk. Taking a swift glance at McGonagall, Lily deftly unfolded the wad and smoothed it across her notes.

_Where the hell have you been? – _

"Real classy, James," she muttered disgustedly beneath her breath, crumpling the paper into a ball once more. Glancing again at McGonagall, Lily waited for the witch to turn back to the blackboard before throwing the ball smoothly into the rubbish bin beside the door. Hearing the soft thud of paper hitting the bottom of an empty bin, McGonagall looked curiously at Lily, who smiled innocently and bent her head over her notes, scratching her quill furiously against the paper. She had already missed class because of the marauders; she didn't need to get into any more trouble, and passing notes in McGonagall's class was a sure way of spending the evening in detention. Heaving a heavy sigh, she carefully began to print the instructions McGonagall had left on the board, oblivious to the murderous stares she was receiving from her friends.

! : ! : !

Half an hour later, Lily looked up from her notes, satisfied with her effort as a bell chimed throughout the castle, signaling the end of classes.

"I want 12 inches of parchment on the properties of human transfiguration for homework. You may go. Miss Evans," McGonagall added as kids swarmed around the door, each one eagerly headed off to lunch, "a word?"

James slipped out with the rest of the class, but hung back in the hallway as he watched Lily talk with McGonagall, no doubt about why she'd missed the beginning of class. _Where was she?_ He asked himself once more. The question, along with thousands of implausible alibis had been running through his mind throughout the whole Transfiguration class. In all the years he'd known Lily, she'd never missed a single class unless she was absolutely bedridden. If she'd had a cold bad enough to excuse most students from class, she'd find a way to be there. What was so important that she'd missed half of Transfiguration?

James was so caught up in his own thoughts he barely noticed Lily brush by him on her way to lunch. Quickly snapping from his thoughts, he grasped Lily's wrist pulling her back with him. "Hey, where were you during class?"

"Oh, no where in particular," her airy tone became malevolent, "just picking up the broken pieces of Kelly that your friend left behind."

"I told you we shouldn't have let her see him," he retorted lightly.

Lily whirled around, eyes flashing dangerously, "What did you say?" she hissed, causing James to take a startled step backwards.

"I, uh, I didn't mean-"

"Don't you dare, for one minute, try to blame me, Potter," she jabbed him sharply in the stomach with her index finger, punctuating each syllable. "Sirius has broken countless hearts, one girl returns the favor and he crushes her without so much as receiving a guilty conscience. Is that what all Marauders are like, Potter?" Tears shimmered in the corners of her eyes, but she refused to let her composure fall, "If so, then I don't want any part of this."

James sank to the ground, burying his face in is hands in frustration as Lily tore away from him once more. "Potter," he spit the word out disgustedly, his heart breaking as the word echoed down the hall, mocking him in his misfortune.

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**A/N:** I've got the next chapter started, I swear! I was going to put the next part up with this, seeing as how this chapter is incredibly short . . . but I kind of like ending it the way it is. Besides, I've updated this story three chapters in a row without so much as a thought to "The Boy Next Door," I really should start dividing my time evenly . . .

_**Please Review!!!!**_


	29. Stalking the Shadows

**A/N:** You guys rock- 1 million hugs and a thousand "thank you"s to everyone who has reviewed!!! It's been awhile since the last chapter, but this time I really do have good excuse! I was in Thailand fixing up orphanages for children with AIDS. Props to anyone who has it in them to sponsor a child! Seriously, all you have to do is set aside $25 or so a month (possibly $10 depending on the orphanage) and a child will have the medication and care they need for a year. But I'm not here to advertise . . . on with the story!

With each new day following Sirius' recovery, tension filled the Gryffindor common room, and by the end of the week there was not a single Hogwarts' student who didn't know about the Head Boy and Girl's supposed breakup. Even the teachers seemed in on the secret; they went out of their way to prevent pairing the two up and continuously throw pitying looks in their direction when this couldn't be avoided. Professor McGonagall had even gone as far as to tell Lily to feel free to drop by her office if she ever felt the need to talk.

"I know that facing these types of hardships is very hard on a girl's self-esteem," McGonagall murmured sympathetically, her eyes misting over, "however, I urge you not to let this affect your studies. You're a brilliant girl, Miss Evans; don't let it all go to waste over some boy."

Red-faced, Lily quickly muttered her thanks and bolted from the room in embarrassment. It was bad enough having girls her own age pity her, but it was mortifying to see McGonagall doing the same. Hurrying down the hall, Lily passed numerous groups of girls whispering amongst themselves, all of which came to an abrupt stop when she approached and built into a crescendo of excitement one she'd left. As she turned the corner into the Great Hall, Lily cursed inwardly. Maren, who had left her to fend McGonagall herself, was sitting between Remus and Sirius, leaning across the table to talk with James. Catching Lily's eye, Maren waved, motioning to the empty seat beside James, who looked up blankly as Maren spoke to him. Before he could catch sight of her, Lily ducked into a swarm of Ravenclaws and veered to the other end of the table, taking a seat with Andromeda and Dorcas.

"I can't say much to defend Sirius. Much as I love him, Kelly was much too sweet a girl to be treated like that. But I'm not quite sure I don't' feel obligated to defend James. True, he is a bit conceited, but he's usually quite sweet." Andromeda was saying as she took a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Not that Andy's not completely biased in her opinion, though, I remember one summer when she seemed awfully smitten with her cousin's best friend." Dorcas teased.

"Dori, I was eleven, okay? Hardly old enough to know what I wanted in a guy. Not that James isn't great," she added hastily, "but I want someone different. I know it sounds weird," she smiled shyly, "especially with all the good magic can do, but I'd really like a man who can cook."

"Bet you 10 galleons she marries a Muggle." Dorcas nodded solemnly.

"Oh, stuff it," Andy grumbled, throwing a piece of bread at Dorcas who stuck out her tongue in retort. Lily laughed in spite of herself, wondering why she'd never spent this much time with them before.

Suddenly, Lily felt a creeping chill down her spine, as though someone was watching her. On impulse she scanned the hall for James, expecting to find his gaze lingering on her. But he was staring sullenly at his food, pushing it around with his fork but not actually eating anything. The hairs on the nape of her neck prickled, and though she was surrounded by people she suddenly felt alone. Muttering excuses to the two girls, Lily hastily sped from the hall, unable to quell the fear building inside her.

"James, look who it is," Maren whispered, leaning across the table.

He looked up just in time to see Lily swallowed by a swarming crowd and carried to Andromeda Black. Maren gave him an apologetic smile and sank back into Remus' arms as Lily sank into the empty seat across from Dorcas Meadowes. Giving Maren a weak smile in return, James turned sullenly back to his food which he was absentmindedly playing with. _I'm not all that hungry._ He realized as he stared at the blend of colors on his plate; he hadn't been in quite some time. Each time he even thought of eating his stomach would churn unpleasantly.

He'd never felt this way before, his friends in secondary school had nicknamed him the "human disposal" and had often made comments about how his stomach largely resembled a bottomless pit. But ever since his row with Lily, all food that touched his tongue tasted like chalk. Instead of food, he found himself craving the creamy touch of Lily's skin, the sweet scent of her silken hair, the soothing thrill of her lips on his . . .

Felling eyes on him, James quickly looked up. His own eyes alert, he found his hazel eyes locked with Lily's emerald ones. She looked like a dear caught in a headlight; eyes wide and startled. And as she shoved through the mass of kids in the hall, James saw something else in her eyes, something that sent chills down his spine; fear.

"We've got to do something about this," Sirius muttered as he watched James sulkily trudge back up to his dorm.

"Don't go there, Sirius," Remus warned, his head bent over a chess board, examining Peter's last move.

"I can't 'not go there,' mate, it's my fault James is in this mess . . . well, partly my fault, I think the fact that his girlfriend is a psychotic lunatic may have something to do with it . . ." he paused, considering, then shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Anyways, I owe it to him to fix this mess."

"Sirius," Maren looked up from her transfiguration essay, "don't you think you've done enough damage already?"

"No offense, Goldberg, but I never much liked you or your opinions anyway," he smirked as Maren started at him, looking somewhat amused, "Secondly, didn't you have to interfere to get the two together in the first place?"

"That was different," she replied shortly.

"I don't see how," Sirius smirked, "You got them together and I'm just trying to keep them that way."

"What if they don't want to be together?" Peter squeaked, nervously wringing his hands.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "It's obvious that they do. James is moping like a wounded dog that's been kicked and told to go away, and Lily's guiltily avoiding him because she doesn't want to admit to herself that she's made a mistake."

Maren glared venomously at Sirius. She knew he was right, knew he was right about Lily. She had too much pride to admit to being wrong and James, though wounded, had too much pride to grovel and beg for Lily back. "Say for a moment that you're right," Maren voiced her concerns aloud, making sure to clarify the issue of their friends' exaggerated pride. "There's no way we can possibly get them back together, neither one is going to crack."

"I hate to say it, Padfoot, but I think Mari's right. This is a problem they're going to have to work out on their own." Remus leaned back in his armchair, his face lined in regret.

Sirius shook his head in disbelief, "You guys are forgetting that there has never been a problem the Marauders couldn't solve."

"But we're minus one Marauder." Peter pointed out skeptically.

"And that one Marauder needs our help." Sirius stated defiantly. "James has _always_ been there for us. When I was disowned James was the first to offer me a place to stay; he never treated me like less than family. Peter, when you were failing Potions James immediately offered to tutor you even though he barely had time for himself between homework and Quidditch practices. He never once made you feel inferior, did he?"

Peter shook his head, at a loss for words as Sirius bounded on to Remus. "Remus, James was the one who suggested the . . . erm, experiment when you . . . uh, got . . . sick . . ." he trailed off, glancing nervously at Maren.

But Maren, apparently, was unimpressed and had stopped listening long ago. "That's very touching, Black, but what's the point?"

"The point, _Goldberg_, is that James is always there for us, and its about time we returned the favor!"

Remus was smiling now, the gears rapidly churning in his mind, "I think you may be on to something for once, Padfoot."

"You can't be serious!" Maren shrieked, staring disbelievingly at her boyfriend.

"I'm always onto something, Moony," Sirius chose to ignore Maren's outbreak. "I just choose not to let you on. I'd hate for you to think I was the brains _and_ beauty of our group."

Remus rolled his eyes and affectionately rumpled Sirius' hair. "So, where do we begin?"

"You _are_ serious," Maren shook her head. Gathering up her belongings, she threw a disgusted look in the boys' direction. "I want nothing to do with this, understand? When Lily blows up at you three she will in _no way_ be able to trace this psychotic plan got to me, got it?"

The boys waved their hands dismissively and Maren grumpily stormed up to the girls' dorm, muttering under her breath all the while.

"Moony," Sirius shook his head as Maren slammed the door, eliciting many curious stares from other students. "You may be the brains of the group, but I can't say much for your taste in girls."

"Aw, you're just jealous because you've never managed to keep a girlfriend for more than a week . . . and you've never had the guts to date a temperamental redhead before."

"Yeah, I'm insanely jealous," Sirius muttered, rolling his eyes at the lovesick fool. "But Maren's not the redhead we're meant to be focusing on." Inclining his head towards Peter and Remus, Sirius began to unfold his plan.

He watched as the redhead tore from the hall, eyes brimming in fear. He'd been watching Lily Evans for some time now, observing her every move until he was sure she was no longer associating with Potter. She was vulnerable now, without Potter there to protect her. Earlier in the year she would have been strong, not susceptible to pressure, proud to walk the halls alone without a trace of fear on her face; but time with Potter had made her weak. She'd grown too accustomed to the guaranteed security her boyfriend had provided for her, and now she was alone, without a friend to run to. He'd be her friend, he'd gain her trust easily, and once he did she would be easy to manipulate, a simple pawn in his game. The thought made him smile a crooked, malicious smile that curled across his teeth like a wolf preparing to attack. She was making this too easy.

**A/N:** Haha, that end bit was fun to write there . . . I wasn't intentionally planning on including anything at all like that . . . but it's fun, isn't it? is apparently having issues with me at the moment . . . whenever I try and log in it informs me that my account is no longer active. I hope posting this works, and if it does, I hope there aren't any problems in the future, but I'm giving you fair warning now – if this keeps up I may not be able to update for awhile.

_**Please Review!!!!**_


	30. A Light in the Dark

**A/N:** Hey All! Well, it's one day before exams and I'm at home with a fever, meaning I suddenly find myself with a lot of free time on my hands. So I actually have time to type up this chapter! So, you probably won't get your next chapter until January, like I originally promised, but here's the next chap to Wishful Thinking! Oh, btw, I'm sorry the breaks in the chapter didn't work last time . . . I think I've finally fixed them.

For those of you who are confused, all italicized writing is thoughts.

**XxX**

"_I'll tell myself, I don't need you . . . I'll tell myself I'll make it through, I'll tell myself anything to get over you." –Lincoln Avenue/Train_

**XxX**

The Marauders were up to something, Lily could tell, and for some reason she felt increasingly uneasy. Maren acted as if she knew nothing, yet each time the subject was broached her face darkened and she grew exceedingly cross. "If you're so obsessed with your ex-boyfriend's stupid club why don't' you just ask him yourself?" She'd yelled one day following Lily's ordeal in the Great Hall. "Or are you afraid they won't let you in on their little secrets any more? Face it, Lil, after what you did to James you probably don't even deserve to know!"

The silence that filled the girls' dorm following Maren's outburst seemed to last a lifetime. Tears gathering in her eyes and cheeks coloring, Lily could feel the room holding its breath, waiting for her response. But Lily couldn't even move her lips to speak, she felt as though her whole body had frozen. In all their years at Hogwarts, Lily and Maren had only had a handful of fights, each filled with their fair share of yelling, but nothing had ever cut Lily as deeply as those six words. _"After what you did to James,"_ What had she done? Nothing more than what he would have eventually done to Lily, surely. But though Lily had believed this to be the only way to prevent a heart break, those few words, mixed with the memory of James' wounded face and empty eyes, shattered her heart into more pieces than stars in the sky. _Stars_. Subconsciously, Lily reached down and grasped the moon-shaped locket James had given her on Valentine's Day. _"Did you have a good time today, Lil?" "The best I've had so far this year."_ _What have I done?_

It was Andromeda Black who spoke first, coming to stand beside Lily. "That was low, Goldberg. You should be ashamed to call yourself a Gryffindor. Such qualities of betrayal and backstabbing are usually only evident in a Slytherin." Her voice, cold as steel, chipped away at Maren whose lips began to tremble nervously.

"I-I'm sorry Lily," she murmured weakly, "You know I didn't mean it."

"But you did," Lily whispered softly, "and the sad thing is, you're right. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve him, I don't deserve anything." Excusing herself, Lily gave Andromeda a small smile of thanks, and slipped from the dormitory. She chastised herself as, for the umpteenth time that year, she wandered aimlessly down Hogwarts' many corridors.

_What's happened to my life?_ She asked herself. Making friends had never been her strong point, but she'd always been content to just have Maren. She'd always had the respect of her peers, and, since at least 5th year, she'd had the admiration of James Potter. _James_. She felt her heart sink, since they'd become friends, she'd felt a strange elation, a continuous high that kept her soaring above the clouds. _But you killed that feeling, Lily, when you broke both your hearts_. Her heart had down more than broken; it had shattered, leaving her feeling cold and empty. Lily wrapped her arms around herself, trying to reignite some of the much needed warmth James had provided for her. _James._ How had she ever survived without him? She couldn't seem to properly remember how to function without him by her side. _Do you need him that much, Lily? Does tough, cold Lily need a man to survive?_ "Shut up," she whispered fiercely, cursing her conscience, "Men are _not_ the answer!" _Then why do you need James so badly?_ "I don't need him, I don't!" _Keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll believe it one day._ "Shut up!" she screamed, her voice reverberating off the walls.

"All right, there?" A soft voice questioned behind her.

The sound so startled Lily that she gave a soft shriek, jumping backwards and colliding with the owner of the voice, knocking his books to the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry!" She bent down and began gathering his books.

"It's quite all right," his voice was silky smooth, and as Lily looked up, she found herself staring into an endless void of inky black eyes. A small smile crept across his lips and he stuck out his right hand. "M'name's Reggie, and you, of course, must be the brilliant Lily Evans. James' descriptions most certainly do not do you justice, you're much prettier than he described if you'll forgive me for being so bold."

"No, it's all right," Lily felt a blush rising to her cheeks. "Are you a friend of James'?"

The scrawny boy let out a chortle, his boyish features seeming even younger as he laughed. "No, no, I merely overheard him speaking with my brother a few years ago. I haven't seen him since. 7th years don't often speak to lower classmen, you know."

There was something familiar in Reggie's features, the way his black hair was pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck tweaked at Lily's memories, but her mind was too much of a mess for her to sort through at the moment. "Are you much younger?"

"Only about a year, I'm a fifth year, but one of the older ones." He smiled amiably at her. "Say, I don't know about you, but I missed dinner and . . ." he shrugged, "would you like to join e in the kitchens?"

Lily's stomach twisted nervously, yet she found no reason why not to join the boys. He seemed friendly enough, and, due to her avoidance of the Great Hall, she'd also missed dinner. Against her better judgment, Lily smiled gratefully, "Sure, that sounds wonderful."

**XxX**

A twisted smile contorting his face, he could feel the strength of evil building within him. _It won't be long now, Master, Evans was easier than expected, much easier. Her heart has left her feeling so alone, she will willing cross over and then, it's only a matter of time before Potter weakens. He will crumble in your palm. Anything for his precious mudblood._

**XxX**

James stumbled across the boys' dormitory, feeling through the dark with his fingers. He didn't want to draw attention to himself by lighting his wand or a candle. Though the other boys had long since retired, James had a feeling that more than one of his friends was worried about his behavior and may be keeping watch over him. He'd heard them whispering on Peter's bed after he'd pretended to sleep for an hour, and he knew it had to be about him if they were resigning themselves to Peter's bed, the furthest away from his. James had taken his invisibility cloak to bed with him and had used it to slip out from beneath the watchful eye of who ever was designated to be his keeper that evening.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, James' fingers brushed a worn piece of parchment and he knew he'd found the Marauders' Map. Though their original plan had been to plant it in Filch's office for future troublemakers to find, they'd agreed that the map may be a useful tool their last year at school, and had agreed to dispose of it properly at graduation.

Nervously running his fingers through his hair, James slipped from the dormitory and into the common room, thankful that no one else was up at that hour. Though he'd never admit it to anyone else, James was worried about Lily. He couldn't shake the look of pure terror he'd seen in her eyes earlier in the Great Hall, and, according to Andy Black, after a small squabble she'd had with Maren, Lily had disappeared. No one had seen her since after dinner. James knew that Lily was probably sleeping safely in her dorm at this very moment, but he knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he was sure. Giving one last glance to affirm that he was alone, he tapped the Map and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

His eyes roved the now apparent map. Lily wasn't in her dorm. With a feeling of great trepidation, he quickly scanned the map, his eyes finally coming to rest as he found the dot labeled "Lily Evans" in the kitchens. But instead of soothing his fears, James' blood ran cold as he noticed the dot bobbing beside hers. Without a second thought, he stormed from the common room and sprinted down the halls, his heart and mind racing as the sweat from his palms trickled onto the still open map and the bobbing dot of Regulus Black.

**XxX**

"Sirius," Remus Lupin bent over his friend, shaking his shoulder hard. "Sirius!"

"Mm, just five more minutes," he murmured, curling into a tight ball.

"No more minutes, Siir, James is gone."

"WHAT?!?" Sirius bolted upright, staring incredulously at Remus. "Why didn't you follow him?"

"'Cause I wasn't awake, you dolt," he whacked Sirius around the head. "_You_ were supposed to be on watch, remember?"

Sirius chose to ignore Remus, and instead began feeling around the corners of James' bed.

"Padfoot," Remus massaged his temple in frustration, "What are you doing?"

"Looking for the map," came his muffled reply.

"It's no good, he took it."

"How do you know?"

"I looked already!"

"And how do you know you didn't overlook it?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Accio Map!" When no parchment came zooming towards him, Remus smirked and a grumbling Sirius slid out from under James' bed.

"We have to find him! Operation 'save the marriage' won't work without James!"

"You really think they're going to get married?" Remus asked conversationally, eliciting a low growl and a glare from Sirius. "All right, all right, we'll help James. But Padfoort, you can't watch over him forever. Girls are a part of life, I know he thinks Lily's the one, but she might not feel the same. I'll help this time, but if it happens again . . . James has to figure it out on his own."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You done yet?"

"Yes . . ."

"Then let's go."

**XxX**

It was oddly quiet in the kitchens; the house elves had retired for the night, telling the two students not to hesitate to beckon them. Though Lily would have usually found the silence soothing, tonight it felt dangerous. It felt alive, as though it was waiting to swallow Lily when she least expected it. Still slightly uneasy, Lily had just opened her mouth to speak, when Reggie gave her a sad smile.

"It's not easy being alone, is it?"

Lily was taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"I know how you feel, Lily. You feel empty, alone, frozen inside. Your heart is broken and your soul feels torn. You don't think there's anything left living for anymore, because you've messed your life up too much for it to ever be undone. But there is a cause, Lily Evans, there's a cause worth fighting for. You can feel it, can't you? You can feel the darkness pulsing around you. It's alive, you know it is. Don't fight it, Lily, accept it, embrace it. He wants you, Lily. He'll make you feel accepted. You won't need those petty emotions, he'll fill you with strength, and he'll give you everything you need. You know you want to give in, Lily. Accept the Dark Lord; he's been waiting for you for so long." His eyes glinted with malice as he proclaimed these finally words, taking joy in the fear that shone in Lily's eyes.

"Reggie, what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"

"It's no joke, Lily, I've felt that emptiness before. It's a feeling no one should ever have to encounter, and now, neither of us will have to anymore. I've been saved, Lily, and soon you will be too."

"Reggie," she took a step backwards, inching towards the door. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but this isn't funny anymore. I'm leaving."

"No, you're not." With a flick of his wand Lily was pinned against the wall. "The Dark Lord has been waiting for this moment for so long, mudblood, I won't make him wait any longer."

Lily struggled, determined to keep Reggie speaking while she concentrated on finding a way out of his spell. "Why would the Dark Lord want me? What you've said is true, I am muggle-born."

Reggie laughed, a cold, menacing laugh that chilled Lily to the bones. "You may be a mudblood, but you're clever and bright. The Dark Lord believes you have a purpose, one that you will undoubtedly serve."

"What purpose?" she gasped as he started forward. "What purpose will I serve?"

"You mean you don't know? Clever Lily can't figure out her destiny?" he laughed yet again. "Think about it Lily. The Great War is coming, and the darkness needs to defeat those enemies strongest in the arts of light. Who do you know who has a powerful link to two of the most powerful aurors?"

"James," Lily whispered suddenly, forgetting Reggie could hear her. "I'm just the bait, its James you really want."

"See, I knew you could figure it out." He inched closer. "It is time, Lily. Time to put aside this petty conversation, time to accept your destiny. You can feel it, can't you Lily? The Dark Lord can give you whatever you desire."

As he pressed closer, Lily saw images swim before her. All of her dreams, from graduating Hogwarts as a Valedictorian, to marrying the one man she truly loved, Lily could feel the darkness pulsing around her, tempting her. "No, no," she murmured weakly. "I don't believe it, I don't."

"The Dark Lord can offer you anything, Lily Evans, accept him, and your dreams will all come true."

"No, no," she whispered, but she could feel herself weakening. The Dark Lord was too strong, too overpowering. And the dreams, ah her dreams, she wanted them all so badly, could he really give them to her?

"Yes, Lily Evans," a cruel, icy voice broke from the darkness, "You will have all that you desire. I want you, mudblood, and you need me. I can make the emptiness go away. Together, we can destroy the one who's done this to you. Together, we can destroy James Potter."

"No!" she shrieked, a blinding light emanating from her body, fighting the darkness. "You won't hurt him! I. Love. Him!"

"Don't you touch her!" A loud voice broke through the darkness and lights shimmered around Lily's head. Dimly, she could make out Reggie backing into a corner, cowering before the new entrant. "Get out, Regulus, leave now. Dumbledore is coming. Not even Voldemort can defeat Dumbledore."

"Don't say his name," Reggie hissed, his face pallid with fear.

"I'm warning you, Regulus."

The boy's eyes twitched nervously, "You may have won this time, Potter, but the Dark Lord with have you!"

James Potter lunged towards the boy, but Regulus had disappeared in a puff of thickening black smoke. Cursing, he turned from the empty corner, and shifted towards Lily, catching her in his arms as Regulus' spell was broken, and she fell from the wall.

"Lily, are you all right?"

Lily turned her face up, meeting his almond shaped eyes. Her face registered a look of surprise, which quickly faded into one of defiance. "I've told you before, Potter, I can handle myself."

"And I've told you before," he cradled her close, breathing in her sweet scent as her body shivered against his. "My name is James." And with that, he softly pressed his lips against hers, banishing the emptiness within her, and filling it with what she craved. Love.

**XxX**

**A/N:** Meh, not quite sure I'm happy with that last line, but then again . . . this fever is probably making me semi-delirious. Happy Holidays to Everyone! Or, as John Mayer would say, Happy Nondenominational Holiday!

_**Please Review!!**_


	31. Through the Darkness

**A/N:** Nope, I have not dropped off the face of the planet, I'm still here – just buried waist-deep in homework.

For those of you who are confused, all italicized writing is thoughts (and in the case of this chapter, dreams).

**XxX**

"Someone's coming," Remus and Sirius skidded to a halt as staggering footsteps thudded through the hall ahead of them. Diving behind a suit of armor, the two boys held their breath, half-expecting Filch to jump out at them at any moment.

"They're carrying something, something heavy," Remus muttered, almost to himself. "You can tell by how heavy the steps are, how they thud, and how they stagger. . ."

"Maybe it's a drunken troll." Sirius hissed sarcastically, "In which case, SHUT-UP BEFORE IT HEARS YOU!"

Remus shut his mouth obediently, surprised by his sudden outburst. He had always been the most levelheaded of the marauders, the one who kept his cool by keeping the others out of trouble. But lately he'd been feeling slightly edgy, anxious; perhaps it was because of how his three closest friends seemed to all be on different pages now. They weren't the close-knit group they'd began the year as. Peter was quiet, always disappearing with some forgotten project. Sirius was sullen and easily agitated, though Lily and James' break-up seemed to have rekindled his old attitude. James was so wrapped up in Lily that he barely had time to be himself any more. And Remus . . . what was he exactly? Oneself never seems to change, though he knew he must have. _It's just our angsty teen years,_ Remus tried to convince himself. _We're not drifting apart; we're just trying to cope in the end of school our own ways._

Remus was brought back to attention by Sirius' elbow in his side. A figure stepped in front of the suit of armor, repositioning his lad. The man looked strangely familiar with his fly-away hair, square-jaw, handsome profile . . .

"James?" Sirius questioned incredulously, recognizing his friend a split second before Remus.

Startled, James almost dropped Lily, catching her slipping body just before she slid from his arms. "Sirius? Remus? What are you . . .?"

"We could ask you the same question, mate. We wakeup to find you and the map missing, take off to find you, and here you are. Looks like you've accomplished both our tasks." Sirius sighed, nodding at Lily.

"What?"

"He wanted to get you and Lily back together," Remus explained.

"Oh," James looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms. "Oh!"

"You just have to take all the fun out of life, don't you Prongs?" Sirius mock glared.

"Yes, because carrying a hundred some pound seventeen year old is just oh so much fun!" James rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.

Sirius snorted, "It's good to have you back, Jamesie-boy."

Though the nickname usually elicited some sort of ill remark of outrage, James merely grinned. "It's good to be back, Siir."

**XxX**

The three friends trudged into the common room at half past one, thoroughly agitated after spending a quarter of the hour being interrogated and hassled by a disgruntled Fat Lady.

"_I shouldn't even be letting you three in! You're a disgrace to generations of Gryffindors, always troubling the school, sneaking off in that cloak of yours, harassing young girls, sneaking back and waking up respectable patrons of the school, like myself!"_ Sirius mimicked in a shrill voice, glaring spitefully at the back end of the portrait. "What I wouldn't give to give her a swift kick up her-"

"Padfoot," Remus shook his head wearily.

"I'm serious, Moony." Sirius said, "She's almost as bad as the old hag who calls herself my mum. Speaking of old hags," Sirius rounded on James who was gently setting a sleeping Lily down on the couch. "Care to explain what happened to your girl?"

James shifted uneasily, bouncing on the balls of his feet and stretching his sore arms. "I don't think you really want to know."

"Of course we do! Lily's just as much our friend as yours!"

"I don't think that's what James meant, was it?" Remus said softly.

Sirius' eyes narrowed, "You mean one of my 'beloved family members' did this?"

"Trust me," James said again, his eyes on the floor, "You don't want to-"

"Don't give me that, James! If it was one of my bloody relative I deserve to know! You'd want to know if one of your relatives tried to off my girlfriend, wouldn't you?" Sirius was seething now, eyes full of rage – not for James, but for who ever had attacked Lily. "Out with it James, was it Bellatrix?"

James shook his head, trying to find his voice. "No, Sirius, it – it was Regulus."

Sirius nodded slowly, his face pale, throat so dry that his next words came out as a hoarse croak. "Right," He cleared his throat. "Right, so he's finally turned then, has he? Well, good riddance!"

"Sirius," James placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "It's not your fault."

"He's right, y'know." Remus joined in. "There's nothing you could have done."

Sirius just sighed, shrugging the two off of him. "I'm going to sleep before I pass out."

Remus turned to James as the watched Sirius walk dejectedly up the stairs. "You coming?"

"Nah, I don't want to leave her alone." He gestured to Lily.

"People will talk," Remus smirked.

"Let them. I can't leave her alone." James began pushing the couch towards the far wall.

"You know, you're really growing up, James." Remus said a hint of pride and admiration in his voice.

"Aw, stop it Moony, I'm blushing." James fanned his face with his hand, fluttering his eyelashes.

Remus just laughed, shoving James before walking up the stairs to his room. "Obviously not that much."

**XxX**

_Darkness pushed around Lily, seeping in to every corner of her mind. She moaned, twisting and turning, trying to claw her way through the thickening void. Suddenly, there was a brilliant flash of white – purer than any color she'd ever seen. It seemed to contain every color of the rainbow and it danced playfully on the edges of the void, slowly absorbing the darkness until there wasn't a single hint of back left. Lily found herself suspended in emptiness and she began to fall. Arms flailing, she reached for something hold, to grasp to, and then she was in his arms, her face buried deep into the chest of James Potter._

Lily woke with a start, eyes rolling wildly, trying to determine where she was. The common room, she realized. Someone had turned a couch towards a wall, shielding her from view as she slept. Yawning slightly, she rolled over to face the wall, all to aware of the sudden ache that spread like fire through her bones. She could vaguely remember the past night's events; the blinding tears, Reggie, ice cream, the pain of being thrown against a wall, James . . .

Lily sat up quickly, instantly cursing herself as pain racked through her body once more. James had saved her last night, after all she'd said he'd still come after her, risked his own life just to keep her safe. Reggie's words came flowing back, haunting her mind. Voldemort was after the Potters, trying to get to jams to get to his parents. Lily had merely been a pawn in his twisted game.

"Hey, you're up," a familiar voice murmured shyly.

Lily slowly turned her head, wincing in pain, to face James. His hair was more tousled than usual, his wrinkled robes suggesting he hadn't bothered changing into night clothes before sleeping. His broad hands were cupped around a steaming porcelain teacup which he promptly handed to Lily who looked at him in question.

"It's hot chocolate, it should make you feel a bit better, take some of the pain away." He scuffed his foot nervously on the carpet.

Lily obediently took a sip, feeling warmth spreading through her body. "Did you do all this?" She gestured towards the couch, noticing for the first time a pile of blankets on the floor beside it.

"Yeah," James took a seat next to her. "I knew I couldn't carry you up to the girls' dorm, so I figured this was the next best thing. I slept on the floor, in case you woke up and didn't know where you were." He blushed, realizing he was rambling.

Lily stared down at her cup, absently turning it in her hands. "Why are you being so nice to me, James? I was so cruel to you," there were tears in her eyes as she whispered. "I don't deserve any of this."

"Hey," James brushed a strand of hair from her face, stroking her cheek with the back of his calloused hand. "Don't you ever say that, Lil. So you got mad at me, who hasn't? That doesn't mean we can't work this out. I love you, Lily. I always have. And try as you might to hide it, I know part of you still loves me as well."

Lily couldn't help it any more, tears were streaming down her face as James held her in a protective embrace, rocking her as she cried. "I was so scared, James, I was so afraid I'd never see you again."

"I'm not going anywhere, Lil, I'm never going to leave you, understand?" He felt her nod against his chest while he combed his fingers through her hair. "No matter what happens in the future we'll always work it out. We'll fight together, Lily. Nothing can ever take you away from me."

"James," Lily pulled away, wanting desperately to believe him but afraid to do so. "He's after you, after your family."

James heaved a heavy sigh, staring past Lily. "I know."

"You do?"

He nodded. "I've always known he would come fore us, it was just a matter of time. But my parents can handle themselves, it's you I'm worried about."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You've already been targeted once, what's to stop Voldemort from trying again? I don't' want you to get hurt, Lily."

Lily stared up at him adamantly, "Didn't you just say that we'd fight together?"

"I didn't mean-"

"James," she cut him off with a glare. "Even if we did separate, I told Reggie that I love you. Voldemort knows, he knows he can still get to you through me. We're going to fight this together, James."

He smiled at her, eyes alight with love and tenderness. "All right, you win." He bent down, capturing her lips with his. To Lily the kiss was magical in all senses; all the pain and exhaustion drained from her body, leaving her full of love and laughter. James gently eased her to the couch, engrossing himself in the kiss. Lily giggled into his mouth as his fingers brushed her side, tickling her softly.

"Well it's about bloody time."

Lily and James rolled off the couch, startled by the sudden intrusion.

"Sirius," James panted, surveying the small crowd that had assembled behind the couch. "Remus, Maren, Peter, Andy; 'morning."

"Sorry 'bout that, Prongs," Remus smiled apologetically. "But you two _are_ the Head Boy and Girl, and I doubt McGonagall would have been pleased to hear about you two going at it for all the first years to see."

Lily blushed furiously, stealing a glance at James who was grinning sheepishly.

"Not that we aren't' happy you two have worked this out though," Andy smiled.

"But if you two want to make it to class on time," Maren joined in, "You might want to go get ready."

"Right," Lily rose to her feet, smoothing out the wrinkles in her robes. "I guess I'll go shower then."

James made to follow her, but his fellow marauders held him back, letting the girls follow Lily up the stairs.

"Let her go, Prongs, she's coming back."

"Right," James stared longingly up the stairs, then, resigned, he headed back to his own room.

**XxX**

**A/N:** Only one or two chapters left!

_**Please Review!!**_


	32. The Many Faces aka In a New Light

**A/N:** Sorry for such a long delay! You all have Dr. T to thank for this chapter, if he hadn't called a snow day I don't think it would have made it up for another month. Enjoy!

All italicized writing is either thoughts, or in this case, notes.

**XxX**

_Lil, I'm sorry I flipped out on you. I never meant to hurt you._

_Don't worry Mari, you never hurt me, I hurt myself._

_So . . . friends?_

_Definitely._

"Miss Evans, as thrilled as I am for your renewed friendship with Miss Goldberg, might I remind you that your NEWT examination is less than a week away? Perhaps you could suspend this note passing until after class."

"Yes Professor McGonagall" Lily answered meekly. As the stern professor turned Lily obediently bent her head over her notes with every intention of paying attention for the remainder of the class.

A piece of crumpled paper bounced off Lily's shoulder and landed atop of her notes. Throwing a furtive glance at McGonagall, Lily cautiously unfolded the paper, not surprised to see James' messy scrawl beckoning her.

_Hey Lil,_

_How you holding up? Sorry, again, about everything this morning. I hope the girls didn't give you too hard of a time about it. I'm sure you can just imagine everything the guys said, Sirius in particular. Sirius says he has something in mind about graduation and that he wants to talk after class. Just thought I'd give you some warning and time to brace yourself. Love you!_

_J_

Lily smiled to herself, tucking the note into her robes as McGonagall called the lesson to a close. "As your last Transfiguration assignment I am passing out a review packet that will help you to prepare for you NEWTs. I will be in my office after class if you have an further questions. Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, a moment please." Lily and James exchanged anxious glances. Had she seen the note? "No need to look so worried!" She let out a rare laugh as the two shuffled forward. "As you know there is a graduation ceremony that needs to be organized. Now, as both head and graduating students you have the option of either organizing the event yourselves or leaving that task to the prefects."

Lily glanced at James, trying to read his expression. Slowly he raised his eyes to McGonagall. "Professor, with everything that's been going on lately in the world, and the dark times we're heading into, I'd like to give the students something great to remember Hogwarts by. Something that will take their minds off all the trauma in the world, at least for the night. I can't speak for Lily, but I'd like to organize graduation this year, even if I have to do it myself."

Lily beamed at her boyfriend's selflessness. For the first time that year, Lily felt as though she were truly seeing the James Potter that was hidden underneath all appearances. She linked her arm with his, "You won't have to do it yourself, I'll be right there with you."

McGonagall tried not to let her pride for her two students show as she smiled down at them. "Very well then, I expect you both know how much work needs to be done. The ceremony will take place on the Friday following your NEWT examinations. If you feel the added strain of planning is too much for you to cope, don't hesitate to call on the prefects for help."

"It will be a challenge," James nodded, "but I'm sure Lily and I will be able to handle it."

There was a moment of silence as Minerva McGonagall observed her pupils. They'd come so far in such a short span of time. After five years of constant teasing and bickering she'd begun to believe that even Dumbledore's good intentions were blinding him from the truth. How could a lazy, reckless marauder like James ever end up with the dedicated and temperamental Lily? A smile tugged at her lips as she watched Lily looking admiringly at James and James adoringly at her. "I'm keeping you two, you'd best be off."

**XxX**

"So," Lily sucked on the end of a sugarquill nervously, trying to ignore the blinding whiteness of the unmarked paper in her hands.

"So," James repeated, regarding her with amusement dancing in his eyes.

"We really need to get started."

"I know."

"So . . .?"

"So, what?"

Lily rolled her eyes. She was beginning to think the James she'd seen in McGonagall's office wasn't the real James at all, just another side of his multi-faced personality. "_So_ this was _your_ idea, James."

"Yet you agreed to go along with it, much to my surprise."

"Well, it was a brilliant idea . . ."

"Thanks,"

"But I'm beginning to think the person who gave the idea was just having a brief moment of brilliance and didn't realize what, exactly, he was getting himself into."

"I know what I'm doing, Lil," James leaned across the table, kissing her cheek lightly.

"Sure you do,"

"I do!"

"All right then, prove it." Lily slid her blank sheet of paper across the table to James, tossing him a quill.

He blinked once, twice, three times, staring blankly at the paper. "And how do I do that?"

Lily shook her head, "We have to _plan_ this James. I know planning is a concept you haven't quite grasped yet, but it must be done, okay? You can't throw something like this together at the last minute, not if you want it to work."

"Well, Sirius wants to spike the punch with firewhisky."

Lily wrinkled her nose, "Is _that_ what you said he wanted to talk to us about? No, no definitely not. This is going to be _nice_, James Potter. We are _not_ going to have drunk students wandering the halls."

"I agree,"

"James, I don't care what you – what?" Lily blinked, "Sorry, I must have misheard you, what did you just say?"

James was unable to keep a smiling from breaking across his face as he stared at her shocked expression. "I said, 'I agree,' this is Graduation, not some stupid school dance. It should be nice. I was thinking . . . fairy lights strung across the grounds, music filtering in lightly so that people can dance, a buffet table set up for those who want to eat . . ."

Lily grabbed the paper from him and began furiously scribbling down each word James said, a small smile unfurling across her lips. Perhaps she'd been wrong all along.

**XxX**

Lily and James were sitting around the fire the next day, heads bent forward, foreheads nearly touching as the extended and embellished their plans for the upcoming ceremony. Lily's face was twisted in a look of irritation, while a smirk played on James' lips as he waved away her retorts. Glaring fiercely at James' arrogance, Lily slapped his hand away when he raised it to brush a strand of hair from her face, and he caught her hand in his, entwining their fingers together. Lily tried to tug her fingers away, but James just laughed, dropping her hand and catching her face between his fingers. Lily wasn't glaring any more, her angry expression had melted from her face, replaced by one struggling to hide the overwhelming love that built up inside her. James traced the smoothness of her skin with his fingers, pulling her trembling lips into a smile before catching them with his own. The two sat there, completely immersed within one another, oblivious to the passing of students behind them, oblivious to anything but each other.

"PRONGS!" Sirius bellowed, thumping the back of the chair James sat in.

Lily and James quickly pulled apart, guilty smiles on their faces.

"Prongs, mate," Sirius slapped James' back, grinning at the boy, "Moony 'n' I are heading out for a game of Quidditch. You coming?"

A look of longing clouded James' eyes, yet who shook it out almost immediately, forcing a grim smile to his face. "Sorry, Padfoot, I've got to finalize these plans for Graduation."

"Pro-ongs!" Sirius whined, eyes as wide as saucers, pulling the closest imitation to a 'puppy-dog face' that Lily had ever seen. "That's all you've done for the last 48 hours, you deserve a break!"

Lily watched James carefully, waiting for him to break, to cave in, as she knew he would, to his friend's request. But for the second time in the last two days, James Potter took her by surprise. "No, Padfoot, I'm sorry. I promised McGonagall that Lily and I would take care of this. And no," he cut off his friend, anticipating Sirius' next question, "I'm not going to leave Lily with all the work." _No matter how much I may want to._

"Go," Lily whispered.

"What?" Both boys stared at her, somewhat bewilderedly.

"Go," she smiled, "I can take care of the rest myself. Sirius is right," she nudged James, "you need a break. You're no good to me like this, you need to lighten up a bit."

James stared at Lily uncomprehendingly. _Is this some sort of test?_ But he knew he wasn't, his test had been saying 'no' to Sirius from the start. From the look in Lily's eyes, he could tell he had already passed. "Are you sure?" He whispered, "I could just as easily stay here with you . . ."

Lily could hear the longing in his voice, and despite his offerings she knew he was already souring around the Quidditch pitch in his mind. "All we have left is to recheck everything, I can handle it myself. Go."

"Did you hear her, James? She said you can go. Now let's go before she changes her mind!" Sirius tugged on James' arm, pulling him out of the seat with just enough time for James to mouth "thank you" to Lily.

Lily smiled, shaking her head and turned back to the stack of paper, already dreading the hours of calculations awaiting her.

**XxX**

"Liiiiiiiiiily, you're going to drive yourself mad," Maren hounded her friend, grabbing a sheet of calculations from Lily's hands.

"Mari, give that back!" Lily whined, "I'm almost finished! I just need to recheck it once more . . ."

"No, Lil, that's your language for 'oh, only an hour or two more of stressing myself out.' I'm not giving it back! You look awful! You need a break!"

"Gee, thanks Mari," Lily grumbled.

"Just being honest," her friend shrugged, rummaging in her school bag and producing a mirror. "You wouldn't want James walking in with you looking like this, would you?"

Lily grabbed the mirror, praying that she didn't look as bad as Maren let on. After one glance in the mirror, however, she let out a low moan. She did. Loose strands of hair were escaping her pony-tail, sticking out from her head at odd angles. A pencil was tucked behind her ear, giving reason for the odd graphite smudges across her pallid cheeks. Her eyes were rimmed red and bags hung from beneath them, giving her a slightly haunted look. "Ugh, Maren, I look like one of the living dead."

"I could've told you that."

Lily lashed out with her arm, mock-slapping Maren on the shoulder. "Remind me why I'm friends with you, again?"

Maren smiled wickedly, "Because I'm the only one who can make you look fabulous in the ten minutes before dinner, not to mention the one who's going to make you look killer for graduation. C'mon."

Laughing, Lily allowed herself to be dragged from the common room up to her dorm, leaving all stressful thoughts behind her.

**XxX**

**A/N:** Very short, I know . But I'm battling writer's block and mountains of homework. Hopefully I'll be able to write more soon.

_**Please Review!**_


	33. Three Little Words

**A/N:** I know it's been an extremely long time, but this is by far one of the longest chapters I've ever written, and I wanted to make sure it all sounded semi-right before going up as this is the last chapter. I hope it was worth the wait!

A large part of this chapter is dedicated to **BrownEyedAthena** for questioning on the fight between Sirius and Kelly. I hope this makes the story seem more complete.

All thoughts are italicized.

**XxX**

A case of senioritis had never been more evident in a group of Hogwarts' seventh years. Students stared idly out classroom windows while teachers tried to press additional information into already bursting brains. Those students who had slacked off in previous years frantically scribbled down unneeded notes, spending endless hours cramming for the impending NEWTs. As the eve of exams drew closer many students, including the marauders, through in the towel, mutually deciding that if they didn't know what they needed now they never would. And then there were those like Lily Evans; students who, for the most part, agreed with the marauders' philosophy yet couldn't resist studying their notes occasionally, often for unintended hours. These were the students who were fearful that if they didn't give in to the urge to reread over a certain subject it would undoubtedly appear on the exams in great detail.

As their days at Hogwarts drew to a close, however, most students abandoned their studies in favor for leisurely strolls across the grounds. But unlike most students, Lily and James' strolls were almost always strictly business. They had taken a lot upon themselves in deciding to organize the graduation ceremony, and James was adamant that everything needed to be perfect. They had scoped out the area for the reception and had roped it off from students. Little by little each day they slowly accumulated decorations and in the spare time had begun to set the area.

Having decided to let as few seventh-years as possible see the area before the ceremony, Lily and James had enlisted the aid of the younger prefects. Though they had directed the prefects multiple time throughout the year, the Head Boy and Girl found this ordeal very trying; James in particular. He wanted everything to be perfect and was so easily frustrated that he ended up doing the majority of the tasks himself, opting for the "if you want something done right, do it yourself" method. When James grumbled to Lily at the end of the day about the "incompetent" prefects and everything that he felt "went wrong," Lily simply laughed and kissed his forehead. She loved the drive in James, his unwavering determination, but even she could see when the boy just needed to have fun. His antics were something for her to laugh at and, in turn, her laughter seemed to soothe his sour mood. And as Lily found amusement in James' frustration, he seemed to find the same in her occasional panic attacks. One moment Lily would be laughing with Maren, and the next she'd be sized by a momentary memory lapse with which she felt the need to go tearing through each of her textbooks. The first time this had occurred James had taken great pleasure in hiding her transfiguration textbook, but as her panicked frenzy soon escalated to a flood of tears he'd learned that it was better not to toy with her during these phases.

Though the seventh-years continued through the motions of preparing for graduation, none seemed to take into account that this was the last time they'd be doing so.

**XxX  
**

"Li-ily! Lily, Lily, Li-ily!"

Lily looked up from where she'd been studying her History of Magic notes with Maren, Dorcas, and Andromeda. James had come bursting through the portrait hole, his face red and panting heavy with exertion.

Lily cocked her head to the side, her flaming red hair cascading over her shoulder. She glanced at her friends who merely shrugged before she rolled her eyes back to James. "Um, James?"

James skidded to a halt in front of the table, kneeling beside Lily. "Lil, will you go to the dance after graduation with me?"

Lily had to bite her lip to keep from asking. _James came running in here just to ask me that?_ "I assumed we were already going together. After all, isn't that one of the perks to having a boyfriend? You always have someone to go with."

James' brow furrowed, "So, you weren't planning on going with Amos Diggory?"

Lily regarded him with a strange look. "No . . ."

"Even though he gave you a bouquet of roses?" James prodded.

Lily exchanged glances with her friends, "Roses?"

James' eyes widened, "You mean he didn't give you flowers?"

"No . . ."

"And he didn't propose to you in the middle of Muggle Studies?"

"James, I don't even take Muggle Studies."

James blinked, "You don't? Hey, you're right, you don't!"

Lily rolled her eyes at her friend who were all trying hard to restrain their laughter.

"So," James continued, sounding relieved. "No one asked you to the dance?"

"Yes, people asked me, but I told them all I was going with you." She hastily added, seeing James' downtrodden expression.

"Really?"

"Yes, really," Lily couldn't help smiling.

"You're the best," James smiled and kissed Lily before running back out through the portrait hole.

Lily turned back to her friends, "So, what was that all about?"

The other three girls looked and each other before laughing. "Sirius."

"You really think so?"

"Lily," Maren laid her hand on Lily's arm, "your boyfriend just ran in here convinced that you were going to marry Amos Diggory. Who else could convince James of that? I mean, I know James is paranoid, but seriously."

Lily swatted at her friend, "Oy, that's _my_ boyfriend you're talking about."

"Which is what makes it all the more tragic."

"At least I'm not the one who's seemed to have overlooked the fact that her boyfriend is a-" Lily froze mid-sentence, mortified at what she'd almost let slip.

"The fact that my boyfriend is a what?" Maren asked curiously.

"He's a, uh," Lily floundered, "um, a . . . prefect . . ."

Maren rose her eyebrows, "Smooth, Lil, real smooth."

"No to interrupt or anything," Dorcas smiled sweetly, "but might I interject that this discussion is slightly depressing for me 'n' Andy as we are currently boyfriend-less?"

"Sorry," Maren and Lily chorused, smiling apologetically.

"Not a problem," Andromeda smiled as the girls all turned back to their notes, only looking up to clarify a scrawled date or to ask a question about one of the numerous goblin rebellions.

Dorcas tapped her pencil against the hollow of her shoulder, surveying the other three girls as they bent over their notes. For reasons no doctor had ever been able to explain to her, Dorcas had a very short attention span. Combined with her short temper and frequent bursts of energy, it took more than patience to maintain a stable friendship with the girl. Sighing, Dorcas slammed her textbook shut, receiving numerous "Shh!"s from vexed students. "Oh, shush yourselves!" She yelled back, ignoring the glares. "So, what are you all planning on doing after Hogwarts?"

Andromeda shrugged, "You already know my answer. I have absolutely no idea. I want to help people, but I know I don't have the courage to be an auror."

Lily nodded, "I don't know how anyone can do that, to purposely put their life on the line."

Andromeda sighed, "I know that's what Sirius is going to do. I think he sees it as a way to erase his shame of being a Black."

"I think all the marauders are planning on being aurors."

Dorcas looked at Lily in surprise, "Even Peter?"

Maren snorted before Lily could respond, "Peter has followed in James and Sirius' footsteps all seven years at Hogwarts. Your really think he's going to stop just because school's over?"

"Lily," Andromeda looked closely at the girl, "I don't mean to pry, but isn't that going to be kind of hard on you? How are you going to cope knowing that James is out there?"

Lily smiled wryly, "The best way I know how, I'm planning on studying to be a Healer. I figure at least this way I won't be feeling completely helpless."

The girls all sat immersed in thoughts of Lily's bravery, knowing that she was putting herself in a thoroughly depressing situation. How would she survive if James was brought in in an incurable state?

Dorcas cleared her throat, "What about you, Maren? Any thoughts on after school?"

"That's easy," Maren grinned, "Muggle/Wizard Relations."

Dorcas wrinkled her nose, "Sounds perfectly boring, if you ask me."

"Well, no one asked you, did they?" Andromeda rolled her eyes at her friend.

"My brothers are Muggles," Maren explained, unfazed by Dorcas' declaration. "And with everything that's been going on lately, I think the world could use a little union between the two worlds. After all, unsuspecting Muggles are being used as pawns in Voldemorts plans every day, aren't they? It's only fair that they're at least a bit informed about what's affecting their lives."

Now it was Lily who rolled her eyes, "You really shouldn't have gotten her started; she can go on for hours about this."

"Just because I know where I stand . . ." Maren started hotly.

"And soon the whole common room will know where you stand, Mari." Lily spoke in slow tones, as if explaining the situation to a small child. "But you see, we all have exams tomorrow, so I think it's probably best for the entire castle if you keep your views to yourself until after graduation, okay?"

Maren grumbled to herself about insufferable know-it-alls and pointless-exams, but relented and turned to a fresh page in her notebook, leaving the rest of the common room to study in peace.

**XxX**

To say that the NEWT examinations passed by uneventfully would hardly be truthful. It was a time of stress that most seventh years would be dying to forget, yet they knew the memories would be imprinted in their minds for a lifetime. No one would forget how a nervous Hufflepuff had mumbled the wrong incantation beneath their breath during the Charms exam and let loose a series of small tornadoes loose in the Great Hall. Nor would they forget how the Marauders had charmed all the suits of armor to sing a revised version of "There Won't Be School No More" to the tune of the Battle Hymn Republic each time a Professor walked by. (**A/N:** Find the book of poems "No More Homework, No More Tests" if you want to know what I'm talking about).

By the end of day three of their NEWT examinations, the seventh year students had little time to celebrate before returning to their dormitories early in order to prepare for the graduation ceremony that evening. To be truthful, however, most students would be forced to admit that it was the ceremony they were most looking forward to, but the dance that would be held afterwards. It would be the last chance to talk with friends before boarding the Hogwarts Express the next morning and riding off into their new lives. Though they all tried to keep the mood light and cheerful while dressing, the fact that this was the last night in what they had considered home for the past seven years lingered darkly in the back of each student's mind.

But unlike most students, Lily Evans' mind was fully occupied with two things: how she looked, and how much of a fool she was going to appear when she stood to give her speech in front of all the seventh years, their parents, and the Professors.

"Lil," Maren said for what she felt was the hundredth time that evening. "You wouldn't have been chosen to give a speech if Dumbledore didn't think you were cut out for the job. And besides, you look gorgeous; James isn't going to be able to string two words together when he sees you in this."

Lily had no doubt that the latter part of the sentence was true. She did look fairly good in the creamy white dress robes she'd found clinging to her every curve. Her hair was piled on top of her head with no more than a few wisps sweeping the back of her neck. But even knowing that she looked "gorgeous" did nothing to soothe her nerves. "Mari, everyone thinks Dumbledore is off his rocker, he's been wrong before."

Maren had to smile at this, "Like how you were so sure he was wrong with his chose of Head Boy? You were sure that he was 'off his rocker' then, but that turned out okay, didn't it?"

"I guess so . . ."

"You know so, James has been a great Head Boy and you are going to give a terrific speech. You've always been a great public speaker, Lil, rather you intended to or not. That's what made you a fantastic prefect, the way you could whip speeches off the top of your head to give to those people you caught. And they way you always told off James in front of the school, you never had any stage fright then."

Lily blushed, "No, I guess not. But those were all spur of the moment things . . ."

"So think of how much better it will sound when you've practiced it a hundred times. Besides, if you freeze I'll come to your rescue. I've heard your speech so many times that I could recite it in my sleep."

Lily smiled, reaching over to give her friend a hug. "Thanks, Mari, you're the greatest."

"Duh, why else would you have been friends with me for the past seven years?" Maren teased, "After all, Lily Evans never has settled for second best."

**XxX**

James paced anxiously around the Entrance Hall, waiting for Lily to arrive. They'd planned to enter the ceremony together as James was the Master of Ceremony and Lily was valedictorian. He'd never been more nervous in his life; for the past month he and Lily had been planning for this ceremony, he'd put everything he had into it, now all that was left was to sit and watch and pray that the ceremony wasn't one gargantuan mistake. He could hear the murmuring of the restless audience within the Great Hall. "C'mon, Lil," her muttered under his breath, "Where are you?"

"Right here," she murmured in his ear. James whirled around to find Lily standing in front of him, glowing radiantly in the dim light. "Sorry I'm late, I got a bit held up with Mari."

"T-that's, f-fine," he stuttered, staring dazedly at her.

She giggled, "I take it I look okay, then?"

"You look . . ." James searched for a word that would do justice to her angelic appearance. "Beautiful."

Lily flashed him a brilliant smile, "Well, in that case, Mr. Potter, I do believe I need an escort."

"Why, Miss Evans, do forgive me for being so rude. You look absolutely ravishing this evening. Perchance may I accompany you into the Great Hall?" He bowed, extending his arm out for hers.

"Why, of course, Mr. Potter. I thought you'd never asked." Lily linked her arm with James and together the two walked into the Great Hall, a wave of tumultuous applause washing over them as they strolled to the stage.

James cleared his throat, approaching the podium. He glanced down over the crowd, his eyes lighting on those who had stood by him all the years at Hogwarts, the people he would never forget. Taking in a deep breath, James smiled slightly; this ceremony was for them. For the people who spent their lives making everyone else's seem worthwhile, it was for them that he wanted this evening to last a lifetime.

Lily was slightly more nervous as she took the stand, she knew how important this ceremony was – not just for James, but for the school as a whole. She knew that this would be the last graduation ceremony of its kind, the last ceremony before the wizarding world turned to face the growing threats Voldemort and his kind. It was for this ceremony that she had worked her hardest to write and memorize the perfect speech, the speech that she felt so unworthy yet so privileged to give. Lily could feel James' eyes on her, she could feel his smile, his trust within her; and with the knowledge that he was sitting there loving her, Lily began her speech.

**XxX**

A string quartet played merrily by the stone fountain, their music stands dimly lit by the fairy lights strung about the garden. Students laughed giddily as they stood talking by the buffet table, sat round small circular tables, and swayed on the dance floor. As far as James could tell, the ceremony had been a success and the dance was promising to be even better. He couldn't help but feel proud of the work that he and Lily had done. He leaned back in his chair, smiling smugly at Lily, Remus, Maren, Sirius, and Peter. "So, am I brilliant or what?"

Lily bumped her shoulder against his, "Excuse me, but did you just say that _you_ were brilliant? I think you were meaning _we_."

"Of course," James grinned, "Of course I meant we! You just heard me wrong, is all."

"Oh, uh-huh."

"Seriously!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously!"

"Oh, I am so sure, James Potter." Lily winked at the other four at the table as James mouthed wordlessly at her.

"Li-ily!" he whined, "I'm serious, I meant we! Really I did! You have to believe me, I-"

"Hey, Lil," Sirius nodded at her, "What d'you say you put an end to his babbling?"

Lily smiled mischievously, "Of course. James," she turned to her boyfriend, cutting off his rambling with her lips against her. "Shut-up."

The table applauded as the now speechless James kissed his girlfriend back, trying hard to keep from grinning.

Sirius was the first to interrupt what was promising to be an interesting make-out session. "As much as I'm enjoying this little rendezvous of yours, I think I'm going to take this as my cue to leave." He rose to leave as James removed one arm from around Lily to wave Sirius off.

Sirius smirked as he left the table. If anyone had told him at the beginning of the year that he'd be spending his graduation watching Lily and James snog, he'd have suggested that they'd had one too many fire whiskeys. Not that he wasn't pleased with how the year had turned out, it was much quieter in his dorm for one thing, without the endless moans of the pains of unrequited love from James. But Sirius had to admit that he did miss have a girlfriend of his own. Suddenly, Sirius noticed a particular girl on the dance floor, a girl he felt compelled to have one last conversation with before saying good-bye forever. After all, that _was_ the point of the dance.

"Hey, Davies," Sirius sauntered over, "mind if I cut in?"

Davies glanced at Sirius warily, and what boy wouldn't? No one wanted Sirius Black for competition, especially when competing for one of his exes.

Kelly Stevonson gave Matthew Davies an award-winning smile, "Would you mind, Matt? It won't take long, I promise. Why don't you go get us some drinks?"

Davies scowled at Sirius before kissing Kelly on the cheek and slinking off, continuously throwing glances over his shoulder at the two.

"Hi," Kelly breathed as Sirius slid his arms around her waist.

"Hi," he smiled back.

There was a slight pause as the two swayed together in time with the music. Kelly exhaled deeply as her body relaxed against Sirius. This felt so right, standing there wrapped in Sirius arms. Suddenly the silence was too much for Kelly to bear. This was their last night together, possibly the last night she'd ever see Sirius, she couldn't just let him walk away without letting him know everything she'd kept bottled up inside . . . without letting him know how she really felt. Kelly wished she had the poise of the movie stars she admired so much, the characters who seemed to know exactly what to say in all the right moments. Unfortunately for her, life was never as easy as the movies made it seem. She cast her mind around nervously searching for a topic, any topic at all. She lifted her head off of his shoulder, staring soulfully into his dark eyes. "I'm taking a year off to study in France . . . will you visit me?"

"Of course."

"I heard there are a lot of beautiful girls there; maybe you'll find someone who can treat you the way you deserve." She smiled coyly. 

"There's only one beautiful girl I want to find, and she's standing right in front of me."

Kelly blushed furiously, sliding back a step so that her hands were now on his shoulders, rather than wrapped around his neck. "Sirius-"

"Shh," he soothed, "It's all right, I know."

"I didn't mean to leave it like that, back in the hospital wing. It's just that, losing you would have hurt too much. I would rather part as friends with the promise of visiting each other, than as lovers who will simply move on." She looked up at him shyly from beneath her lashes. "Is that too much to ask?"

Sirius grinned, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**XxX**

Back at the table, Maren tugged on Remus' arm. "C'mon," she whispered into his ear, "let's give them a moment."

Remus nodded, following Maren away from the table and to the edge of a fountain. She looked particularly pretty, he couldn't help noticing, with her wire-copper curls spilling down the back of her midnight blue robes that glimmered in the fairy lights.

"I almost lost faith in those two," Maren sighed.

"What? Lily and James?" He smiled, looking back to the table where James was currently whispering something into Lily's ear, making her laugh. "I knew they'd work it out eventually."

"And what about us, Remus? Will we working it all out?"

Remus' head snapped up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Maren shrugged, turning her head away before Remus could see the hurt in her eyes. "I know you keep secrets from me, that there's more to you than you let me see . . ."

Remus swallowed hard, his throat seeming to have suddenly gone dry. "Maren, I'm so sorry."

She shrugged again, turning back to him, the hurt replaced by a strange sadness. Wordlessly she curled her arms around his neck. "Let's just dance."

Remus obliged, placing his hands on the small of her back. But as Maren laid her head on his shoulder, his heart tightened in his chest and he knew he oculdn't just let it go. "I never meant to hurt you," he whispered.

Maren pulled back, offering him a crooked smile. "I know you didn't."

"It's just hard for me to open up sometimes; you can ask James and Sirius. They didn't know anything about me – other than what they saw – until third year, and by then we'd already been 'best friends' for three years."

"Remus," Maren smiled, "It's okay, I understand."

He looked pleadingly at her, "are you willing to wait for me?"

Maren gave a soft laugh, "Of course," she kissed him lightly on the lips. "Now, let's dance."

**XxX**

"Hey, Lil, dance with me?" James stood, offering a hand to his girlfriend.

She flashed him a brilliant smile, "I thought you'd never ask."

Peter watched enviously as the two danced their way onto the floor, James twirling Lily every so often in his revised version of the waltz. He watched James spin Lily outwards, pull her back, and dip her low to the ground, sending Lily into a spasm of giggles. He watched as Lily spun inwards to James, planting a kiss on his lips before spinning out again. Peter watched as Sirius strolled over, his eyes shining and hair tousled. He watched Sirius steal Lily out of James' arms and twirl her around before pulling her close, sticking his tongue out at James while Lily's head was turned. Peter watched as Maren and Remus danced over from some obscure area to join the other three. And Peter watched the dance partners change once more. And as Peter watched the five friends smile and laugh, he began to realize how little he belonged in the group, how no one seemed to notice or care that one of their members was missing. But as Peter rose from the table and slipped off into the shadows, he failed to watch Lily step away from the crowd. His eyes downcast and blood pumping in his ears, Peter failed to see Lily's eyes light on him and to hear her voice call him. Without so much as a backward glance, Peter distanced himself from the group for what would eventually become a lifetime.

**XxX**

"Hey, Lil, can you toss me that bag?"

"Siir, can you hoist this up for me?"

"Has anyone seen my wand?"

"Where's my badge? I haven't lost it once all year! Where could it have gone?"

"SIRIUS!"

"What? Why does everyone always assume I'm responsible for every thing that goes wrong?"

Maren rolled her eyes, "Because you always are."

"Oh, James?" Lily's cheeks flushed as she looked down at the Head Boy badge pinned on her chest. "I've got it. Mine must be in my bag."

"See, see?" Sirius yelled triumphantly, "I didn't do it!"

Remus snorted, "Not without lack of trying."

"So, Lil," Maren smiled teasingly, "How did you end up with James' badge, hm?"

The red of Lily's cheeks deepened. James draped an arm around Lily's shoulders. "M.Y.O.B."

"M.Y.O.B.?"

"Make your own beer!"

"Thank you, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall spoke sharply from behind the jubilant boy. "for such an educational declaration, but I believe Mr. Potter meant 'mind your own business'."

"Well, of course he did, Professor. I was merely supplying my own opinion."

"An opinion, I'm sure, we could all do without."

"Aw, c'mon Minerva, darling! Aren't you going to miss us next year?"

"No more disruptive classes? Students who actually respect their teachers, pay attention in class, and, Merlin forbid, do their homework? The mere thought, Mr. Black, is terrifying."

"Aw, you know you'll miss us!

"Yes, but unfortunately it will be hard to miss you if you never leave. And unless you board the train in the next thirty seconds I believe you'll be remaining at the school for remedial sessions with Professor Snape."

Sirius' eyes widened as he realized all his friends had abandoned him in favor of the train, "Erm, bye then!"

The marauders, Lily, and Maren stood at the windows, watching dejectedly as Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry faded from view.

"Think that's the last time we'll ever se the old place?" Maren murmured sadly, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Nah," Lily sniffled, "We'll just have to organize a reunion or something."

"Reunion?" James turned to her, quickly wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, you know, like a high school reunion? We all get together after ten or twenty years and laugh at who's married whom, who's gotten fat, who's losing their hair . . ."

"Sounds like my type of party," Sirius joked, careful not to meet anyone's eyes for fear that they'd see the sorrow in his own.

The conversation slowly drifted off into a sad silence as they watched the scenery change in a rapid blur. After a few moments Lily wiped a tear from her cheek and, sighing, turned to the compartment they'd reserved earlier. One by one the others followed her, closing the book on another chapter in their lives.

**XxX**

After several games of exploding snap, the accidental detonation of a dungbomb, and a rejected proposal of a game of spin the bottle, the commotion began to settle in the compartment. But as conversation turned to plans for the future and the summer, James separated himself from the group, opting to revel in his own thoughts for the moment. He'd come so far in the past year, and he'd changed so much. He'd changed from head of Hogwarts' troublemakers to Head Boy. But best of all, he'd changed from the boy Lily loathed into the boy that he hoped she loved.

Tearing his eyes from the window, James watched Lily laughing with Maren and Kelly, enduring playful teasing from Sirius, and sharing smiles with Remus. Over the past year those four had become closer to him then his own family, and suddenly he couldn't picture a future without any of them. The Marauders had endured years of strife and joy together and had always come out strong, he knew they'd stay together, but what about him and Lily? James didn't want to begin to think of a life without her; without her smile, without her laugh.

"James?" Her sweet melodic voice pulled him from his reverie.

He looked up, admiring the beautiful innocence of his girlfriend. Taking a deep breath he took the plunge, hoping for the best. "I love you, Lily."

A small smile unfurled across her lips. She climbed onto his lap, placing her arms around his neck and forehead resting against his. She gently brought her lips against his, granting a sweet, chaste kiss before staring deeply into his hazel eyes. "I love you too, James."

**XxX**

**A/N: **And that's the end! It did end rather abruptly . . . but I've had this ending for awhile and had a bit of trouble connecting it to the rest of the story. I hope it doesn't flow too badly. Thank you all for being so fantastic throughout this entire story, especially those who have stayed with it since the beginning . . . I know my sporadic updates have been highly annoying, but thanks for being patient with me! You don't know how sad I am to have to end this fic.

No, there will not be a sequel to this story, or at least I'm not planning on one. I am, however, planning on writing another Lily/James fic that I'd like all of your opinions on. At the moment it's titled "Even a Rose" and the basic idea is that James makes a bet with Sirius that he can get any girl (that Sirius chooses) to fall in love with him in under a week (maybe two) and of course, Sirius chooses Lily Evans. I am, however, having a bit of a problem deciding on who to make Lily's friend for this fic (James, of course, has the marauders) so I'd like you all to give me your opinions when you review. Should I keep Maren's character or would you like a character actually mentioned in the book? (And if so, who? Emmeline Vance, Hestia Jones, Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon, or Alice eventually-longbottom?) Thank you all soooo much!

_**Please Review!**_


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